What I Never Knew I Needed

Ch. 7 - We Found Love

We Found Love - Rihanna

"Yellow diamonds in the light. Now we're standing side by side"

--

"He did not say all that shit" Taylor looked at me flabbergasted. "And on your anniversary?!"

"Yep, every last word. And I woke up to this sweet note this morning." I leaned over and grabbed the note that fell on the floor and handed it to her. I watched as she read it. Her thumb gently passed over the spot of smudged ink where a tear had fallen on it. I knew she knew it was mine but thankfully she didn't say anything about it. There was just a silent understanding. I guess that's what happens when you've known someone for so long. You know each other as well as you know yourself.

She got done reading the note and slowly looked up at me in disbelief "This bitch asked for a break over a note that you had to wake up to?! Oh, hell nah! Where the fuck is this 'Jake's place' he said he's at cause I'm about to drag his ass to hell, then back to his mama's house so he can explain everything to her himself, then back the fuck to hell!"

I busted out laughing at her comment and explained to her that Jake is his coworker who also works in the marketing department with him.

"Gotcha. No wonder you wanted to go out tonight."

"Yeah, I think I need it. It's been a while."

Taylor paused then looked at me hesitantly.

"What is it, Tay? What do you want to say?" 

"Oh, nothing. Just wondering if the 'Big D' is on the horizon for you"

I choked on my spit when she said that. The big what?!

"What the hell is the 'Big D'? My gutter brain mind is going straight to something dirty and I don't think that's what you meant."

"You know what I meant, Y/N." she said carefully while maintaining eye contact. I looked at her with a blank face because I still didn't know what she was talking about. Sighing, she spoke in a softer voice "You know, divorce?"

Ohhhhhh right. That "D" word. To be honest, after the shit show that was last night, I'd be lying if I said the thought didn't cross my mind. But, am I overreacting? Would I really throw my marriage away over one argument? The thought rattles in my head. I mean, those topics were pretty fucking big and important. We didn't even come up with any solutions or plans to move forwards. Maybe we can look into couples therapy? Then, I get the feeling that maybe I don't want to put the energy in to fix what he broke. Yes, HE, cause I really don't think I did anything. He lied to me about two things for almost two years each. I have never lied to him like that. I did say that I had been having doubts for a while. Maybe this is just the start of the downfall of something that needed to end.

"I'm not sure yet, Tay. We haven't even talked since last night. And to be honest, I don't think I want to. Not right now anyways. I just want to have fun tonight" I said putting on my best smile even though my heart and my head were battling each other.

"Then fun we shall have!"

I put on my favorite comfort movie - Avengers: Age of Ultron of course - and we watched movies for the rest of the day until it was time to start getting ready.

—

We pulled up in the Uber outside of the club. I could hear the bass of the music thumping from out here and it made me excited to get in. It has been so long since I've been out. Kevin didn't really like the noise or the crowds so we didn't go often. I'm starting to realize all the things I stopped doing because of him... interesting.