I woke up that morning with a killer headache. The last thing I remember is Andrew and I talking about the band. Andrew. I noticed a warm body tangled with mine.
"Fuck." I cursed under my breath. I'm going to hope we just slept. But I can't get that lucky, can I?
Slowly, trying not to wake him, I slipped out from under his arms. Our clothes were strewn all across the floor. My stomach was doing flips.
I picked up all of my stuff and threw a pair of his basketball shorts on along with my tank top. How am I supposed to explain this to Jay. The sensible part of me was begging to not tell. But I couldn't do that- Could I?
I pulled a receipt out of my bag I managed to remember and scribbled a note on the back.
This was a one time thing.. I'm sorry.
-Alex
Quietly, I left the building. I felt dirty all over. Drew has never been anything more than a brother figure. If this is what happens when I'm drunk, I'm never drinking again.
----
"Alex, where the hell were you?" Adia said, noticing I was on the bus.
We all had a hotel, but I didn't feel like going back there yet. I needed time to think and hopefully remember. I'm not sure if we had sex or not. But I never get that lucky.
"I was at Drew's." I said, numbly.
"Why?"
"I got drunk."
"Did you do anything?" She questioned.
I didn't know how to answer that. Silence clawed at me like broken glass. I'd love to tell her I didn't. But I've always been bad at lying.
"Alex." She pushed.
"I don't know." I mumbled. "I was so fucking drunk. Did I cheat on Jay?" I asked quietly. Tears began to brim my eyes.
"Talk to Andrew. Ask him what happened." She stated, as if it were the easiest thing in the world.
"But what if we did. I can't live with that. I know what it feels like to be cheated on. I can't put him through that and you know it."
"But what if you didn't?" She had a good argument. "Do you want to live thinking you did but in all reality, you never touched one another?"
I didn't have a counterargument for that. Maybe I should call. Hopefully we didn't do anything. I'm still faithful even if I'm drunk. At least I pray I am.
"Okay." I pulled out my phone and dialed his number. The number I had back in high school.
"Hello?" He said, his voice groggy.
I had to hold back a chuckle. He's such a dork his number didn't even change.
"I think we need to talk."
"Oh, Alex. Hi."
"Did we- you know." I got straight to the point.
"Sex? No." I let out a sigh of relief. "But we did kiss. Only once. When we got to my place, you started whining about a guy named Jay, who I learned to be your boyfriend." He laughed.
"What'd I say?" My cheeks heated up.
"How you don't deserve him and how you always push people away."
He isn't wrong. I do feel as if he deserves better. And apparently I get emotional when I'm drunk.
"Okay. Thanks Drew." I said quickly, and hung up.
I need to thank whatever god exists for that one.
Four weeks later.
Back home- well, Canada- we're sitting outside around a fire.
Summer only lasts about four months up here.
I sat in Jay's lap, snuggled to his chest. We had a furry blanket wrapped around us. The rest of the girls were sitting with their men in a fashon similar to mine and Jay's.
Tony was sitting with his girlfriend on a log next to the fire. Jaime and Mike were whispering under the tree a few yards away. I can guess what about.
A little birdy told me Vic planned something tonight. At first I was against it. That is, until he explained it to me.
He's in love with Sam. Sam is in love with him. I know they're moving way too fast for my liking, but he's a good guy. He's proved to me how loyal he is.
As if on cue, Vic stood and cleared his throat.
"I-" He stopped and took a deep breath. He's nervous. You can tell. "I have an announcement."
By now, he had everyone's attention.
"Five months ago, I met this amazing girl in a gas station. I almost knocked her best friend out." He laughed, looking in my direction. "But, ever since then, I've felt nothing but attraction for this girl." He turned towards Sam, and got down on one knee.
"Sammy, will you marry me?"
Everyone was awhing. I think a tear escaped my eye.
"Yes." She nodded, full blown bawling.
Cheers erupted around us. Mike pulled them both into a hug, congratulating them.
"That'll be us one day." Jay whispered into my ear.
I hope it is. I've never wished for something so hard in my life before. Jay's never been anything but faithful and honest with me. I don't understand why he's settled for a girl like me. I don't think I ever will. But all I can do is thank god he hasn't left me yet.
---
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I won't be updating for a while, seeing as my phone will me deactivated at midnight. I'll try to update whenever I can get to Wi-Fi. And to those who have been reading Something Like Fire or What Am I To You?, they're on hold. I apologize for any inconvenience.
-Sam x
