sᴇʟғɪsʜ~ʟᴇɢᴀᴄɪᴇs {slow updates}

THIRTY FIVE

"Arabella, you gotta calm down kid, I know this hurts but, look everything will be ok, I promise you this isn't the end of the world, not in the way you think it is." Dad says after holding me for a while as I cried. He moves my hair off my face and wipes the tears which had been making the hair stick to my face.

"I'm dead, I died and I turned even though I didn't want to turn and now my boyfriend is going to die after telling me he loves me. And I fall for stupid boys who hurt me but I don't care because I think I deserve to be hurt. I don't know why but I hate myself and I try so hard to be anyone else but I can't escape who I actually am and I just can't take it."

"Arabella, you have way too much that you're keeping to yourself and with your emotions heightened it's getting to you. We're gonna talk out each of your issues ok?" I nod staring at my dad in wonder, I just really never imagined this ever.

"If you didn't want to turn, why did you?" I shrug as he looks at me confused, "I didn't want to leave you guys, I know how mom and Kie would get and I didn't want to put them through that. I also wanted more time with them, I wasn't ready to leave I don't like the uncertainty of death and I didn't want to be alone, and I just got to meet you. I've gone my whole life without you and with all the time and effort I'd put in searching for you I couldn't just give up without getting know you." He smiles slightly and wipes his own eyes.

"If you don't wanna be a vampire I'm sure theres something we can do, I'm sure that there's a cure out there." I shake my head, "uncle Damon has the cure."

"For you I would take it from him, I don't care about the consequences, you, your sister and your mother come first to me." I smile in appreciation but assure him I don't want it.

I guess I was just stuck like this.

"I don't know how to help you on the boy front to be honest, I mean I'm not exactly a poster boy myself am I?  But I got lucky and met the only person who'd be able to love me flaws and all. Trust me when I say there was a lot, I don't know why your mom loved me but not every troubled boy will give you a love like ours, some guys are just dicks and you won't be able to change them." He shrugs making me nod, I feel like Sebastian could've changed though, if he'd just been given the opportunity. With Jed I wasn't sure, he wasn't a bad guy at all but I just don't know if we were meant to be together, or maybe the timing just wasn't right. I knew that I did want him in my life though.

"And don't you worry about whichever guy you see next, I'll tell you if he's good enough for you, if not I'll deal with him." I got the faintest feeling he was hinting at murder once again, "no murder." I say making him scoff, "I wasn't talking about murder." He shrugs trying to play it off, "ok I was but if they hurt my little girl then they deserve anything I come up with." He says making me laugh. 

"Is this making you feel any better?" It wasn't magically solving the issues but talking them out did help and he was trying so yeah I was feeling better.

I nod making him grin to himself.

"It's the siphoning isn't it?" He asks after a few moments of quiet making me look over at him confused. "Why you hate yourself? What you try to change. You hated not having your own power and always needing to get more, you felt like something was missing?" I nod surprised that he knew.

"I felt like an addict who was walking around always burning like I needed a hit to feel the cool relief that would ease the constant itch I felt." He smiles sadly at me and nods in understanding. "That itch goes away, being a vampire means you have your own power now, you should already feel the difference."

"But there's nothing wrong with being a siphon." He tells me seriously, "but it's not fair, why did Kie get her own magic? Why did she get to be perfect whilst I was defective?"

"Hey, you're perfect too. You are stronger because you can take peoples power and you can leave them defenceless and you can always take more. They can't take anything they're just stuck with what they've got. And you're able to be a vampire whilst keeping your magic, other witches can't do that they have to choose. You're more powerful than that, than them." He means every word he says, I can tell that he wants me to understand. "I never want you to think of feel like that again, you are always going to be perfect, always." I hug him again, aware that I was hugging him a lot but I had a lifetime to make up for.

"Thanks dad, I love you."

Cute Kai and arabella therapy chapter? Crying bc Kai never wants his daughter to feel the way he felt growing up but he wasn't there to raise her the way he wished he'd been raised