The Guy I Married

♠ 44 - The look of blood lust

•Curtis•

...Earth to Earth...
...Ashes to Ashes...
...Dust to Dust...

Father's funeral was completed and the guests were leaving. It was a small service with family, friends and crying people, a lot of them. I watched from an adjacent angle, my mother was being comforted by some group of women I recognized from my childhood. Emily, my sister was with her fiancé, she found solace in his arms. while Seth was on wheelchair, placed under a tree near the funeral ground.

Then Shawn? He was absent as usual.

I occasionally looked around for any sign of him. But there wasn't any and somehow, I was grateful for that.

I know I blamed him for father's death and I told him I never wanted to see him again, but at the same time, I needed him. I wanted to forgive him but I couldn't. Yet, this distance I set between us was eating me up. I needed his soft kisses and his warm touch. I just wanted dive into his arms and let go. But how could I possibly do that? How can I possibly find peace in the arms of the man that took it all away from me? How?

...How can something so good and yet so bad?...

"Are you Mrs. Lannister?" I heard a voice from behind and spun to see two men dressed in long black coats and black hats to match the occasion. One was significantly taller, more built and might I add, both looked very expensive.

"Y-yes. I-i am." I replied in shaky tone. Not sure if being addressed as Shawn's wife again was what made me tongue tied or the glances I noticed the taller guy had been giving me during the funeral.

"Our deepest condolences," He stretched out his hand for shake, which I took in a subtle motion.

"Thank you." There was a bit of silence before I spoke again. "You gentlemen knew my Dad?"

"No, actually. We're here for you." The other guy spoke and brought out an envelope from his pocket and handed it to me. "We sent you an offer which you declined about 2 months ago. The vice president would really like you to reconsider your decision. Your expertise is much needed."

"The vice president," The taller one spoke. "added an extra bonus to the pay along with benefits for your family. Please reach out to us, as soon as possible. Our condolences once more."

I stared at the envelope in my hands. The presidency seal like the one on the email I received 2 months ago was on it. I had declined this offer back then because... Shawn said so.

Fuck him.

•~

"You want us to go away? No!"

"This is a very good offer, Mom. Think about it. Seth gets to be treated in one of the best hospitals in the country. A new home. A safer environment. A better job and a better life for everyone."

"Your father's memories are in this place, this house! You want me to leave it? I-i can't... N-no. No!" She shuffled in her chair while desperately trying to keep herself calm.

Over the past weeks, I watched my mother's health deteriorate. Dad's passing took a toll on her. She lost her appetite. She started talking to herself or his pictures. She was having short term memories and often forgot things. She hadn't gotten over the shock and I completely understood. I, myself hadn't gotten over it as well. I constantly told myself I was strong. If I broke down in tears, who's shoulders would they cry on, who's shoulders would they lean on. I had to be strong for her and my siblings.

I kneeled next to her where she sat. "I'm not saying you should forget about Dad. I mean we have to move on and be better." I wiped the tears that trailed down her cheeks. "Dad's memories are in our hearts. Wherever we go, his memories are always with us."