"Letting it go" was the best decision I've made since that day. It's been a year, and I'm better than ever. I still miss him with every last inch of my being, but I realized that it's never happening. Shit happens, and you adapt to change.
We played a few shows here and there, not traveling too far from San Diego. It was our first time by ourselves. We didn't have any assistance from Pierce The Veil, and that had its ups and downs.
But mainly, I was getting better. I never believed in recovery. I still don't, not until he stops imvading my dreams and thoughts. I've seen it done before. Though I doubt I'll ever fully get over him. He'll always be my first love. I'm just sad that I thought we actually had a chance at forever.
"Alex, there's a customer." My new boss said.
I got fired from my old job. It had been a tough day, and my attitude sky rocketed. A customer started running their mouth, so I said some bad things.
"How are you today?" I asked sweetly. Typically, I'm in a good mood.
He mumbled a response, and continued to scan the menu. I hate that. If I ask you a question, especially to be nice, and you don't answer? There'll be hell to pay depending on my mood.
"I'll take a chocolate smoothie." He said simply.
Wow, all that time looking at the menu and just a smoothie. Way to disappoint. Also, why did this guy look so familiar.
"Hey, are you Alex? Like the one from high school?"
"Yes, why?" I asked.
"Hey man! It's Tyler." Oh, that's why.
I greeted him and we shared small talk. Mainly on what he's missed. He was a big friend of Sam. That's actually how we met.
I gave him a receipt and began making the drink. Through the large window out front, I noticed a Hooter's bus pulling up. Apparently Tyler did as well.
One bleach blonde sat in front of him. I could see her giving him a seductive look. Talk about a whore. Another brunette joind the two.
A loud beep rang through my ears. God, I hate this machine.
I finished up his smoothie, and set it in front of him. Not too long after, I noticed he had left and dropped a couple of bills on the table.
"Alex! Could you do me a favor?" Ashley asked. He was one of my coworkers, and not too shabby either. He was in a band with some other guys as well. I didn't dig too deep into it.
"Depends." I said, pushing myself up on the counter.
Lucky us, the boss man left after I took Tyler's order. Ashley, Jenna, and I were to close up. I was fine with that. The two have become decent acquaintances with me.
"There's a dude fucking some chicks in the bathroom. I, for one, am not breaking that up. It's all on you." He was way too feminine for his own good.
I rolled my eyes, slid off the counter, and busted open the bathroom doors. People fear me around here. I'm the enforcer. It was Tyler and the girls from earlier. I don't believe in the statement 'never judge a book by its cover'.
"Break it up guys." I stated.
Tyler threw the girls their clothes as he dressed himself. The sight of naked humans doesn't bother me as much as it should. Sometimes it's a good thing too. This isn't the first time someone has been having sex in here. Honestly, it was disgusting. I refused to clean in here.
"Tell Sam I said hey." He said, buttoning up the last of his shirt.
I nodded, and went back to get my stuff up. It's been a long day, and it's ten till closing anyways. I'm sure Ashley and Jenna wouldn't mind shutting down early.
"Hey, guys." I said, getting their attention. "Ready to shut it down?"
"That's a stupid question." Jenna said with a laugh. Honestly, it was.
We already had everything away, so all there was really left to do is get our stuff and lock up. They let me go ahead as they closed.
----
Everybody was on the beach, but I wasn't really feeling it. Work takes it out of you.
I ran upstairs for my lyric book. I haven't wrote anything lately, and I'm in the mood.
Opening my drawer, I found everything besides my book. One thing in particular that I didn't necessarily want to see. It was my promise ring.
That's odd, because I left it at Jay's house. I couldn't handle the metal chilling my finger to the bone, an ever present reminder of what I fucked up. Something I've become good at over the years.
I picked the black band up, and slipped it on my finger. It still fit like the day he gave it to me.
A broken smile found its way to my face. The words he said that day were seared into my mind. He said he'd never leave, but he did. That brought up something he said to me a few years back. Promises were made to be broken.
