"it's more than a feeling of deja vu. things are repeating. but this time ... i know how to stop them."
[ sequel to THE MANDELA EFFECT ]
au
ft. jason patric, the corey's, etc
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"HE'S DATING JULIA ROBERTS?" i exclaim.
"it says it was 2 days before her wedding that she got cold feet and ran off to ireland with jason." feldman reads from the magazine.
"there's no way i can compete with julia fucking roberts." i shake my head, the twinge in my stomach becoming more uncomfortable each second.
the four of us are in my bedroom trying to process the news and of course, we also took aunt maggie up on her offer of vodka.
"why ireland?" haim asks. "also, why're you here, christian?"
"we have the same dentist." christian shrugs, pointing to feldman who's standing beside him.
"what a traitor!" feldman yells, his eyes not leaving the magazine pages as he continues to read.
i whine as tears start to form in my eyes and then i'm running straight for my bathroom.
i slam the door closed and before i know it, all of my anger and anxiety is coming straight out of me and into the toilet.
i flush and then gather an absurd amount of toothpaste on my toothbrush before scrubbing the hell out of my mouth.
my mascara is smeared under my eyes and i feel just as shitty as i look.
once i head back into my room, i see the three of them haven't moved from their positions. feldman is still reading through the magazine.
"christian." i reach my hand out, implying i want the bottle of alcohol he's holding.
he hands it to me and i twist off the cap, flicking it to the floor and then take a few large swigs.
"what's happening to her?" christian's eyes are wide as he stares at me.
"she's spiraling." haim says in a nonchalant tone, "give her 10 minutes or so 'till the alcohol hits. she'll be better then."
i gasp, taking in air for the first time in a few seconds. my throat burns of vodka.
"you good?" haim raises his eyebrows while taking the bottle from me.
"no." i speak truthfully. "i mean, he hasn't acted like my boyfriend in so long for obvious reasons, but ... this is just absurd! what am i gonna do?"
"kennedy, maybe half of this is just because you're worried you'll soon be dick-deprived." christian says, causing all of our eyes to look at him. "i mean, you know how girls get."
"dick-deprived." i mumble, "sounds like something i'd say."
"i've been telling her that!" feldman tosses the magazine onto my dresser, "without jason she's a mess!"
"when have you ever told me that?" i sniffle, looking over to feldman.
he shrugs his shoulders, "i've tried sending it to you telepathically a few times."
