If your 23 worked, ignore this. But many people's didn't.
A full nights sleep felt good. Especially one that held good intentions in the dreams. There was only one thing I still feared. Ending it with Tony. Not that I was planning on jumping right back in with Jay, but still.
"I still don't think it's a good idea." Sam said skeptically.
"I don't know anymore." I mumbled.
In all honesty, I had no clue as to what I saw in the future. I'd like to be with him, but I don't want him to leave again. I've changed my ways. Never would I ever do something like that again.
He's here begging for forgiveness, and I'm the reason he left. Seems off, don't it?
"I'm going to go talk to him." I told her.
She mumbled a response and hung up the phone. I typed in the hotel he was staying in onto my GPS, and followed the twists and turns.
Fear gnawed at my insides. What did I even plan on saying? What if he's changed his mind. All I can do is give him time.
Shortly, I was in front of a small hotel. He was staying in some room, 182 I think.
I knocked at the door. My stomach was doing flips. What am I so afraid of? The past? Possibly.
"Ye- Hey."
"Hi." I said, shyly.
He held the door open. "Come in."
The room looked a whole lot nicer on that inside than you'd expect. It was clean. I mean, really clean. Outside it looked like it'd be a low budget run down place. I guess I'd learn to never judge a book by its cover.
"So," He said, awkwardly.
"I just, wanted to talk." I regret this. So much.
"You and me both." He mumbled.
I wrung my hands nervously. Every possible bad thing that could happen was running through my mind. My thoughts aren't always supportive.
"Why did you do it?" I blurted. Instantly, I cursed myself. It had been a question I asked myself for a year and a half.
"Do what?" He seemed genuinely confused.
"Leave. You never let me explain."
He took a deep breath, and ran his hands through his hair, tugging on the ends. It's a nervous habit he'd developed.
"I needed a reason to leave. For a while, I wanted to take a break. Believe me, I didn't intend on staying away that long though."
It broke my heart to hear him say that. He neeeded a reason to leave, and I gave him one. A damn good one at that.
"Oh." I said, disappoint filling my voice.
"No, no. No. You're thinking wrong." He said, scooting closer to me. "I fell into a rut. I felt useless. I felt like a bad boyfriend. And I guess it broke the dam when you kissed him."
He laced his fingers with mine. Our hands fit together perfectly. If there was a such a thing as soul mates, I wouldn't hesitate to say he's mine. No two people fit so well together.
"I thought that maybe I wasn't good enough." He finished.
That hurt.
"Jay, if anything, I was the one not good enough. You deserve someone so much prettier, smarter, funnier." I said.
"You're all of that, Alex." He sounded like he actually meant it. "You're my world. You still are."
"Jay," I whispered.
Tears threatened to fall. He's so beautiful and perfect and just. God he frustrates me.
As I was going to say something, his lips captured mine. I was paralyzed at the moment. His warm, soft lips. For two years, I missed the feeling of them on mine. Everyday, I craved it more. It was like a drug to me. He was my heroine.
He pulled away hesitantly, and rested his forehead on mine.
"Does that make up for all those days you felt someone else's lips?"
It didn't. It didn't at all. But I wasn't about to say that.
"Will you give me a second chance?" He asked, hopeful.
"I don't know." I said.
Honestly, I didn't want to rush into things. I wanted this to ride out how I wanted in the first place. You can't build a house on a broken foundry. Much like you can't build a relationship on broken trust.
