Forever Yours

Thirty-Three

"I'm eight centimeters dilated, where the fuck is Juan?!" I cry out as Elizabeth rushes back into my room.

I've been at the hospital for so many hours that I've stopped keeping track. I don't know if it's a good thing or bad that our baby has decided to wait for his Daddy to arrive for him to finally be born. The horrifying thought of having a needle go into my spine and the risk of something going wrong with the epidural is what kept me from getting it. Do I regret my decision now that I've been in excruciating pain for more hours than I can count? Yes. Yes, I do, but it feels foolish to try getting it so far along in the labor. I might as well go through with the natural birth at this point.

"I just got off the phone with him. He's like ten minutes away, Anna. He's gonna make it, okay?" Liz says, coming to my side to hold my hand.

Angelica holds my other hand, nodding. "Everything's gonna be fine, hon." she smiles reassuringly.

All of my family got to the hospital almost immediately after Liz and I did. Juan's family will be flying out of Colombia in a few hours. The more intense the labor got, Mark, Oscar, and Joel began to slowly trickle out of the hospital room. They pretty much all told me that they loved me, wished me good luck, but they couldn't handle to see what was about to happen to their sister. Dad did the same thing, taking Max with him. Now it's only Angelica, Hailey, and Liz with me.

I'm a sweaty, irritated, hot mess, so I don't even bother replying to either of them, afraid of the horrible words that may come out of my mouth.  I just nod, taking my hands out of their hold, wiping away at the sweat on my forehead and neck.

"Here," Hailey passes me a small towel, a tight smile on her lips. "use it.

I nod, taking it. "Thanks."

All four of us sit in silence, except for my occasional cries of pain when the contractions come in extra strong. My eyes are closed almost the entire time, praying that somehow God gives me his own version of a natural epidural as I clutch onto the handles of my bed tightly. We find out I'm now nine inches dilated, and the baby is due to come literally at any moment.

Everyone in the room shuffles. "Finally!" I hear Elizabeth let out a gasp of relief.

I open my eyes quickly and immediately feel myself calm as Juan walks into the room, looking a complete and utter wreck, probably much like myself right now. He halts for a second as he's at the foot of my bed. Our eyes lock and immediately we both begin to cry. "I didn't think you were gonna make it." I sob as he hugs me once he's reached the side of my bed. I'm shaking, and I hold onto him like my life depends on it.

"I'm so sorry." he chokes out, shaking his head as he continues to hold onto me. "God, I'm so sorry, bonita."

I nod as tears stream down my face. "I know, I know. It's okay." I say. "I'm just happy you're here now."

"No baby yet?" he chuckles, pulling away, and looking down at my stomach. I don't think I've ever seen so many tears running down his face.

He notices me looking at him and quickly wipes at his face with his palms. "Not yet." I say, shaking my head.

"How are you feeling?" he asks, wiping my tears away for me. He sits carefully on the edge of the bed, taking my hand.

A fresh set of tears take over as I let out a shaky breath. "So tired. I don't know how I'm gonna do this, Juan." I shake my head, beginning to hyperventilate.

"You're gonna do amazing." he nods, reassuring me. "Thank you guys so much for being here with her." Juan turns his attention to the girls in the room.