another pretty december | b.e

four

tysm for 1k

what's your favourite drink? mine is pepsi max  <3

I vaguely remember harry carrying me somewhere half asleep, but when I wake up properly, im not in the hotel, but in a place which resembles a coffin.

huh?

did I die?

hell fucking yeah.

I sit up but bang my head and grumble a 'fuck' under my breath, rubbing the top of my head.

I feel around me and one of the walls is like a curtain and I pull it back, seeing a faint light and I peek my head out of the row of coffin like beds.

I look down and see my jordans on the floor, but nothing else.

its a groan, I climb out of the tiny space and I realise im on a moving vehicle.

am I on the tour bus?

I feel around in my pockets but I don't feel my phone, or anything for that matter.

"harry?" I call out, confused.

I don't wanna move and frankly, im too scared.

what if she's out there?

the last thing I remember is cuddling up to harry in bed, smiling when he complains about my cold feet.

he knows I don't sleep with socks on.

a door opens and I smile when I see harry walking in, my bag in his hand.

"hi sleepy head, how did you sleep?"

"how long did I sleep for?" I glance down at my clothes, which I was wearing when I fell asleep in the hotel.

"well I couldn't wake you up so I carried you into the car to the bus and then into your designated bunk" he taps on the wood, opening the curtain above mine.

"this is my bed"

"what time is it?"

"eight in the morning, you can still stay in bed if you want, we've got a couple more hours before we get to the first venue"

"did Lisa sort out the bus?"

"mhm" harry hums, his long fingers messing with one of my braids. "ive been talking with finneas the past couple of hours, billie has been in her bed sulking"

"she's here?"

of course she's here.

fucking idiot. 

"yes, she's definitely not in a good mood right now if I was you, I'd stay out of her way"

I wasn't thinking about going into her bed and asking for a fucking cuddle now was I?

does he think im stupid?

"so does she get her own room?"

"there's a big bedroom at the back of the bus which is for billie"

"and we've got these fucking things?" I glance to my bunk and harry laughs. "someone is still grumpy"

"where's my lamby?" I don't bother replying to him, climbing back into my bunk and shoving my bag by my feet.

"you think I'd forget miss stinky?"

he reaches behind his back and pulls out my precious angel and I smile, taking it from him.

"call her miss stinky again and I will cut your dick off" I argue, tucking myself up and cuddling into her and harry leans down to kiss me on the forehead and then kisses lamby.

"goodnight girls"

"goodnight dickface" I smile, closing my eyes and I swear I can hear him rolling his eyes before the curtain closes.

and before you ask, yes I still sleep with my childhood bear lamby.

no I will not hear and slander.

she's my best friend, the only one, other than harry, who i tell all my secrets too.

it doesn't make me childish, or whatever the fuck.

sleeping with my bear is comforting.

and she's the one thing no one else knows about but harry. 

and I know that if billie found out, she'd probably laugh at me. 

so I need to keep lamby close, keep her safe and hidden away from everyone. 

I roll over and realise there's a window so I slide it open, watching the cars drive past in the morning glow.

it's so weird to think im in america right now.

and in a couple of hours, im about to be on stage opening for billie.

even though that girl if confusing the hell outta me. 

I haven't done anything wrong and it seems like she hates me.

but im past the point of caring.

and if billie wants to hate me, let her.

I don't care.

I don't care if she sits in bed and sucks all day.

I don't care if she stays away from me because if she's going to act the way she has been, I want her to stay the hell away from me. 

I slide the shutter on the window and close my eyes, loving how the gentle vibrations of the bus rock me to sleep.