What I Never Knew I Needed

Ch. 6 - Broken

Broken - Seether / Amy Lee

'Cause I'm broken when I'm open. And I don't feel like I am strong enough"

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I woke up and laid in bed staring at the ceiling and wondering where Kevin was. He wasn't beside me. His side of the bed actually looked untouched. I turned my head to the side and saw Kevin's shirt that I threw across the room last night lying on the floor in a heap. Then, the painful events of last night flooded my mind and I had to force my tears to go the hell away. Seeing one t-shirt almost made me lose it again because I knew what it represented. That t-shirt crumbled on the group symbolized my marriage. What once gave me comfort, now a painful reminder.

I sat up and mentally thanked the good Lord above that it was a Saturday and I didn't have to put on a brave face for my students. They would be able to tell something was wrong right away. They knew me pretty damn well and I loved them for it, but it made it impossible to hide any emotion from them.

I rolled out of bed, and threw on some shorts and made my way out into the living room / kitchen area. I saw a blanket half draped on the couch, half laying on the floor, and a ruffled pillow on one end. That must be where he spent his night. However, he was nowhere to be found. This apartment wasn't big, so unless he was hiding in the damn air vent, he was gone. Then, I noticed a note on the coffee table in the living room. Picking it up, I read what it said:

Hey Y/N,

I think its best if we take a small break. I know shit went down last night but... yeah. I don't think either one of us are budging any time soon. I'll be at Jake's place if you need me. Please don't hesitate to call me if you feel like you want to. I hope we can figure this out.

-Kev

I can't believe that he just asked for a break from our marriage, the day after our anniversary, on a fucking note. I wanted to tear the thing up and have a physical representation of how I was feeling on the inside, but I didn't because I wanted Taylor to see it.

Realizing I was alone, I pushed the pain away from seeing the couch and the note and made my way to the kitchen to make some coffee. There were very few things that could immediately lift my spirits, even fractionally, but coffee was one of them. I waited for the drink to brew and stared at my reflection in the microwave door. Damn, I looked like shit. My eyes were puffy and I had tear stained cheeks. I made a mental note to wash my face when I was done wallowing in my sad morning.

I put the cream and sugar in, just how I liked it, and sprayed some whipped cream on top with a sprinkle of cinnamon. Why? Because I fucking deserved it that's why.

I sat on the couch with my hot drink and scrolled through the channels. We didn't really have a lot to choose from except for the sports channels because that's all Kevin wanted to watch. He said he didn't want to pay for more because we wouldn't watch them... even though I repeatedly told him I would. Oh, well. 'Maybe we've been a little broken for a while' I thought to myself.

Suddenly, I was pulled from my mental thoughts by the sound of my phone buzzing on the coffee table. I looked at my screen and saw Taylor was face-timing me. Shit, she's going to see how I look and ask questions. Sighing I realize she's going to know sooner or later so I just answer the call.

Forcing a small, fake smile, I let out a weak "Hey"

"He— Damn you look terrible." She replies oh, so lovingly

Chuckling I respond "Yeah I know. I've kind of had a shitty twelve hours so give me a break, will ya?"

"Okay, okay fine. But by the looks of you, this is a conversation we need to have in person so here's what's gonna happen. You're going to take a shower when we hang up, I'm going to get us some breakfast from that bagel place you love so much, and I'm coming over with all of my things for the day and the night. Oh, yeah, I'm staying the night so don't fight me on that. Got it?"

"Yes ma'am"

"And then, once you're fed and clean, you're going to tell me what the hell happened last night. Every detail."

"Aye, aye captain," I said as I gave her a playful salute.

"Good now hang up and Ill see you in thirty-five to forty minutes"

"Okay, thanks, Tay."

"Don't mention it. Now get moving." she demanded as she hung up.

I laughed a little to myself at my best friend. When she was determined about something, it was best not to stand in her way. She was someone who you definitely wanted on your side. She would go to the ends of the earth for the people she loved and could make life very hard for you if she didn't like you. She will straight up cut a bitch.

I did as I was told and took my shower, washed my face, and put on some clothes. This was going to be a long talk so I was wearing comfy sweatpants and a hoodie. I also picked up Kevin's shirt from the ground and put it in the laundry pile. Small victories.

When I walked out feeling slightly proud of myself for doing that, I heard the door handle jiggle and Taylor walked in holding a bag of breakfast bagels in one arm and a huge overnight bag in the other.

"Perfect timing," I said. Then, noticing the size of her bag, I added "Tay, how much shit did you bring? I thought you were just staying for the night?"

"Yeah, well, that was the original plan but I didn't know how long you would need me. I've got a week's worth of stuff in here." She said, patting the bag and dropping it by the couch, giving me a proud smile. My heart warmed at the sentiment.

"Thanks Tay. You're the best."

"I know and don't you forget it. Now let's eat before this gets cold and then you've got a story to tell me."

Scoffing, I looked at her "Understatement of the year" I said.

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A/N: Tay Bae-Bae to the rescue!

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