prom date | wroetoshaw

Falling Back Into Old Habits

MIXED POV'S THIS CHAPTER SO IT'LL BE A LONGER ONE ENJOY! 

LILY. 

In the entirety of my friendship with Harry, I had never hated him. Despite countless arguments, some even lasting a few weeks, I'd never hated him.

But right now, even the thought of him made the pit of my stomach lurch, and tears would brim my eyes.

After the shoot and the subsequent conversation with Isabella that had rendered me speechless, I had gone home and slept it off. I turned my phone off, not wanting to deal with anyone asking why I wasn't replying, or what was the matter.

I slept right through until the next morning, totalling eighteen hours of me absolutely conked out.

I think I needed it. When I woke up the next morning, I had formed a brief plan in my head.

The first step was to text Josh and Kon. I decided to text Josh first, considering he was the guy who gave me the job.

Hi Josh, something important has come up and I won't be able to attend any upcoming shoots for the next two weeks. I'm really sorry to spring this on you last minute. I will send Kon all of the footage on my camera like usual.

Next I text Kon, typing out a similar message, but slightly less informative.

Hi Kon, already let Josh know but I won't be working for the next two weeks. I'll send through the footage I have for pre-existing videos.

Then, I turned my phone off again. Not before I noticed two messages from Simon and Freya, but I really couldn't deal with it right now.

Even when I was young, my reaction to something going wrong or upsetting me was to run away. Whether that meant literally or metaphorically, I always did so. So it came as no surprise when I found myself wanting to pack my bags and just drive somewhere to get away.

And I did just that. Throwing some clothes into an old suitcase I found under my bed, I threw together all of the essentials I'd need for two weeks away from home. In no less than half an hour, I was all packed, ready to just - leave. I think it would do me good, getting away for a bit. Some time to clear my head, and think everything through. 

Because what she'd said to me yesterday had unravelled everything I thought I'd known for the last month or so. My head was majorly fucked. 

After shutting all of the curtains, and binning the minimal amount of fresh food I had in my fridge, I was ready to leave. I didn't want to waste any time, i wanted to get away without a fuss from anyone. 

I knew that by now Josh and Kon had probably read my message, which meant that Freya had probably been told, which meant it was only a matter of time until Simon would. And maybe even Harry. He was the last person I wanted to know. 

I left my the elevator, telling the receptionist I'd be gone for a few weeks, and if anyone asked after me to tell them I'd be back soon. Wheeling my suitcase across the cold concrete, I made my way to my car, shoving my suitcase in the boot, and climbing into the front seat. I had no idea where I wanted to go, but I knew that I just needed to get out of London. 

Guernsey and Warwick crossed my mind, but I didn't want to go somewhere obvious. Or somewhere where they'd look. I didn't want to be found. 

And so I started driving. First, to the local petrol station, where I filled my whole tank up. Usually, I kept it around half, but I didn't know how far I'd have to travel, so I took measures to be safe. On the plus side, the Sidemen paid me well and I was fortunate enough to be in a position where I could fill it up so much.