Freaks - S.S

I feel worse than ever

Just sad and drunk Harley.

Another day successfully completed on a mission! Another day where Amanda complimented them instead of scaring them with a bomb around their neck! Another day where she was able to exchange a few smiles with Floyd. Another great day.

Or another night dedicated to drinking cheap alcohol in the darkness of her small room. The clink of glass was the only sound that bounced around the room, leaving it eerily quiet by the standards of "the craziest person on the team who can never shut up"

"That's what everyone thinks of me. I'm nothing but an annoying girl who is the ugliest inside person you could possibly know" the girl whispered to herself while tilting the bottle once again that evening.

She didn't know exactly why she ended up this way in the first place, or why it suited her so well. It had started a few weeks ago when she first returned from her mission and felt the urge to "drink alone", it was the night where she think that no one had ever really loved her. Not him, not anyone else.
And she wanted very much to cry then, just to throw herself on the bed and cry until she could not catch her breath and her eyes hurt unmercifully, but this one thought, of taking alcohol was so strong and tempting.
She rarely drank, if only occasionally one glass, or when meeting him, but never alone. And when she broke through and reached for this activity she could not break away, she did it more and more until she reached the point today where it became practically a daily thing.
Luckily no one but her knew about it, because they dumped all the empty bottles on Boomerang who is known for his fondness for alcohol.
She could stay in this state as long as she wanted
She had a fast metabolism, she didn't even have a hangover in the morning.
Wasn't it all just perfect? It was like someone had written a script just for her.

"And that's not the case? Someone has to put your life together for you because you can't do anything yourself."

Shut up, Harleen. I told you to stop messing with my head. You're not gonna make me feel any worse than I already feel.

"You're the one who makes it possible for me to do this at all. You let me do it, don't you? You want someone to speak your thoughts and put you down to reality."

No one wants to hear what I have to hear from you almost all the time. You're awful.

"I am you. These are all your thoughts, actions, memories. You're the one who's awful."

There was a momentary silence between statements before the girl spoke again.

You've done it again Harleen. I feel worse than ever. - followed by another tilt of the bottle and one solitary tear running down her cheek.