My Lifeline - Jaywon Shortstories

Mistake

Jungwon was used to giving orders.

He was the one waking others up, giving them their schedules and so on. He was the leader after all. Many thought it was burdensome and that Jungwon had been given too much responsibility.

Yes, it was a lot. Yes, Jungwon was tired. And yes, it was sweet of them to worry about him.

Thing was... Jungwon liked it.

He liked being the one to command.
He loved having control over others.
He adored being obeyed.

However, he was very careful not to show this side of himself. Firstly, he was conscious about being a bit overwhelmed by power, and he didn't want to loose himself in it. Then, he didn't want others to notice it.

He wanted to endlessly play the game in which the members weren't even aware that he was the only one calling the shots. They should never know he was a puppet master.

On the contrary, Jungwon was delighted in being the comfy leader everyone believed in. They trusted him, which meant when he demanded something, they just did it. They never questioned him.

That lasted for more than a year.

However, something shattered Jungwon's perfect castle that one day.

Sunghoon, Niki, Jay and Jungwon were doing a live, and at some point towards the end, Jungwon and Sunghoon started talking at the same time.
Obviously, both of them wanted to let the other speak first, which irritated Jay.

"Please go first" said Jungwon, trying to be diligent.
"You first, leader Yang" replied Sunghoon.

"Our members are so considerate" commented Jay, fake smiling at the camera.

Jungwon smiled at Jay, he was indeed very sweet. He couldn't help but admiring Jay's features. The contrast between his sharp jaw lines and the sweetness of his gaze was beyond his understanding. Well, the sweet heart eyes were usually only reserved for Jungwon. Jay also easily displayed dead serious eyes, especially when he was mad. The members kept saying that Jay screamed a lot in the dorm, but Jungwon didn't agree.

"Hurry up" commanded Jay with a deeper voice, looking straight into Jungwon's eyes, sending a shiver through his whole body.

Jungwon was smiling at first, still thinking about the fact that Jay never screamed at him. He hadn't yet processed what Jay had just said.

However, his authoritative "hurry up" automatically replayed in Jungwon's mind.
In fact, it was even on repeat.

Everything was exhilarating.
His deep voice.
His sharp gaze.
His slight tilt of the head.

These two words had been enough to make all of Jungwon's fantasies, in which he dominated Jay, crumble. The rush he always felt imagining himself on top of Jay disappeared, making place for unexpected new content.
In a instant, his mind created a thousand scenarios in which Jay would talk to him like that in private.

In some, Jay would tied Jungwon's hands on the bed. In others, he just held him still while his deep voice whispered forbidden things in Jungwon's ears.

In all cases, Jungwon just wanted Jay to tower him, and overall do whatever he wanted of him. This was a determined and almost possessive version of Jay, ready to make himself understood whatever the cost. Jungwon could picture him in a sophisticated outfit, bossing everyone around him with that sharp tone of his.

The leader had zoned out for a second, just enough for him to forget he was live. Soon enough he was biting his lower lips, excited about this new side of Jay flourishing in his mind.

~

On the other side of the room, Jay had noticed Jungwon's vacant eyes, and he knew what it meant. Jungwon was lost in his thoughts. In a desperate attempt to bring Jungwon back, Jay did tiny jumps on his chair.
At that moment, he saw Jungwon biting his lip and his brain left his body.

Jay was mesmerized by Jungwon, but sadly the latter stopped biting his lip after only a second, as if he had suddenly remembered he was in public.

~

Jay walked out the room in which they had done the vlive. He needed a moment alone.

I mostly need to calm down.

His legs brought him to the restroom. He washed his hands, trying to focus on the cold water running through his fingers instead of the unholy images of Jungwon he had in mind since the lip biting.

He had almost chased all of the thoughts when the restroom door opened, obviously revealing Jungwon casually walking in.

"Hey Jay" he said, approaching the latter.
"Hey" replied Jay, really trying to focus on the water rinsing the soap bubbles on his hands.
"You know" continued Jungwon, leaning close to Jay. "I've been thinking about what happened during your birthday. A lot."

Jay froze. He couldn't move his hands anymore. The only thing he could do was remembering the hidden wild kiss Jungwon and him had shared at his birthday party.

"I'd lie if I said I hadn't thought about it" replied Jay.

Jungwon got closer to him. His hand moved towards him, sending shivers down Jay's spine.
Jungwon's hand brushed against Jay's before closing the tap.

"You said it was a mistake" continued Jay, still hurt.
"Maybe I was wrong" replied Jungwon. "Maybe the mistake was to stop."

Jay slowly dried his hands, looking at Jungwon's face. His eyes were shining with desire.

Perhaps they had spent too much time together, because Jay put all the pieces together at that moment. Jungwon had kissed him after the birthday party, when Jay had given everyone tasks to do in order to clean the dorm. This afternoon, he had bit his lip after Jay had commanded them to hurry.

Maybe he likes when I take charge.

There was only one way to know.

"Maybe you could correct that mistake tonight then?" asked Jay, in the lowest and sexiest voice he could.

Last thing he saw before Jungwon kissing him against the mirror were Jungwon's teeth slightly biting his lip once more.