prom date | wroetoshaw

Take It As It Comes

"I want the first flight back. I don't want to be on this shitty fucking island anymore," I whisper, curled up in bed next to Harry.

"That's okay. I can book us a flight back this evening. Do you want me to come back to Warwick? I don't want to leave you by yourself," he offers, which reminds me that I was supposed to be moving to London in just a few weeks time.

"I'm moving to London next week. I was going to surprise you, and just turn up at your doorstep one day, but there's no point now," I say sadly, wishing I could've been more excited about it, but I just wasn't.

"Wait, what? Are you being serious? You're moving to London?" He asks, his eyes not leaving mine now.

"Completely serious. Quit my job last week, or the week before - I can't remember. I got a new job down in London, although I don't know if I'm even up to doing it anymore. I don't feel up to doing anything," I sniff, welling up with tears again. "This is so unfair. I haven't even been able to visit Mum's grave like we were supposed to yesterday," I tell him through sobs.

"Do you want to go today. It might -"

"No. I can't. I want to go home. I can't stay here anymore. What am I even supposed to do with the house? I guess it's mine now, that's what it said in the will. She's left everything to me. All of my Mum's things, too. They're all mine, now," I say, everything feeling to real to understand right now. I had no idea what was going on, but I hated every second of it.

"Let's just take this one step at a time. Let's get you home, focus on moving to London, and I can help you sort all of the stuff back here. We can put all of their things into storage, here or in London, I can pay for it. You don't have to worry about any of it," he says in a hushed tone, wiping some of the tears away off from my face.

"Alright," I agree, sniffing. "Are you sure coming back to Warwick with me won't fuck up your job in London? You don't have to -"

"As if I'd put my job over you. Of course I'll come back to Warwick with you. We'll be back home by the end of today - that's a promise," he says firmly, still stroking my hair, now looking on his phone, probably for a last minute flight.

I don't have it in me to even check my phone, let alone even pick it up. I don't think seeing messages to my Nan would help, it would just send me into another breakdown, and I'd had enough of them to last me a lifetime.

"Found one that departs in five hours. How's that?" He asks, and a spark of hope flies through my body. I don't want to be on this island ever again.

"Perfect. Let's get on it, please. I'll start packing," I say, sitting up in the bed, forcing Harry to shuffle over a little bit.

"Alright, you stay in here and pack, I'll sort downstairs out. Text me if you need anything, I'll check back in half an hour," he reassures me, still focused on his phone, giving me another hug goodbye, leaving me alone for the first time since yesterday's traumatic events.

I manage to pick myself up and out of bed, taking out all of the clothes I'd hung up in the wardrobe just days earlier, taking my time folding them all up neatly into my suitcase. I'd keep them in there until the big move to London, so it made sense to pack it nice and tidy.

Then, I started packing things from my bathroom, adding in extra essentials I'd left from last time. I had no idea when or if I was ever coming back, so a safe bet was taking it all with me anyway.

Packing didn't take long - I was quick and got everything done incredibly quickly. Harry was still downstairs, and I didn't want to bother him so I finally braved going on my phone. I had a few texts from some people, and it quickly became very obvious that they knew about my Nan.

Guernsey was a small island, so generally when your neighbours saw an ambulance arrive at your house and leave with a stretcher covered with a white sheet, it spread like wildfire.

Mel

Oh baby!!!!! I am so so sorry. I am here for whatever you need. Call me or text me when you have a chance. I love you xxxxx

Anna

Lily! I just heard, my heart is broken for you! If you need anything let me know x

Jamie

Lil, just heard the news. I'm so sorry mate, I'm thinking of you x

Max

As Anna said, we are here for you if you need anything. So so sorry x

Harry

You're sleeping but just in case you wake up and I'm gone, I went and put flowers on your Mum's grave. They look beautiful. I'll be back soon

My heart fluttered at the last one - he knew how much I loved putting flowers at my Mum's grave, and him doing it for me felt strangely -

Romantic?

My Nan's final words flashed up in my mind again. Was I being blind? Or was I reading too much into it? She'd never given me a bad piece of advice before. All of her words had always rung true, about literally everything I'd talked to her about. What was my reason for not believing her now?

Maybe I didn't want it to be true. Maybe I was scared that if I faced this supposed reality, I'd realise that it was true, and I was in love with him. And when, inevitably, he wasn't in love with me back, our friendship would crash and burn. I really wouldn't be able to survive without him too.

So I pushed down every single thought about possibly being in love with my best friend, in order to protect myself. I put up barriers, and invented new ways in which I could prove to myself it was strictly platonical feelings of admiration I felt for him. I was positive I could do that.

"Lily?" His voice snapped me out of his head, and there he stood, leaning in the doorway.

"Hmm?"

"You finished packing? I've done downstairs, it's all clean," he told me, wiping his hands together, walking towards me.

"We can go out for a walk if you'd like. Some fresh air might do you some good?" He suggested, and it probably would've been a good idea considering I'd been in bed for an entire day.

"No, I don't really feel up to it. You should go out, though. You've been trapped in here with me being miserable. You deserve the fresh air," I encouraged, making a point out of it.

He shook his head, adamant that he didn't need it. "No, I'll stay here with you. I'm enjoying your company, plus you're completely allowed to be miserable at the moment. No one's judging you."

"I'm judging me. I'm a complete mess," I say, trying to make a joke out of it, but I really was a mess. I couldn't go ten minutes without remembering yesterdays events and bursting into tears.

"Lily, I swear to God stop acting like you have no right to be upset...you've been through hell and back recently, just let yourself grieve. Sometimes you're too strong, and that means you're too hard on yourself. You're not being fair," he sighed, looking at me like I was a lost puppy.

"When did you become a therapist?" I tease, and I swear I see the tiniest crack in his frown, his eyes twinkling a little.

"Last month. You may now call me Dr Lewis," he retaliated, continuing the ongoing joke.

"Hello, Dr. What would you prescribe for a life that won't stop falling apart?" I ask, holding my thumbs up and cracking a grin at his stunned face.

"I would say lots of TV, food, and the company of your best friend. Says here in your file that he is a great guy, and he's also -"

"This is not turning into a praise yourself competition!" I screech, mock outrage taking over my features.

"Not my fault I'm great," he shrugs, but it turns into a relaxed grin, then pulling me in for another hug. "Seriously though - you'll be alright. We'll chill for the next week or so, and then you'll be down in London. Let's take it as it comes, yeah?"

"Yeah," I agree, feeling instantly comforted as his arms were around me. "Take it as it comes."