My Lifeline - Jaywon Shortstories

Eye on You Pt 2

The room Jungwon shared with Sunghoon, Sunoo and Niki had a window through which one could see the garden tree slightly move along the breeze. Enhypen's leader was watching a video on his bed, headphones on.
To sum up, everything was peaceful.

Until it wasn't.

Jay hadn't even knocked on the door, which he always did. Jungwon frowned as his hyung barged inside, not understanding what this was all about. He took his headphones out, silently waiting for Jay to speak first.

"Were you going to tell me?" he asked.

Jungwon sincerely had no idea what Jay was referring to, but whatever it was, it had extremely upset Jay.

"I'm sorry, tell you what?" asked Jungwon.
"About the dating" replied Jay.

Jungwon looked away.

"I wouldn't call it like that" he replied, slightly embarrassed.
"I saw it" said Jay, pinching the bridge of his nose.
"Oh, really?" asked Jungwon frowning. "I thought you would be busy at that time."

This time, Jay frowned.

"What do you mean at that time?" he asked, not understanding how it related to the dating app.
"Well, you said you saw me on my date?" asked Jungwon. "I thought all the members would be busy during it, but apparently I miscalculated."

Jay's jaw just dropped.

It wasn't just the recent shock of seeing Jungwon's eye on the dating app, but now it was him clearly admitting he had been on a date. 

He was devastated.

Heartbroken.

Lost.

"Why do you look so shocked if you saw us?" asked Jungwon.

Us...

"I meant.. I saw your profile on the dating app" explained Jay placidly.
"Uh.. I have never used a dating app" said Jungwon slowly, as he realized what had just happened.

He had just said he had been on a date out loud. In front of Jay.
Things couldn't be worse.

An uncomfortable silence spread between them, clearly highlighting the tension between the two idols.

"Let me explain" said Jungwon.
"There's no need" replied Jay instantly. "You don't owe me any explanation."
"I do feel like I do though" whispered Jungwon.

The softness of his voice caught Jay's attention. To be honest, he didn't want to hear about it. He didn't want to think about it.
But... this was Jungwon, so Jay sat on Niki's bed, in front of the leader's.

"I kinda hit it off with one of our staffs" started Jungwon.

Jay had to control himself. As soon as Jungwon had said that, an intense need of asking who, how and when burnt his lips.

"And she invited me to go out for ice cream" he finished, still not looking into Jay's eyes. "So I accepted."

There. A dagger.
Right into Jay's heart.
Slowly but surely hurting him.

He knew he had to say something now. He knew that Jungwon was allowed to go for ice cream with whoever he wanted.
However at the same time, all of this felt terribly wrong.

"How was it?" asked Jay, giving his best to maintain his voice calm. 
"I guess it was fine" replied the leader, as if this wasn't a big deal.

Silence spread between them once more. Each of them in their thoughts, trying to figure out what to say next.

"Now that I told you this, may I ask why you are upset?" asked Jungwon.
"I'm not upset" replied Jay, clearly unconvincingly.
"I think I know you enough to know that you are upset" explained the leader. "Is this just because I had a date?"
"Yes" whispered Jay, just loud enough to be heard.
"What did you want me to do?" asked Jungwon. "It was just ice cream."

Jay bit his lip. A thousand thoughts rushed through his mind.
I wanted you to say no
I wanted you to invite me
I wanted to take you out on a date

"You're right" said Jay, feeling his heart getting heavier. "You can do as you want."
"Good" confirmed Jungwon.
"Good" repeated Jay.

This was a good moment to leave. Jay couldn't stand staying here any longer. He couldn't stand knowing that Jungwon had finally decided to date, but it wasn't with him.

"You know, it was my first date, and I kinda liked it" said Jungwon, not knowing that Jay wanted to vanish.

Jay nodded, incapable of saying anything.

"She was flirty, and I think I was funny, because she laughed a lot" explained Jungwon, not noticing Jay's wounds bleeding abundantly.

"It's just a shame though" he added. "Because it would have been a lot better if I hadn't imagined I was on a date with you the whole time."

What?