Letting Go

Two

"Taya!" Karen yelled busting into my room excitedly.

I turned around facing her. She held a full wide spread smile.

"Yes?" I asked her dull.

I had spent most of my night reading and writing notes for a Sunday school lesson I would teach. Karen has me in all of my feelings and I just can't seem to get out of them.

"Girl, you ain't moved from bed?" She asked me taking off her heel before she stepped on my carpeted floors.

"I did." I yawned taking my eyeglasses off of my face and running my eyes.

"Now you know you not supposed to." She popped my hands causing me to give her a nasty side eye.

"What did you do since I've been gone?" She asked ignoring the 'heifer please' look I had on my face.

"I did some work." I held up my bible." I left to go get some food and came back home." I shrugged.

"ooo What you get me?" She smiled and I rolled my eyes

"Didn't you just eat, on your date?" I asked her.

"Yeah but I'm still hungry." She pouted.

I rolled my eyes laughing. "You always eating."

"Which is why I stay in the gym." She laughed. "Now give me food I know you love me and got me food!"

"Yeah yeah I do." I smirked grabbing the takeout bag from off of my computer desk handing her a tray and taking mine out.

"Aw and you waited for me so we can eat together! That's love." She fake cried.

"Yeah yeah now tell me about your date."

"It was cute." She shrugged biting her lip. "I just feel so bad because Rays friend."

"He still came!" I asked.

"Yes girl and he was fine!"

"Karen!" I said shocked that she had said that.

"What? Is it wrong to look?" She laughed.

"When it's his friend yes." I shook my head.

"I don't want him. Ricky is the one for me." She sighed content.

"Well I'm happy for you, I'd be even happier if I actually knew Ricky." I added.

"It's not my fault you don't know him. You were supposed to come to dinner tonight. You didn't." She shrugged.

"You know it's hard for me Karen." I sighed.

"I know T but still. You're a grown woman. Twenty-Five years old! You shouldn't care what anyone says and how they feel. You should search for your happiness. Have fun, loosen up." She sighed hugging my shoulder.

"I know. It's just- hard for me, opening up is hard and you of all people know that."

"Well are you going to let those situations run and ruin your life? Huh?" She asked.

"No." I mumbled rolling my eyes.

"I'm only telling you this for your own good. I'm ready to see you happy sis. Like you used to be." She held onto my hand.

"I'm ready to be just that happy again." I sighed.

"And you will be happy. If we work on putting you first. If we work on making you happy before everyone else."

"You're right." I nodded wiping my eye.

"I know I am. Now what we gonna do to get you back to being happy?" She asked me putting her take out container down.

"I don't know." I shrugged looking over at the notepads I had stacked up.

"How about we start making this." She grabbed the book. "A reality."

"What are you talking about?" I asked her.

"The stuff in here. Let's make it real. Let's make it come to life." She smiled.

"No. No. And Heck No. " I shook my head.

"What? Why?" She asked causing me to get up.

I snatched the book from her hand. "Because that in there is private. My stuff isn't ready yet."

"It's ready T. It's been ready. It has always been ready. You're scared." She said causing me to back up.

It's true, I am scared. It's hard to just get up and be ready to throw all of your life and love and every emotion you've ever thought and spill it out, throw it out on the line for criticism. I can't take that.

"Taya." She took the book back. "Your designs have always been ready. You have always been ready."

"You have no idea what you're talking about." I shook my head feverishly.

"For once use what God said, what you teach about and use it in your own life. Step out and Walk by faith." She said looking into my eyes.

For a second I let down my guard, and thought about it, what I could actually do. What it all could actually mean and I shook my head again.

"Karen, please." I said causing her to place both of her hands on my arms.

"You and I both know that you have God within you and you always have. With him on your side, you will never lose. Start believing that." She said dropping the book on my desk and walking out.

I paced my room, thinking of all the possibilities and I suddenly felt a headache come on. Deciding to call it a night I bit my lip and sighed deeply before closing my door, turning off my light and getting straight in bed.

~~~

Authors Note: How y'all feeling so far? This one is going to be inspirational to someone hopefully, yall love it. More to come soon