A complicated life

Strange feelings

Y/ns pov:

After you and Siyeon had a little fun, you decided to stay at her room. She was sleeping next to you, but you were not able to sleep. Your doctor had said it was because of your trauma and with doctor you mean Gahyeon. Your little medicin genius. She was in charge of treating all the unlucky members of your organisation that got wounded. 

The mans face you killed just a few hours ago was still on your mind. You wanted it to not bother you, but it did. You hated to kill people. You didn't wanted to take someones life, but sometimes it was neccessary. Espacially in your field of work.

"Why am I even trying. I can't sleep anyways." You thought and quietly stood up.

You didn't wanted to wake the wolf next to you, so you gently pulled her arm away from your waist. You grabbed your clothes and started to dress yourself, when you heard the other woman move. It was not uncommon for you to leave her after sex, but you always waited for her to fall asleep.

"Why are you always leaving? Its not like you have work right now." Siyeon had her eyes half open and watched you get dressed.

"You know I have insomnia. Why should I waste my time laying in a bed when I can be productiv?" You asked back.

In your voice was a slightly annoyed tone.

"No need to get annoyed." Siyeon smiled.

"I see you." You scoffed and exited the room.

Sometimes the other underboss was just annoying and you hated that. Siyeon always had the need to tease you and right now you couldn't stand it.

"There is a gun deal I have to plan." You thought and made your way to your office.

That was your part to take care of gun deals, observations and gettering information about your enemies and a lot more. A few years ago Siyeon would've done that, but since the incident she was no longer willing to go out of the HQ alone. You knew she hated to be alone and had terrible nightmares about the thing that happened to her.

"She has changed a lot through he years." You thought and opened the door to your office.

No light illuminated the dark room, as you made your way to your desk. You were deep in thought about Siyeon and her behavior towards you. Sometimes she acted so cold and distand and sometimes she was just the friendliest little goofball. Other members of your organisation were scared of her because she never showed them her real self. She barly did it. Sometimes she let it slip through and you could see behind her mask.

"God I wish I could just sleep for once and stop thinking about stuff like this." You whispered and sat down in your chair.

The office was still in darkness, but your eyes got used to the dark. It was not a really hard job you had to do. You worked realy good under the pressure your boss kept you, but sometimes the lack of sleep and the never ending tasks got the better of you. You hated to admit it of course, but you couln't deny it. At these nights you felt so lonely even when you shared the bed with Siyeon.

She just used you for fun and you knew it. You were just a toy for her. Thats why you used her too. She was very good at helping you relese some stress and you always got sadisfied, so you never complained or maybe she was realy intressted in you. You were not able to tell. She was the master of lies.

Tomorrow the biggest gun deal you ever did, was planed and you were nervous. Your boss told you it was a very important seller, so you felt anxious. Your boss was usually doing stuff like that, but she wanted to give you more responsiblity and you were not happy about it. You hated it to be precise. You didn't wanted to met important buissnes partners. Your usual buyers and sellers were tiny fish and you knew how to handle them.