Conflicted (Flip Zimmerman)

54. Always

*A/N: I'm sorry for the delay, I took a much longer break than expected. I hope y'all enjoy. Aesthetic for the chapter is pictured above
-Ren <3*

The past few weeks were overwhelming. You had to handle the lectures on your own since Gideon and Reid were called back to the team. Nick had officially decided to stay at Quantico and teach at the academy, which meant the team was in need of a genius. You had also received a date to join the team on the field within the next month, so you weren't sure who'd take over for the lectures. You scrambled around the office they lent you trying to organize the materials. Today was your last day handling lectures. You had assumed that the next month you'd be preparing and retraining for the field.

While you taught lectures you were assigned to meet with the Bureau's therapist once a week. It was an excruciating two hours. Having someone just sit and take notes at your vulnerable state was uncomfortable. Dr. Thomas Knight was very kind and he was aware this wasn't going to be easy for you. The first session you sat in uncomfortable silence, he attempted to break the silence with small talk but you were too uncomfortable to engage in an actual conversation with a stranger. It wasn't til the second session he started to ask about your childhood, it felt a bit easier. After each session it felt as if you ripped off the band aid but then you'd falter when he'd say 'see you next week'. How many fucking band aids were you going to have to rip off?

A knock on the door stopped your internal panic. "Have a moment to talk?" Gideon asked lingering at the doorway.

"Yes of course." You smiled at him. "I'm sorry I'm just preparing everything for whoever's taking over. I'd hate to ruin the momentum of the class because of it."

Gideon smiled and nodded. "I'm sure I'll be able to manage without your guidance." He looked at the files you had organized on the desk.

"You're taking over?" You asked him with your brows furrowed. "But you're gonna be on the field with us?"

Gideon shook his head. "No, I'm not." He sat at the edge of the desk. "I decided to leave the team. Of course Strauss fought me on the decision but we managed to come to an agreement that I continue teaching here to the recruits."

"But you built this team. You and Dad did." You frowned at him.

"That's the thing with building a legacy, we have the next generation to take over for us." He patted your shoulder. "I'm getting too old for this, and with Freya expecting, I wanna be there and make up for what I missed when she was younger. It all just feels right."

"Of course. That child is going to be incredibly lucky to have a grandfather like you. Maybe they'll actually listen to you and be quiet while you bird watch." You teased, causing him to chuckle.

"You girls had no patience." He tsked. You couldn't help but laugh with him. As the laughter died down, Gideon reached inside his coat pocket. "There is something I need to give you." He pulled out a tiny black notebook. "My time at the BAU is done but I still have unfinished business with these victims."

"You're giving me your notebook?" You flipped the pages and eyed him.

"You and your dad are the only ones I trust with this. It's useless in my possession, and knowing that might be enough to drive me mad." Gideon admitted to you.

"It will be in great care." You assured him.

"With that being said, the last piece of advice I'll leave you with is know when to walk away. Don't let yourself get too sucked into these cases. It's not good mentally or for the people around you." Gideon smiled. You eyed him suspiciously as he spoke. "Salem I can read you like a book..."