My Lifeline - Jaywon Shortstories

Blockbuster

Have you ever felt like one mistake could ruin your whole life?

Cause, let's face it: this fear of failure is so overwhelming.

Especially when you're in love with Yang Jungwon.

I swear to all the gods that might exist that this boy makes me insane. One day he clings on to me like I'm the only person in the whole world that matters. The very next day, he's almost ignoring me.
One week he's all sweet and cute, making jokes about "us", while the next, he says he would never like to be in a relationship.

Okay, I get it, he's the leader. I know it is a lot. I'm not trying to deny it. Especially because Jungwon does his job so perfectly.

But does he have to give me mixed messages?

I don't think so...

But do I have to fall for it every time?

Of course I do.

I mean... it's Jungwon, right?

Plus it's not like I have someone else to distract me. Ever since that boy was out of money to take his taxi, he had been the sole distraction of my life, empowering me, overwhelming me, overall making me feel alive.
So, I guess that's why I don't want to give up.

Jay sighed. He had no idea what was going on around him. He had spaced out.
He obviously remembered he was in the movie theater, watching the latest superhero blockbuster.
He also remembered that he was with the members, and that Jungwon was sitting by his side.

Which is why he had zoned out.
The movie hadn't even started that he had felt this weird tingling in the stomach, the usual symptom of wanting to make a move but being afraid of doing it at the same time.

It could have been so easy.
Jay could simply reach for Jungwon's hand, take it in his and squeeze it gently.
He could simply look at Jungwon and smile at him because he was his lifeline.
He could simply touch Jungwon's boot with his shoe, grasping his attention doing so.

Or he could simply lay down in his seat until his head found its rightful place on Jungwon's shoulder.

Possibilities were infinite weren't they?

But so are the consequences.

Indeed it is easy to dream about a positive response. It is a lot more difficult to imagine a more probable outcome.

So Jay shut down his brain, his feelings, his everything. He didn't want to risk it.

If he didn't do anything, he'd stay safe forever.

However, the young man had already overthought during the first half of the movie, which meant two things: he wasn't able to understand anything going on on the screen right now and he hadn't much time left to enjoy being next to Jungwon.

"Want some?"

Jay woke up from his thoughts and looked at his left. Jungwon had whispered while showing him his bucket of popcorn.

Jay nodded, unable to say no to his beautiful smile.

"Thanks" he whispered back.

It wasn't much, but the way Jungwon had looked at him for a second was enough to make Jay's brain go wild.
As he was busy trying to calm himself, he felt a pressure on the left side of his knee.

A quick glance confirmed the reason of his heart attack. Jungwon's knee was touching his.

Okay calm down.
CALM DOWN.

Is this on purpose?

No cause he already touched my thighs several times on shows or at home.

But...

Jay's mind was going a thousand kilometers per hour. Should he do something? Should he ignore it?

Was this something Jungwon had planned?
Was it just Jungwon wanting to stretch his legs a bit?

"You think too much" Jungwon whispered, slightly leaning towards Jay.

Lowrd have mercy

"Not at all" whispered Jay, trying to know what to do.
"Can I?" asked Jungwon, looking at Jay's soda.

The latter nodded, a bit surprised by the sudden change of subject. He watched Jungwon reach for the drink, however he didn't stop to take it. Instead, his hand continued his course further.

Until it finally reached Jay's hand.

Jungwon gently squeezed it, looking at the screen, probably internally enjoying how he made Jay feel this instant.

IS THIS HAPPENING?

"Jungwon?" whispered Jay, in shock.
"Hum?" hummed the latter, still looking at the screen, side smiling at Jay's expense.

"Why?" asked Jay, still not letting himself get false hope up.
"You said I could" explained Jungwon, finally looking at Jay, smiling plainly and adorably.

Jay smiled back.

The small sparkle he had fought to keep small had just exploded in his heart. This was happening!
Jungwon and him were holding hands.

And Jungwon had initiated it.

"Does this mean" started Jay, trying to figure it out.

"You two!" whispered Niki on the other side of Jungwon. "Please shut up or go get a room."

"Don't worry, we'll do that next" said Jungwon, as Jay's jaw dropped.