Freaks - S.S

June~

Consequences of June.

No one ever asked that one particular question

Several months had passed, long and painful months, but it had slipped everyone's minds

Amanda was never interested in what happened after the mission, she was only interested up to a certain point and then she let it go and forgot about it.

She didn't have any friends to talk to about this, firstly it was a deal they had made with Amanda, and the other thing was, she didn't want to talk about such things with ordinary friends. It could expose them

And finally there is Rick, the love she met in the aftermath of all this. The person she trusted more than anything.
But he didn't ask either. He was by her side and put his protective arms around her.

But he didn't ask the question "What are the repercussions?"

They might have thought she was too devastated to talk about it, but she needs to tell someone about it

Leaving it all inside her made her wonder if she would ever get rid of it, but I guess the answer would  be no.
Further under her skin she felt a pressure as if her other self wanted to get out, her blood boiling and her heart speeding up whenever her vision blurred for a moment, afraid she would lose control again and again, and control she would never know again

Now she has no control either, she would like to believe she does, but the nightmares give a different answer. The panic attacks that come while looking in the mirror inevitably come every few days, leaving her crying on the bathroom floor. At one point, the spot on the floor became her most visited place

The bags under her eyes, in an inhumanly blue-phylloquette, radiated on her face, the sleepless nights which were beginning to reach double digits
She could count on the fingers of one hand the moments when she slept normally for more than two hours.

She was devastated, and she couldn't change that.
No one could, no one wanted to. No one would listen.
Not even Rick
And the blemish shone brightly on her heart