You Can Paint Me

Chapter 46

Author's P.O.V.

Another week had went by, similar like the rest. The hectic exam month had finally come to an end and everyone was left with mixed emotions. Relieved that they were over and done with the constant pressure of studying, but simultaneously, a little bit emotional. The senior students would have to take a step further in their lives, as their high school life was over and would have to face the life of a college student. They would have to get separated from their friends, leaving them behind so they could welcome new adventures. On the bright side, it was the High school's tradition to throw a graduation party for their seniors that would soon leave. So that left the students with another emotion, excitement. Excited to have fun and cherrish the final moments with each other, before summer holidays start, by throwing the last party of this school year.

For Olivia, this week wasn't any different from the rest. She might had gathered all the answers she needed, but she couldn't help but feel heartbroken. However bad she tried cheering up, knowing the reason why Chan was still keeping his distance from her, she couldn't. She didn't want to feel this way. It was selfish of her to want to be with him after all that had happened. She knew the choice he made was out of pure selflessness and love for his two friends, so she couldn't even stay mad at him. She wished that she could, though. She wanted to be mad at him for choosing to act this way towards her. She wanted to loath him for being so annoyingly considarate of everyone, for acting so maturely and controlling his emotions in a way she couldn't. But of course, even if she wanted to, she just simply couldn't. If anything, it only made her fall harder for him. For the way he handled everything so sensibly, even if it hurt her inside.

This week, Olivia had decided to focus on her studies entirely and try to forget about everything, wanting to at least do better in the rest of her exams. It wasn't easy, though. She would often get distracted, her mind would travel and memories would come crashing down in her brain. She disliked the way she was torturing herself by willingly trying to remember the good memories she had with him, making her heart tingle with a warm feeling. She would get mad at herself every time she would faintly smile at herself while recalling the past. She would often catch herself wanting to sketch again. Sketch him again.

It wouldn't be the first time. Oh no, it would definetely not be the first time. It had become a habit of hers, unconsciously...at first. She would now willingly grab the pencil and scribble on her sketch book random lines, until they formed into a figure. A familiar figure that back then annoyed her to the bone. She didn't even know why she ever started sketching Chan and most importantly, why she had fully filled a paper folder with her random and uncomplete sketches of him. She would sketch him every night, when she was having trouble falling asleep. When she was mad at herself for not being able to draw bananas. When he would have annoyed her or made her smile. In every deferent scenario she would find herself sitting on her desk, sketching him. 

A block full of sketches of him. Either only his back, his eyes, hands or his heart-shaped dimply smile. Never had she fully sketched his face or his whole body, only parts of him. Every time she would want to rip the paper sheet off of her sketch book and grumble it, as she found it ridiculous of her to draw someone that was so cocky and full of himself, or at least, that's what she thought back then. But even so, she acted otherwise, carefully ripping each unfinished drawing from the spiral of her sketchbook and neatly placing it inside a plain, brown paper folder.

If only she knew that his words would affect her brain to this extent. If only Chan hadn't made that joke back when they first met, when he suggested she should use him as an inspiration and stop constantly painting a bowl of fruit. He was only teasing her back then, liking the way she would fuel up and lash out on him. Not that he would mind a pretty girl using him as a reference to paint, of course. Teasing or not, however, his words inserted in her brain in the most impossible way, obligating her to fullfill his request, without him knowing. Without her knowing.