Trust Me

Chapter 44

Jason

The force of Olivia's body smashed into mine before I could finish slipping my feet into the old, black work boots I wore every shift. My heartbeat out of my chest as I stabilized myself from falling backward onto the mattress. One palm pressed against the cool gray satin bedding and the other firmly on the small of her back.

As I gazed up and examined the broad smile on her face, my shock turned to confusion. Not even ten minutes ago, she woke up crying and insisted on locking herself in the bathroom in a state of hysteria. I couldn't hold my grimace for long as I stared back up into the warmest, brown eyes I'd ever known. They were swollen and puffy from crying all night...and morning. But they looked so joyful once more. Her long, dark hair framed her heart-shaped face so perfectly as it began falling from the bun she'd put it in to sleep. Even at five in the morning with tear-stained cheeks and a baggy college T-shirt with a wine stain on it, she's so perfect.

"Well, it's nice to see you smiling, sweetheart," I half smiled, wrapping both my arms around her waist and pressing a kiss to her forehead, "You scared the hell out of me though," I added with a chuckle.

Olivia draped her arms around my neck, running her nails through the hair at the base of it, sending shivers down my spine. The pleasant kind of shivers that made my entire body feel warm.

"Guess what?" She whispered, chewing on her bottom lip adorably.

Everything she did was adorable to me. Each of her little habits or insecurities that bugged her about herself made me fall more and more in love with her.

"What, baby girl?" I asked, peering up into her giddy eyes.

She sucked in a deep breath before blurting out, "My period came! Like just now while I was in the bathroom."

I never knew it was possible to feel relief and disappointment in the same breath, but that's precisely what I felt as I let out a large puff of air that I didn't even know I was holding in. Disappointment because a part of me lit up at the idea of becoming a father. Something I never thought I'd want to become because I thought I'd fuck it up just like my own had. Falling in love with Olivia and having her help heal me changed that.

Relief because I knew in my heart that it wasn't the right time. Olivia's still in school, and we both have career goals to reach. Even more important than that, although I've healed a lot from my childhood, I still have a ways to go, and mentally, I'd love to be in a better place before having a kid. I want to give my kids everything I didn't have. They won't grow up with the same void I can never fill. Although that time is not now, it will come. When it does, I'll be ready.

"No crotch goblins just yet, huh?" I joked, watching as Olivia's expression turned to one of judgment as she laughed.

"Jason, crotch goblins?"

"Yes, crotch goblins...because you know, they have to come out of your crotch," I explained, not being able to contain my laughter as she playfully swatted my chest.

"Well, not always, Jase. I might need a c-section if we have a huge baby because I mean...look at you," she chortled, motioning toward my 6 '4 frame, "Your offspring might tear me to shreds."

I fake gasped, watching as Olivia rolled her eyes, "So you're calling me fat?"

"No, I'm calling you a giant," She corrected before leaning in slowly, too slowly, "But you're my giant," She whispered. Her warm breath teasing fanned across the sensitive skin of my lips.

I wanted the gap between her soft pink lips and mine to be nonexistent already. I wanted to taste her and feel the warmth that has yet to fail, filling my body with a sense of home whenever we kissed. The hoping didn't last long, and the gap finally closed. Our lips caressed each other, and our tongues were exploring the other's mouth as if we hadn't done this countless times.