Blurred Lens

Two Options

A cauldron of different emotions was bubbling under you skin. Anger, disappointment, sadness.

'You could have let me know!' You croaked, flailing your arms up pathetically.

'Y/N - I know you won't believe me... but I had no idea the wedding was happening in a week,' Jungkook assured, leaning forward on the desk and resting his arms on his thighs.

You looked up and scoffed out a laugh. 'You're seriously trying to tell me the groom didn't know his own wedding was going on?'

'I know it sounds ridiculous... But no one tells me anything!' Jungkook stared at you, seeing how unconvinced you were. 'Truly, Bong-Cha and I's parents are organizing the whole thing because we don't want anything to do with it. I haven't asked because... well I've kind of been pretending that the whole thing didn't exist.'

'What? So they never once told you the date of the actual event?' You mocked.

'Well, no. They told me months ago, but I didn't write it down and I was in denial.'

'Jungkook!' you exclaimed, not caring about his unawareness of the actual wedding. It was the marriage that bothered you. 'What about me? What about us? What the hell are we doing together?!'

'I -'

'Why do you keep sweeping it under the rug and not talk to me about it?' You interrupted, all the questions compressed in your stomach ripping out. 'Why did you even ask me to be your girlfriend when you have a fiancee? What are you going to do about all this?! Are you just going to leave me heartbroken, like my dad said?' An uncontrolled sob emerged from your lips, everything rising to the surface was massively overwhelming. You felt so mad at yourself and at Jungkook that you were only finally talking about this within one week of the deadline.

Jungkook's head shot up, surprised at your emotion. He hopped of the desk and ran to the arm of your chair. He wrapped an arm around your back and wiped a few tears that had escaped down your cheeks. You kept your eyes glued to your lap.

'I'm so sorry. So, incredibly sorry,' Jungkook whispered, pulling your hair back and out of your face and sighing. 'I never talk about it because I hate thinking about it. I was selfish wanting to spend more time with you and - I asked you to be my girlfriend because I'd fallen in love with you.'

He paused and you shut your eyes, for once you were determined for your mind to lead, not your heart.

'I know I have two options - I get married and lead a miserable life because I have no control and... you won't be in it,' Jungkook mumbled, his voice breaking. 'But I'll have my family and my job, which I've worked so hard at and is my greatest pride.'

You looked up while gnawing your cheek and convinced yourself to remain silent until he'd finished speaking.

'Or, I call off the wedding and get to properly be with you and - have a future together, hopefully... I know how happy that would make me, but, I'd be disowned and unemployed. I'm so scared that I'd... blame you or put pressure on us and even we'd fall apart.' He frowned and met your eyes, you noticed his were a little blurred and filled with confusion.

You resisted the urge to comfort him, knowing tough love was going to have to be used.

'Well, you have to make up your mind - soon,' you said, 'Can I just ask something?'

Jungkook nodded.

'Why are you trying so hard to stay in your parents life? I know they have some good memories with you, but now they're sacrificing your happiness for the benefit of this business.'

Jungkook squinted his eyes at you and shook his head.

'You don't get it.'

'Get what?'

'They're my family, Y/N. You don't just get rid of your family,' Jungkook replied, passively aggressively. 'In the long run, they are doing what's best for me because the marriage would benefit the business, which simultaneously benefits me... You wouldn't understand because your family life is so simple and uncomplicated.'

You stood up, feeling this conversation had warn you down. 'Right, well let me know when you decide what to do.'

Jungkook turned around, surprised. 'You're leaving? What about your photography?'

'You have enough on your plate, we'll do that another day.'

'But -' Jungkook protested, you knew a lot was still in the air.

'I'll see you soon.'

You walked out of the office and raised a hand to the receptionist on the way out. A group of people in suits had gathered in the lobby, you walked past them and out of the glass door to the, much needed, fresh air.

You sat down on a nearby bench and swept a finger over your brow. Well, at least you'd got the questions that had been bugging you off your chest. You didn't receive any solid answers, but it was a small step in the direction of peace.

You hadn't spoken to your parents since the disaster of last night. You wanted to call them and explain, but knew you couldn't actually do that since, honestly, you weren't sure why you got involved with Jungkook to begin with.

You'd never regretted it; getting to know Jungkook. Not once. But everything would have been so simple if you hadn't.

You decided you weren't in the mood to face a lecture again, so you crafted a quick message to both your parents.

I'm sorry dinner was ruined, Jungkook's trying to sort the whole situation. There's a lot of details unsaid, so please don't judge me. I love you both.

You felt the need to explain how Jungkook wasn't truly cheating because he didn't have a romantic relationship with Bong-Cha. But you were tired of the whole circumstance and just wanted to go home. So you stood up and walked back to your flat, hoping to grab a pastry from Mrs Kim first.

You tried to think of anything else on your walk home, but Jungkook's choices were cutting your mind. Of course you wanted what was best for him. Him being miserable and have to start over, without his family, sounded brutal. But selfishly you had a small hope he'd drop everything for you.

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