prom date | wroetoshaw

Glimpse of Us

Glimpse of Us - Joji

"No! Are you kidding me?" I exclaimed, my whole body freezing as I soaked up his words. They didn't even sound real, they sounded full of delusion.

"Lily, drop it. I mean it. It's done, you're not changing my mind. Let's just pack and forget about it," he says calmly, walking past me back to his bag, which already looks like he's finished packing.

"Harry, you're not thinking this through! You can't just - you can't just leave them! You - that's -"

"What else can I do? There's not much I can realistically do from Guernsey. Every shoot is in person, there'd be more questions if I was still a part of the group but not in any video...this way it gives the fans some clarity and closure. There's nothing else to be said about it," he says firmly.

"You can't leave, Harry. They're your best friends -"

"And you're my family," he interrupts, which renders me speechless.

I concentrate on the boy in front of me. I feel completely guilty for his decision. It's not one I like, and definitely not one I support, but I'm torn between speaking my mind and not wanting to argue. Arguing with him makes me feel so uneasy, and creates a horrible feeling in the pit of my stomach. I truly hate it.

"Lily?" He repeats, and this time I brave making eye contact with him. His stare makes me feel weak, and I know that he knows he could win any argument with his eyes.

"Don't look at me like that," I say, and it comes out sounding a lot more pathetic than I intended.

"Like what?" He asks.

"Just - you can't leave, Harry. You aren't thinking this through properly."

"I'm not thinking it through properly? What does that even mean? I'm thinking about it too much! I've been thinking about it non stop, Lily. I want to be over here with you. To start a life with you. There's nothing I want more...this feels like the only right choice for me," he explains, not breaking eye contact once.

"I don't want you to regret your decision, Harry. This isn't something you can change your mind about easily. Once you're out, and the whole world knows, it's going to be difficult. You know that, right?"

"Of course I know that."

"And people are going to wonder why, Harry. They're not just going to accept it. Nothing is ever that easy. You know that too?" I ask, still unable to comprehend literally any of this.

"That's why I'm going to talk to Vicky about all of this. She can help with it all," he continues, but he sounds more unsure of himself now. Maybe I hit a nerve.

"I'm going to go for a walk," I say, getting up and closing my bag, which was now fully packed.

"I'll come with you?" He asked, looking up to meet my eyes again.

"I'd like to go by myself, if that's okay," I said, my words spoken softly, but firm enough for Harry to not ask again.

"Okay. Let's say we'll leave here in an hour and a half?" He asks, and I nod my head silently, leaving my room and going down the stairs, slipping out the door silently.

It's a nice day outside. The sun is shining, and for a second the sound of the birds chirping releases any worries or anxieties from my mind. I feel at one with nature, and allow the sun to shine on my skin as I walk out of the driveway.

I head down the road for a few metres before turning left down a dirt path, one I know to take me towards the cliffs if I follow it far enough.

I hum to myself - there was no tune in particular, but just the sound of the innocent notes mixing together made me feel comforted.