Blurred Lens

Glisten

Your legs shook viciously as you walked up to the familiar cafe. The 'open' sign was still lopsided and the draping lily's welcomed you back. 

Your walls had been building back up on the walk over as you'd been thinking of what you wished to say to Jungkook. No plan of action had risen, but you trusted yourself to find peace.

A rush of warm air hit you as the door opened and closed with a gentle chime. It was less busy, with a few couples and small family's chatting quietly among themselves. 

A tall waiter greeted you and gestured towards an empty table at the side. You explained you were meeting someone and turned around, knowing Jungkook would be at the table you'd claimed all those months ago.

Of course, there he was sitting. On the same seat that you got to know him and the first connection was made. The same seat in which he was just another client. 

His hair was laying limp over his forehead, trying to disguise his withered face and tired eyes. He looked even worse and your heart begged to reach out for him. He did not have the same glow of the first time you sat at the table together.

You took a deep breath and walked over, making sure to not pull your chair tightly under the table so your legs wouldn't make contact with his.

He looked up at you and smiled weakly, his eyes being the only source of a remote glisten.

'Hi Y/N, thank you so much for... talking to me,' his voice was quiet. He sat taller in your presence. He was wearing a dark grey hoodie with no accessories visible and the drawstrings drooped down his chest.

You nodded, trying to find your buried voice. But it remained covered.

Jungkook's doe eyes scanned your face and he continued, 'I am so sorry, and I know that doesn't even begin to -'

'Jungkook we've done this,' you interrupted, shocked by the strength of your vocals. But you'd had enough of him wasting your time. 'Look, I'm glad you organised this because I just want to tell you that... I understand your decision, I really do. You're right, I can't expect you to ruin your life for me.'

You paused to swallow your bitterness and sorrow which was trying to be heard.

'I don't like how you led me on, but I'll get over it. I...' You weren't sure where to go from this point. You glanced up and saw Jungkook biting his chapped bottom lip nervously.

Silence washed between your bodies in your thought. You felt there was so much to say, yet after all your planning the words still didn't tie themselves together.

He cleared his throat, 'I don't want...' He stopped and looked desperately at you. You felt the weakness knock you so you stood up abruptly.

He jolted and looked up. 'Where are you going?' His wide eyes pleaded you to return to your seat. You'd only sat down a second ago so your legs shivered in shock.

'Maybe under different circumstances we would have...' You refused to finish your sentence. 

Your heart pounded in your chest, begging you not to move. But your mind pierced your temple, telling you to go. Jungkook's hand reached out to yours and you flinched, stepping back. He pulled his arm back quickly with miserable eyes, noticing your reaction.

'Please... Please find happiness, Jungkook,' You whispered, turning around and staggering out the door.

Silent tears drizzled down as the gloomy sky hit you. You collapsed onto the wall of a building, clutching your chest. No sound exited your body, only your heart accepting defeat and the tears she shed.

You looked up at the dark clouds which shielded the city. Your eyes caught a large billboard on the way down which showed a little girl promoting a new camera. She looked so full of promise and life, contradicting the brick of your heart.

Now here you are. Leaning against that same wall, looking at that same billboard, unable to rip your gaze away.

A new promotion has been pulled over it, after all this time. 

Meeting your eyes on the large poster is Jungkook. His eyes shine in the studio light and he has a huge grin smeared over his cheeks, which you hope isn't artificial. He let his hair grow out a little, covering half of his ears. Small smile lines are cut into crevices and he's grown into a mature, happy man.

His daughter, the heir, is hanging around his shoulders and he's clutching her joyfully. She has two ponytails covering some of Jungkook's hair and also meets your stare. The slogan of the company is smeared under the content faces.

Jungkook is one of the largest businessmen in the country, his face is everywhere. He keeps his personal life very private, but is spotted often with his daughter and sometimes with Bong-Cha. Each photo you catch in the media is of him looking cheerful, as you wished he would.

When you walk around the city, there are constant reminders of him. They're hard to ignore when his face is almost a landmark of Seoul. It used to bring you incredible pain, but with time you came to feel gratitude that you can constantly reflect on your time with the businessman. The end was torture, but you didn't want to forget all the good he had gifted you. 

Each time his face met yours, you would repeat the story of how you met the businessman in the wrong lifetime.

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