another pretty december | b.e

three

los angeles.

what a fucking dream it has been to step foot onto american grounds.

I didn't sleep at all on the plane and im fucking exhausted.

I felt like I'd been awake for weeks.

I lay my head on the window and watch the late night streets of la, the crowds of people and the cars pass me by.

and we're about to go straight into a late meeting.

because at six in the morning, im going to be stepping foot onto the tour bus and my whole life is going to change.

I mean I've been on my own 'tour' and sung in front of thousands of people but it's nothing compared to what im about to endure.

"are you ready?" harry mutters from beside me, and I realise we've arrived outside of a building.

"no" I muter, rubbing my sleepy eyes.

"come on love, ill get you to bed soon"

"you better be cuddling me tonight" I grumble, climbing out of the car.

he closes the car door and we follow Lisa and the security and I ignore the paparazzi, not having time to make sure I look okay or making sure they're not actually taking photos of me.

I don't have the time to care.

I keep my head down and follow them down the hall and into the..elevator, pulling my phone out to check my hair in the camera, ignoring the size of the bags underneath my eyes.

harry nudges me a I look up, seeing him looking down, smirking at me.

"fuck off" I mumble and Lisa clears her throat, wanting me to not to swear.

the doors open and Lisa steps outside, turning right and smiling.

we all step out and mike, billies manager is stood there, outside the door waiting for us.

honestly, I think Lisa has a little crush on him.

"welcome to los angeles, are you guys ready?"

I nod my head and he gives me a small smile. "I know you're probably tired, we'll be finished as soon as possible don't worry"

"no im okay, don't rush it because of me" he opens the door and we all step inside and I scan my eyes around the table, seeing billies team, her family and most importantly, billie.

she's got her head down, looking at her phone and I sit down at the opposite side of the table, resisting the urge to lay my head down on the table and fall asleep.

"okay we'll get this started"

i try and concentrate but when they start talking about the details of flights, i zone out, focusing more on my nails rather than what they're talking about.

when i glance up to billie, she's no longer looking at me but I could feel her gaze on me.

does she have a problem?

I keep my gaze on her and she looks up, looking me dead in the eyes and I fold my arms over my chest, laying back onto the back of the chair and she sucks her teeth, looking me up and down before returning her gaze back down to her phone. 

what the fuck?

"so in regards to the tour buses, we've had some issues" 

I look over to mike who's glancing over to billie and I, obvious we were barely paying attention.

"what the fuck are you talking about?" billie sits up, shoving her phone into her pocket and harry nudges me, eyeing me to sit up.

I roll my eyes and sit up too, keeping my eyes on mike. 

"as you know, our main mode of transportation is going to be the tour buses but we were only able to get four buses"

"and what's the problem?"

"the main tour bus has two levels, one for Lisa and I, Maggie, Patrick and the other level for finneas, harry, December and billie"

"no fucking way" billie shakes her head, folding her arms over her chest.  "I explained to you that-"

"billie" mike cuts her off, clearing his throat. "we should have this issue sorted and have another bus available but in the mean time, there's enough space with the buses provided"

"bullshit" billie yells and I stare at her angry expression with my brows furrowed. "im not sharing my space with them"

"that's enough" mike raises his voice at her and she scoffs. "either you can grow up and stop acting like a child or we can cancel this tour. end of discussion billie"

"cancel the tour then" billie shrugs, looking away and Maggie reaches to touch her arm, muttering something to her but she shrugs her off, running her fingers through her hair. "I told you im not sharing my bus"

I don't realise tears are falling until a single drop lands on my hand and I push my chair back, ignoring everyone who's looking at me and walk out of the room, wiping my eyes as I go. 

"december, wait!"

"no" I turn back to Lisa who's running after me. "im not sitting there when im clearly not wanted" I press the button for the elevator and turn around so she can't see me, wiping my eyes. 

im so fucking exhausted and I just wanna go to bed.

"it's not like that" Lisa comes up beside me and roll my eyes, turning around.

"well what does it look like? im so fucking exhausted from travelling and was excited to meet billie but she doesn't even wanna be in the same bus as me?"

"she likes her space"

I scoff "newsflash Lisa, she's not the only fucking person on the bus who wants their own personal space. put me on the bus with the rest of the team then, hell I'll even sleep with the equipment. I don't give a fuck" 

the meeting door opens and harry steps outside, running his fingers through his hair. 

"you and harry go to the hotel, the details are here" Lisa opens her file and hands me a sheet of paper. 

"I'll get it sorted before the morning, don't worry"

the elevator door opens and I didn't reply, walking inside.

harry joins me and presses the door closed, pulling me into a hug where I cry into his chest.

im tired, im hungry and I don't wanna deal with this right now.

does she even want me on this tour?

because the way she looked at me, the way she look almost disgusted when she was told that I was going to be on the same bus as her makes me feel differently.

have I done something wrong?

I have the fans to think about. 

not billie.

she can go and fuck herself. 

just a little note: this book is a slow burner!