His Beautiful Pain [BoyxBoy]

Chapter 4 - The worst has happened.

I know Y'all have waiting so bad for this and here it is. Chapter 4 of "His Beautiful Pain" Is finally here and ready for you guys to keep exploring through Jay's little world.
If you guys see any mistakes, mistypes, or anything wrong with grammar, please let me know. I want to make you all feel happy when you read this book. I love you all.

I hope you enjoy reading this and please don't forget to vote for my story and leave a comment saying what do you think about this chapter. I'm trying not to mess up a single line... XOXO ❤️✨

☁️ - Picture of Jay

-Jay's POV

After I cried and sobbed for hours on the kitchen floor, I finally got the strength to get up and head upstairs to my room locking the door behind. Trying not to think about what just happened.

I sat on my bed slowly while looking outside my window trying to distract myself and think of something else. I slowly closed my eyes trying to sleep and the sleep overtook me. I slept for like 5 hours and I woke up to find that that the darkness is all around already.

I woke up and sat on the bed. Looking outside at the beautiful night sky, I could see the moon illuminating half of the room. Have you ever been so bored, bored? Makes no sense huh? That's cause I'm bored.

The memories of Stig's reaction this morning kept coming back in my head and reminding me that my only brother can't accept the fact that I was gay, and I absolutely couldn't live with that picture hanging around my head.

I started thinking what would happen If I just suddenly disappear from this world (died). "Stig is going to be free from having to see me everyday. He is going to be a little sad not having me around but it's for the best If he doesn't see this faggot ass of a brother." I said all that to myself before starting to cry again.

The thought of being dead sounded quite nice. Sleeping in a cozy coffin under the soft dirt, never to wake up again. I wouldn't even have to dream. I could be free. Free from this life and this existence. I made mental lists of all the problems with my appearance and personality.

I didn't want to fit in and I didn't want to stand out. I just wanted to evaporate into nothingness and leave this life behind. I finally made my decision and took my phone to call Stig. He didn't pick up the calls, I assumed he didn't even wanted to talk to me so I texted him Instead.

In the first 5 of my texts I kept apologizing to Stig for telling him my truth and making him uncomfortable. The sixth text said that "Stig, I'm really sorry and I can't take it that my only brother can't accept me being gay" and the seventh one said "I love you so much and I always want you to be happy, I'm sorry for what I did but I couldn't think of anything else. I love you" then I turned off my phone.

I got out of bed slowly and went to my reading table, I opened the drawer and took out a small box that had sharp objects like needles, pins and razors.

I pulled out a razor then put the box back and closed the drawer. I sat down on the floor staring at the razor and without a second thought I pulled up my sleeve and started cutting my wrist without hesitation.

I cut deep through my skin and the blood started to spill all over my hand and all over me. I heard the main door open and I assumed it was Stig coming back from work. He started shouting my name, calling me but I didn't want to answer.