Reconcile [Herophine]

Chapter 17

How can you love someone so much it makes you hate them- Remember by Liam Payne.

Josephine

What have I done? 

I wash my hands and looked at my reflection in the mirror. Perhaps it's too early? I shouldn't have said yes? Perhaps I still don't love him to the length, where I would consider marrying him? Perhaps I still love Hero? Perhaps I'm not ready for it? It's too early? Or it's just me feeling uneasy and I love him? I love him there's no doubt however not as much as he loves me. I don't wanna hurt him. Perhaps, perhaps too many perhaps are there!

I love Ansel but I'm still not over Hero. It hurts me to see Hero crying and hurt but I don't wanna hurt the only person, who love me to death without expecting anything in return. He was there for me at my worst. But I indeed betrayed him. How am I going to tell this to him? That I kissed my ex just after he proposed me and I said yes? I kissed my ex just because I couldn't control my goddamn feelings? because I love him, I can't bear to see him cry but what about Ansel? What about him? How can I do this to him? How? Why didn't I contempt about it before? 

Am I even going to tell him? Will he stay with me after finding out the truth? Will he still love me? 

Tons of question begin to frustrate my mind and fuck it up. I fucked up! I splash water on my face. In hope that it'll stop the question but no such luck.

I look in the mirror, I look horrible, tears blemish on my cheeks. My nose and cheeks red from all the crying. I need to calm down. 

Should I call it off?but it'll hurt Ansel...and I don't wanna hurt him but hiding things from him won't solve it..will it? Just because I won't tell him doesn't mean he won't figure it out. It will hurt him more, if he'll find out from someone else and the only person beside me who know is Hero and I'm not sure if I can trust him? Not after what he said to me.

"I'll do everything to stop it because I know, I know you love me."

My eyes shut off as I reminisce past few hours of my life. 

"I don't wanna be you're boyfriend anymore.."

Colour drain out of my face. H-he don't wanna be my boyfriend? He want to break up?

"W-Wh-What?" I stuttered. The look on his face told me he wasn't kidding...So he-he really want of call it off then?

Then he kneel on his knees and pull out a ring. 

What is even doing? I look down at him as he smile but his eyes are nervous. 

"I wanna be your husband. Do me a honour and be my wife?" He flash me his cute smile with puppy eyes. Everything in me screamed to say yes furthermore there was this tiny part in my heart that told me that I'm not ready for this. I stand there contemplating whether to yes or not. There was this inner battle going on in me. The bigger part told me to say yes but the tiny part was still not convinced however off course the bigger part in me won and I said yes. 

He place the ring on my finger. Chorus of 'ohh' and 'ahh' were audible in the room. I laugh through tears and hug him. I was so ecstatic about this until I snap my head and saw Hero standing over there with a girl beside him and tears streaming down his face. 

He tried to smile at us and appreciate it but I can see it in his eyes that he was broken. He was in pain and this made my heart shiver. 

At some point I hate him but when I see him cry or in pain because of me, It breaks me into sheds. He just turn around and left. The girl look around, surely uncomfortable and came towards me and extended her hand. I took it and  smile at her.