Letting Go

One

"You coming Taya or not?" My sister asked as I sat at the bottom of my bed fiddling with my fingers.

I shrugged. "I just don't think it's the best thing to do. I've got church in the morning. I don't necessarily have to go out. You and Rick and his friend have a good time." I told her.

"So let me get this straight, you got all dressed up, to do what? Sit in the house? No Taya come on!" She told me with her clutch in hand.

"Taylor I don't want to go. It's not something that's going to make me happy and you know how I get." I said calling her by her middle name.

"Don't call me Taylor. It's Karen." She said causing me to roll my eyes.

"Okay Karen I don't want to go. Go on with Rick and leave me alone please." I begged her.

She sighed. "Alright fine. But you're not about to be doing this the rest of our lives. When are you going to get out and enjoy your life? When are you just going to let go?" She asked me

I couldn't help but flinch at those words. Letting Go has got to be one of the most terrifying and scariest things a girl like me can do. Let Go, letting go of all the pain, hurt and harm that others have caused is hard and it's not an easy journey or a plain sought one either.

Letting go is a new beginning. A new beginning that I'm not necessarily ready for because I haven't healed from the damages brought upon me from so many of those who said 'I love you' and "It won't happen again' countless times. Letting go means you are fully healed, well healed enough to go back and be okay with what situation you're in or who you're with and I am simply not ready for that. Letting Go right now, as of today, is not for me.

It's not for me because I'm still hurt. When will I get over the pain, the harm and suffering? Who knows? I sure as heck don't.

"Taya." Karen said again catching my attention.

"Yes?" I asked.

"You sure you're not trying to go?" She asked me.

"No. Have fun though." I said.

She sighed and nodded her head leaving from my room.

She doesn't know, but she gave me something to think about. Letting go.

~~

This was a very small beginning. Just to get something out to you guys. This story is going to be a lot.

Let me know what you all are thinking as of now. This piece I am super excited to write!