another pretty december | b.e

thirty nine

"so this is the final show of tour" I pout, looking around at the thousands of people all watching me, their phones flashing in my face.

my first show just feels like yesterday.

"my album is coming out tomorrow so I thought you'd want to hear a song for the first time, what do we think?" the screams erupt louder than before and I smile, thinking of a similar scream billie was doing last night in bed.

not the time december.

once I finish singing 'addicted' i myself down on the stool and take a deep breath.

"before I go and let billie come out, I wanted to sing a special song, is that okay?" the crows screams and I put the mic back on the stand, waiting for the music to start.

tonight i'm performing a cover of a song I relate to a lot right now.

I know im probably gonna get in a lot of shit for singing this song but I don't care, I wanna sing what I wanna sing.

it's the final day of tour, what are they gonna do? kick me off?

'when you hold me in the street
and you kiss me on the dancefloor
I wish that it could be like that
why can't it be like that?cause I'm yours
we keep behind closed doors
every time I see you I die a little more
stolen moments that we steal as the curtain falls
It'll never be enough
It's obvious you're meant for me
every piece of you it just fits perfectly
every second, every thought, I'm in so deep
but I'll never show it on my face
but we know this, we got a love that is hopeless
why can't you hold me in the street?
why can't I kiss you on the dancefloor?
I wish that it could be like that
why can't we be like that?
cause I'm yours
when you're with him, do you call his name
like you do when you're with me?
does it feel the same?
would you leave if I was ready to settle down
or would you play it safe and stay?
girl you know this, we got a love that is hopeless
why can't you hold me in the street?
why can't I kiss you on the dancefloor?
I wish that it could be like that
why can't we be like that?
cause I'm yours
and nobody knows, I'm in love with someone's baby
I don't wanna hide us away
tell the world about the love we making
I'm living for that day, someday
can I hold you in the street?
why can't I kiss you on the dancefloor?
I wish that we could be like that
why can't we it be like that?
Cause I'm yours, I'm yours
why can't you hold me in the street?
why can't I kiss you on the dancefloor?
I wish that it could be like that
why can't it be like that?
cause I'm yours
why can't I say that I'm in love?
I wanna shout it from the rooftops
I wish that it could be like that
why can't we be like that?
cause I'm yours
why can't we be like that?
wish we could be like that

I wave everyone goodbye, blowing kisses and running off the side of the stage, standing beside claudia ready to watch billie perform for the final time on this tour.

I never thought it would already be over.

it feels like we've been doing this tour for two seconds.

im gonna miss this feeling.

the whole tour has been a rollercoaster but the ending of this tour is perfect.

and I get to go home with billie and spend an extra two weeks alone together.

I can't wait.

Lisa comes up beside me and I expect her to yell for singing 'secret love song' because everyone behind stage knew I probably just sang it about billie, but she just smiles and wraps her arm around my neck.