A complicated life

Hard work

Y/ns pov:

Covered in sweat, you shot up from your position. The nightmare you had woke you up. It took you a moment to realize where you were and what happened. You let your hand run over your face to brushing the sweat away.

"Always the same dream." You sighed and stood up.

You knew damn well that you would not be able to find sleep again. It was always like this. Eighter you were not able to sleep at all or you had this nightmare, that woke you up every time you tried to sleep. You were used to only sleep a few hours a night by now, but with time it was exhausting and dragged on your mental health. The times you were not able to sleep well, made you more aggressive. Everyone around you knew that.

"At least I can already prepare for the meeting later." You thought and dressed.

You put on a black shirt and black jeans. A belt held them in place as you tucked your shirt in. On your way out of your room, you grabbed your leather jacket and gun.

You trusted that 9 mm pistol more than most of the men that worked for Handong. The beretta you used never left you hanging.

The warehouse was silent and you could hear the waves of the ocean hitting the shore. Other people would feel relaxed hearing this sound, but for you, it was annoying and stressful. The sound of the water hitting the docks made you restless. They triggered a fear that was deep inside of you. A fear you wanted to forget and finally let go of it, but somehow you couldn't.

Pictures of that tragic event popped up in your mind. You thought you got rid of them, but you were wrong. They still lurked in the depths of your mind and came to the surface when you needed them the least.

"Why? After all these years I'm still not able to get over it. How weak am I? Pathetic." You cursed at yourself, while you walked down the stairs.

Two of the men were guarding the main gate and greeted you, as you approached them.

"I need to distract myself from the fact that I live right next to my greatest fear." You thought and walked past them.

Outside of the building, the sound of the waves were even louder. You were not able to look at the massive amount of water and walked with your head down to the vehicles. They stood in a hangar-like hall right next to the warehouse and behind it was the building with the dorms for your men.

The three buildings were surrounded by a tall fence. There were only two gates in the fence. One leading to the main road and one to the docks. It was like a giant cage.

"Why do I feel like an inmate?" You asked yourself, as you pulled out the keys for your bike.

Another thing you brought with you. You hated to use the company cars. They always smelled like cigarettes and fast food. Our car was left by you at the HQ and you decided to take the bike with you. 

It was a black Ducati scrambler. You loved that bike. The only thing you truly loved. Of course, you cared for Siyeon and your boss, but that was it. Since Siyeon had acted strangely towards you with her feelings and stuff, you were not sure how you felt about her. 

You shook your head in confusion and swung one leg over your beloved machine. The moment you kissed the other underboss for the last time roamed around in your head and you were not sure if you did the right thing by rejecting her.

Your foot kickstarted the engine automatically after you had sat down. The sound of the engine made the fog in your head clear out and all you could think of was feeling the air dragging on your clothes, while you were driving somewhere. A smile spread on your face and you were looking forward to finally leaving the cage for a few hours.