Reconcile [Herophine]

Chapter 11

Josephine

Mum is still in coma and today, dad will leave me forever. Last week, he left me mentally but today, he'll leave physically as well. I won't be able see him again. I won't be able to hear his cranky jokes again. His adorable laugh, his goofy smile. Won't be able to hear him tease me about my boyfriend. He won't be there to comfort me in my bad times. How will I live my life without him, when I was totally dependent on him?

After everything with Hero. Even though I never told my parents what happened. He was there for me. He never forced me into anything. When I would cry at night, he was always the first one to come and comfort me. He would sing me to sleep and use to stay with me so that the next time I get nightmares, he would be there already.

I tear roll down my eye as I stare in the mirror and reminisce all the memories I had with my dad because I won't be able to make new ones with him.

A knock on the door interupted my paradise.
"Love, you ready?" It was Ansel. He's been here since the next morning after my dad passed away. It was all over the news. Me running like a maniac in the hospital. God knows how the paparazzi found out about it. They even found out that I and Ansel are dating. I haven't talked with Hero about that. I'm not in the state to talk about it.
"Jo?" He called out again.
"Y-yea.." I said and walk towards the door and open it. He look at me with soft eyes and flashed a cute smile at me. I press my body in his arms and hug him tightly. His been my best comfort this whole week. He was always there for me when I needed him. He became my dad while my dad left me.

"I-i can't do this...I can't say goodbye to him.... I'm not ready..." I being to cry again in his arms. This is what I've been doing this whole week. Either I'm sleeping or crying. He began to soothe me and pat my head softly.
"It's okay, love. It's the last time you gonna see him. After today, you won't see him ever. Alive or dead. He'll become a part of your memory that's it. As crule as this sound that's the truth. Because I know if you won't go today, then you gonna regret it for your whole life because time doesn't wait for anyone."

He's right. Even my dad wouldn't want to see me like this. I nod my head and sniffles. He place the strad of my hair behind my ears and wipe my tears with the pad of his thumb.
"You know... you're most beautiful without any make-up." I let out a laugh through cry at his words. He smile and place a kiss on my forehead.
"Let's go?"
I nod my head and took a deep breath. I can do this...

*At the funeral*

I'm just so exhausted. Everyone here is just here to pity me. I don't want their sympathy. I'm beyond annoyed now. God know how they even know me... because I don't know half of them...who the fuck invite this many people's? Even people I haven't talked in ages are trying to sympathise me. Mercy, Titan, Felix, Hero all of them are here but I haven't talked them neither did they tried. They're all talking with Kath and here I'm sitting in the front row with Ansel, with my head on his shoulder as he soothe me and give me the power to go through all of this.

I don't know what I would do if it wasn't for him.  I look up at him and smile a little and sat up.
"You sure you'll be alright without me?" I nod my head and took his hands in mine. Something I do, when I'm talking something important with someone who is an important part of my life.

"Ansel...thank you for being there for me all this week...I know you don't wanna leave tomorrow but it's just for few days beside you can't slide your work, okay? I don't want you to be worry about me. Today or tomorrow, I've to get the fact that I don't have my dad anymore and it's not like you're going for months, it's just a week. I'm sure, I'll handle myself." I kiss his hands and look at him. Trying to be brave for him because I know he won't leave, if he isn't sure that I'm okay and I don't want him to procasinate his work for me. He smile and kiss my forehead.

He had to leave because some part of the movie isn't as good as it should be so they gonna reshoot it but he'll be back in a week and I'm sure I can handle myself till then. I don't wanna be a burden to anyone.

Soon it's time for us to say our eulogise. I'm the first one. I got up and went up to the stage and clear my throat. My throat is already heavy and my eyes are filled with tears. I don't need to write anything. I can say on my own.
"Today... it's been a week since I lost my dad, my Hero, my first friend, my best friend and everything. He was my world. He was best anyone could ask for....he was always there for me...after my first break up...(I look at Hero) I was devastated and br-broken...but he..he helped me pick my broken pieces and sew them back together....I forgot how..to laugh...how to live a life...he taught me that it's okay to give yourself another chance....that life doesn't end just because someone breaks your heart.... somewhere there is someone who is made for you....he bought me out of my depression...he was always there to hold me when...when I use to have nightmares at night...He was a real Hero. My Hero. Who left me in this cruel world alone. I'll miss you.... I'll miss you dad...you were my everything...."

I being to sob, not being able to hold it anymore. Ansel came on the stage and wrap his arms around me and took me back to the seats. I kept crying and everything is blur to me and now it's finally time to bury him. I'm not ready for this. I'm not ready to say goodbye to him.

Remember I don't like to see you cry. My subconscious reminds me my dad's word. He never liked to see me cry. He'll be sad to see me like this. He won't like it if I'll cry while I'm bidding farewell to him. I wipe my tears like a big girl and took a deep breath.

You won't cry Jo. Dad won't like it. I grab his hand and walk to cemetary. My father was placed in the coffin as they drive away and we follow behind them. At cemetary the priest said the prayer and we threw the soil in his coffin as  it was placed in the hole that is dug for his coffin.

I tried to control it but I can't. It just-just started flooding down my eyes. I turn and wrap my arms around Ansel as I cry in his chest. 

Hero, Felix, Titan, Mercy, Kath. Everyone is staying at Kath' place. As we reach home. I straight away went in the bedroom. Even though dad didn't use to live with me yet my house seems like it's empty. I've this empty feeling my heart that I can't express.

It's the feeling like-like I don't know...I can't explain it's just I'm feeling very alone and no one can feel this empty feeling in my heart.

I spun around I hear the door of my bedroom creak.
"Can I come in?" Ansel ask. I nod my head and furiously wiped my tears.
"It's alright, Jo.. there's nothing wrong in it.... you've lost you're dad. You've every right to cry..." He engulf me in his arms from behind and kiss my temple.

I turn to him and look at him with pleading eyes.
"Please make me forget about this. Even if it's  just for tonight. You're leaving tomorrow. Please make me forget all of this..." I whisper.
"Are you sure?" He ask. Making sure I'm not asking for something out of emotion that I might regret afterwards.
I nod my head. He slowly lean in and pressed his lips on mine and I close my eyes as I feel the fire in my stomach erupted.

A/N

Who want Smuts? But of Ansel and Jo...So next chapter will contain Smuts. Be ready for my awful Smuts. Well i'll try my best.
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