Blurred Lens

Spotlight

You stared coldly at Jungkook, demanding to hear the answer you already knew. He brought his hands up to bury his face amidst them. You noticed his palms had a slight tremble, but you felt no pity.

'You lied to me,' you whispered, feeling stupidity and grief flung onto your shoulders.

Jungkook removed his hands to reveal watery eyes and a pained expression while the bags under his eyes drooped down.

'I - I'm so sorry, Y/N.' He'd said these words so often to you they felt meaningless.

'You lied, you told me that you wanted to be with me,' tears were trying to push forward, but anger was restraining them.

'I was going to say no to my parents - I was. But then -' Jungkook stuttered into silence once again. You glared at the pathetic man that was standing in front of you. The liar, the traitor.

'But what? The money you'd lose, the promotion you'd chuck into the wind seemed more important?!' You raised your voice.

'It's my family, Y/N! It's my whole life! I've known you - a couple months?!' Jungkook matched your tone, a tear from each eye escaping his cell. 'How on earth could you expect me to drop everything for you?!'

His words stuck a dagger into your heart. The truth of the situation entering your mind, but the anger was far more powerful.

'Then why did you lead me on? This whole time, saying you loved me - another lie?! All along you've known in the back of your head where this would end - but your selfishness drove you on?!'

'I didn't know! I was so deep in denial and distractions!'

'So that's all I was - another distraction?' you hissed, this statement finally leading tears to the front of the pupil and down your cheeks.

Jungkook's damp face softened ever so slightly, but his high pitch remained. 'How could you even think that? I'm saying I wasn't thinking straight and ended up falling in love with you!'

'I was just one huge mistake, wasn't I?'

You both fell into silence, his damp cheeks reflected the sun rays. You'd been a little toy in Jungkook's life that he got too attached to, ruining the plan.

'Y/N,' Jungkook voice turned gentle, yet desperate. 'I can't lose you.'

'What?!' You let out a burst of shocked laughter. This contradicted everything he had been saying - and doing. 'You can't have everything, Jungkook! You've decided and consequently buried whatever we were.'

Jungkook opened his mouth to reply, cut off by a yell from his dad who was crossing the road. The row of people outside the church had vanished and Ha-Jun stormed in your direction. You caught Jungkook rubbing the tears off his face.

'Jungkook, Y/N! What on god's name are you doing standing here! We've been looking for you both!' His face was red. 'Jungkook, get down the aisle - now! What are you playing at?! Y/N, follow him and get pictures of the service!'

You furrowed your eyebrows in confusion - then remembered. He'd asked you to be the wedding photographer. With everything else going on, this had flown completely out of your mind.

Ha-Jun observed your tear-stained face. 'You look a state - well at least you won't be in the photos... come on!' He grabbed you and Jungkook roughly by the arm and dragged you with him to the church, leaving you with no time to refuse and escape the scene.

You were man-handled over the road, then Ha-Jun let go, allowing time for you and Jungkook to compose yourselves before entering the holy building. You wiped your cheeks, but Jungkook made no effort to tidy himself. He stood still, you felt his gaze on you but you ignored it.

Ha-Jun gave you directions on where to sit, but you were only half-listening. He nudged you both in through the doors, Jungkook first, then he followed behind you.

The double doors opened and the crowd of people, for there was a huge crowd, turned to stare at the groom. You hid behind him, feeling the bright sunlight travelling through the painted windows and hitting your body. You rustled your camera out to remove the lens cap, trying to show the audience what your role was. Your legs trembled down the aisle, as you heard Ha-Jun whispering apologies to others on the way down.

Jungkook split off to stand at the arch and you turned to crouch in the front of the ceremony, as instructed. You felt an ache as you went your separate ways, knowing you wouldn't speak to him again as a single man. If you ever spoke to him again, that was. 

The romantic music and the beautiful decorations was all too much. You knew professionalism should have come first, but it was so difficult when your heart was shedding inside your chest.

You managed to snap a few shots of the room and the guest's exited faces with your shaky hand as you tried to contain your bitterness.

Another dart was pushed into your stomach as the hall suddenly fell silent and the wedding march begun to play from the pianist, sitting opposite you. You felt sick as the doors once again flung open, revealing the bride.

Bong-Cha started elegantly flowing down the aisle. She had a middle-aged man and women guiding her by linking to her arms, you guessed they were her parents. You got her in frame and felt jealousy prick. But even in your sour mindset, you could not deny how ethereal she looked. Her pearl, mermaid-cut dress clung to her curves with the mesh, flower pattern making her look like an angel plucked from a blooming garden. You managed some pictures, with the lighting that had previously hit you, giving her a spotlight.

You then turned to take the classic photo of the nervous groom awaiting his bride. Usually men cried, sometimes they'd be biting their lips anxiously, but they always were in a trance as they saw their loved one nearing them. 

But Jungkook was a first. He stood with his palms gathered in front of him, his eyes darting between Bong-Cha and his parents, who were caught in the enchantment of the bride. He looked devastated, the light from the windows only accentuating his colourless face. You swallowed the bile which had gathered in your throat to take the photo as quickly as possible, not worrying about the angle.

Bong-Cha gathered next to Jungkook, she had a flower clip placed into her beach waves which matched the napkin in Jungkook's pocket. Her parents kissed her cheeks and joined the seating.

The song came to an end as the priest cleared his throat.

'Welcome all to this glorious event.'

The service went on with you purposefully blocking out what was being said. A ringing in your ear grew louder as you directed your camera at the couple. Without realizing, you found yourself focusing on Jungkook. He hadn't looked at you since entering the church and you caught him swallowing hard at several occasions, his eyes pointing at the priest, glimpsing at Bong-Cha every so often.

Your eyes welled up as you looked at the man who was a stencil of your mind, being placed in each dream, awake or asleep. The man who'd sung to your heart and traced areas of your soul only he could unlock. The man who'd betrayed you.

Unconsciously, your arms lowered your camera as you sat there, watching him. Water covered your pupils, creating a fog over the image you were witnessing. You felt so naive as memories washed up. You'd got carried away in his charm and pushed down reality. This whole time you'd been watching him through a blurred lens. He had never been a lovable knight who'd lifted you onto his white horse. He'd just been a boy who wanted to pause life for a second, uncaring of anyone else in this period.

You were jolted back to reality as the priest turned to the boy.

'Jeon Jungkook, do you take Kim Bong-Cha to be your lawfully wedded wife, to have and to hold, from this day forward, for better, for worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness and in health, until death do you part?'

Your breath got caught in your throat and your eyes never left his lips. He cleared his throat and briefly closed his eyes before opening his mouth to answer.

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