My Lifeline - Jaywon Shortstories

Good Reason Part 2

"So, you still haven't given Jake an answer" said Heeseung delicately.

He knew it was an extremely sensitive subject.

"I don't want to go" simply replied Jay.
"It's been almost a year Jay" said Heeseung. "You're allowed to have fun, you know?"
"How can I, when I know he is going too?" replied Jay, placid.

Heeseung closed his eyes. He wanted to be there for Jay, however the latter didn't seem to want help.
In fact, he hadn't had any desire for anything in months.

He had spoken to Jungwon three times since the breakup. The first two had been relatively close to the breakup, mostly to organize a meeting and give each other's stuff back. The most recent one, however, had broken Jay into pieces.

As they broke up, Jungwon had asked him if they could remain friends. Jay, wanting to protect Jungwon, had said that it would be better to put some distance between them at first, but they could revisit the idea later. The both of them had agreed on that.

However, two months ago, Jay had contacted Jungwon once more. He had been honest with him. He missed Jungwon's friendship, their talks, their laughs.
Of course, Jay still felt in love with his ex, but he hadn't mentioned that. Having Jungwon back in his life, even only as a friend would already be a huge step.

Unfortunately, Jungwon had shut him down. Not in an impolite way. In fact, he had written his message with compassion. Nonetheless Jay's heart was hurt.

Jay kept thinking how Jungwon had asked to remain friends, and how now that time had passed, he didn't want anything to do with him anymore.

Nothing had hurt Jay like this before. Not even the breakup. For obvious reasons, he had kept hope that someday Jungwon would be back in his life.

Only now he realized how wrong he was. Jungwon didn't want to be back in his life. The only thing Jay could do was respecting Jungwon's wish.

"Well, you can stay with me" said Heeseung. "No need to stop living because of someone."

Don't you understand that he IS my life?

Jay sighed. He did want to see Jake
"Okay" he finally gave in.

He took his phone out of his pocket and texted the birthday boy that he would be there for his party that night.
Jake replied instantly, extremely happy to see Jay as well.

~

Jay took a deep breath. Hopefully, Sunghoon and Jake's apartment was filled with Jake's friends. Jay recognized some of the faces, but he didn't bothered chatting with everyone.

He knew he shouldn't be doing that, but he couldn't help looking for Jungwon in the crowd.
The plan was to know were he was so that he could avoid him.

"He's there" said Heeseung. "But I still think this is a stupid plan."

Jay didn't answer. His eyes followed Heeseung's directions until they found him.

Now, Jay hadn't seen Jungwon in months. He had imagined him countless times in his mind though. He thought he would be ready, but it turned out he was wrong.

Jungwon was simply the most beautiful person he had ever seen. Apparently, he had decided to play around and had colored his hair dark blue, which suited him extremely well. He was talking to someone that Jay couldn't see, but of whom he felt jealous. Jungwon was smiling at said person, showing his perfect dimple.

Even though Jay had been looking at his ex for only two seconds, his heart had found the time to skip more than a beat.

"Let's get something to drink" said Heeseung, seeing how affected Jay was.
"Okay" replied Jay, feeling that it would help him greatly.

They ended up meeting Sunoo near the alcohol bar.

"Hee, Jay!" he greeted happily. "It's been so long!"
"How have you been?" asked Heeseung.

Jay didn't know what he was feeling. He liked Sunoo a lot, really, however he was Jungwon's roommate and they hadn't seen each other since the breakup.

"I've been good" he replied. "Just started my masters degree, so you know, a lot of work."
"Congrats" replied Heeseung.

Jay didn't really listen to them. Everything was sort of muffled. He poured himself a drink, not even choosing an alcohol he liked.

"How about you?" asked Sunoo.

Jay felt elbows in his ribs and realized he was being talked to.

"You know" replied Jay. "Same old, same old."

Jay didn't want to stay any longer. He quickly excused himself to the bathroom. He needed some time alone.

He navigated through drunk dancing people, looking for the toilet. He soon found it, but had to wait as it was currently being used.

Jay chugged his drink. If he had to stay more in here, he would need to lower his inhibitions.

After a few seconds he heard the familiar flush and the water tap being opened and closed. The door handle moved downwards and Jay got ready to go inside.

That was until he saw who was coming out of it.

"Jay?" asked a clear and melodious voice in front of him.

Maybe it was the alcohol, maybe it was just Jay, but suddenly, none of the voices, sounds nor music around them could be heard. The only thing Jay's ears could process was Jungwon's voice.

"Jungwon" he whispered, feeling more lost than ever.

Before the latter could say anything, one of his friends grabbed him and took him far away from Jay.

After being frozen for a second, Jay rushed inside the toilet.

~

Trapped.

Jay felt trapped.

He allowed himself time to calm down. The plan had changed. The new plan was quite simpler: run away.

He texted Heeseung that he would be going and Jake that he was sorry. He just needed to escape all of this.

When he felt ready, Jay opened up the door once more, ready to run for the exit.

Unfortunately, Jungwon was standing in front of said door.