The Dare

Chapter 27

It's him.
As he walks closer, a cold breeze passes by sending chills down my spine.
I swallow as he keeps walking towards me, I start to feel the butterflies swarming in my stomach.
"Y/n?"
I freeze. A nostalgic pang resonates through me as soon as I hear his voice.
I look up "Hi Noah" I say half smiling.
He pushes his thick hair out of his eyes in a gesture of disbelief I've seen him make a million times.
That's when i notice his red eyes.

He doesn't say anything he just looks at me.
Like really looks at me.

Memories flash into my head from four years ago. I could remember the moment i read the letter he left in my locker on my last day.
I still read it all the time, and i keep it in the back of my phone case.

"What are you doing here" he says rubbing the back of his neck, almost embarrassed that I saw everything he did a few minutes ago.

"I live here" I reply. 
"Fourth floor doesn't have a good view so I come up here."

"Do you live here?" I ask almost hoping he would say yes.

He shakes his head "no I live over at the other apartment complex." He said pointing outwards.  I follow his finger pointing to the tall building across from my this building. The building that's in front of my balcony.

I turn my head back and he's looking over at me, then quickly looks away.

"How long" he asks sitting next to me on the ledge.

"A year or two now, you"

"About 3 years. I dropped out of school as I was already getting noticed for my acting."

I jerk my head forward with my mouth open. His eyebrows rise and a smile forms on his face.
"Acting!?"
He nods and almost laughs.
Acting was his dream.
"When I'm not filming I work in a restaurant"
I jerk my head again and then same smile forms on his face. He smiles so big, i can see every tooth.
"Your two favourite things" i say.

He turns his head so his eyes meet mine, before looking down once again.

"What's the name?"

"Manhatta" he says not looking back up.

I nod, "must stop by sometime"

He looks down at the streets below, he jaw tenses as he thinks. He's so.. grown up. My brain still has an overwhelming amount of young Noah images. Looking at him now is like looking through a telescope into the future. Its so weird to be so close to him and imagine all the moments he's had without me.

As if he can tell my eyes are on him, he turns his head back to me. That's when I look into both of his brown eyes. There's this sadness behind his eyes that i can't make out.

"Why were you crying Noah" i whisper.

"I wasn't" he says lying.

"Noah i watched you, you smashed the pots, you seemed angry"

"You in college?" he says finally looking back up at me, completely abandoning my question.

I nod "Nursing in ASA"
He's eyes open wide "You got in?"
I nod trying not to smile.
He knew how much I wanted to go to this college. He shakes his head in disbelief still looking down.

"How's Chris"
He freezes for a second.
He turns to me and looks away again. There's beeping from down below that broke the silence.
The worst thought comes into mind
"Noah" I say scooting closer to him.
He's folds his lips together holding back tears.
"Chris passed away this morning"
His voice comes out thick with emotion.
I shake my head. Nausea rolls up my from my stomach to my throat. I give myself three seconds to look at him tearing up, and it's like another punch in the gut.
Noah's my person. He's always been my person. And I've spent the last four years angry and self- righteous. But at the end of the day, he tore a hole in us, and fate ripped it wide open.

"I'm sorry y/n" he whispers.

I shake my head again as flashbacks of Chris came into my head.

"After you left, you were still the main topic we ever talked about"
I laugh.
"Chris loved you y/n" he says looking back at me now.

"It was also the closest I ever felt to you after you left"
I look at him confused.
"It felt like he knew more about you than I did myself" he laughed.
"Because all he talked about was you and it felt like I was still with you, that you were still here."

Another tear rolls down my face.
I look down at the streets avoiding this eyes.
"But he got too sick y/n" he said softly.
I close my eyes. Trying to stop them from coming. The tears, the memories.
I swing both my legs back on the roof top.
"Noah I better go, I promised Ethan that-

I stop, regretting what i just said.

"Ethan?" Noah says standing up narrowing his eyes.

"My.... my boyfriend.."
He blinks a few times, and seeming- for the first time I've ever witnessed- to be lost for words.
He slowly nods.
"Oh okay. Hopefully I'll see you around"
He says turning to the railing before I could even respond.
I stand there waiting for him to say something or turn around. But he doesn't.
So I turn around and walk to the exit door, regretting everything i said two seconds ago.

Before closing it I look out at him one more time and he's looking over his shoulder at me, watching me.
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