Fear engulfed me, sending my thoughts into overdrive.
What if I am pregnant? What if Jay leaves me mid-pregnancy? Oh my god I'm gonna have a dadless child.
"Babe, chill." Jay placed his hand on my knee. That's easier said than done.
After what felt like forever, we pulled into a pharmacy. Jay said he'd go by himself. Great, left alone with my mind.
Maybe a child won't be so bad. Jay hasn't shown signs of wanting to leave, which is a good thing. There's no way I could do this on my own.
He walked back out with a black plastic bag. My heart lept into my throat. This is real. This is happening.
"I got two. They're different brands. Just so, you know." He said, handing me the bag.
I can't handle a baby. I can barely handle the girls.
"You're not going to leave me, are you?" I asked him.
He looked at me like I was insane. "Lexi, no."
That little bit of reassurance at least calmed me just a bit. Hopefully I have his word for it.
We made it home faster than it felt on the way there. Jay left me in the bathroom to do what I had to do.
Both tests were sitting on the countertop. Right now, it's just a waiting game.
I've run through every possible bad thing that could happen. Not much room left for the reassuring thoughts. That left my stomach queasy.
"Still waiting?" Jay appeared behind me, wrapping his arms around my waist.
I nodded, and leant into his embrace. His arms felt like home. Every one else I was with felt foreign. If you've ever been homesick, that's what it felt like without him. All I can do is hope he feels the same. If he ends up backing out, I'd be lost. I can't take care of a baby by myself. Especially in the state I'd be in coping with the loss.
Glancing down, I noticed both tests were finished.
"Jay," I whispered.
He looked past me, picking up one of the sticks.
"Baby." His grip on me tightened. "It's positive."
The breath escaped my lungs. I'm going to be a mother. I have a creature growing inside me. There's someone that's going to love me besides Jay. My knees went weak.
"I'm gonna be a mom." I mumbled.
He laughed weakly. "I'm gonna be a dad."
----
"So you're pregnant?" Sam asked, excitement evident in her voice.
"Yeah." I laughed.
Jay kissed my cheek and put his hands over my tummy. It was a small yet powerful gesture.
"Oh my wow, we're gonna be in the hospital at the same time. Maybe they'll be born at the same time." She exclaimed.
Jay and I chuckled. "Maybe." I said into the receiver.
She hung up, having to get dressed. Her and Vic were telling their parents today. I have a feeling her dad isn't going to be too fond of this.
What's my parents going to think. They don't even know Jay and I are back together. They knew the first time, and they knew he left me. My brother's still hold a grudge.
"We've gotta take classes, I need a better job. We need to set up a room for it." He was stressing.
I sat on his lap, a leg on either side. His hands found my hips naturally. It was a thing he did. My waist was like home base for his hands. I'm not complaining though.
"Calm down." I said, massaging his shoulders. He sighed in content. "We'll be fine."
"Nine months with no sex." He frowned.
"Speaking of sex, we used a condom, didn't we?" I questioned.
"I thought so." He furrowed his eyebrows in concentration. But the look was replaced with recognition. "The last time we had sex. I didn't have one with me and you said it was fine without."
"Oh. Well, it felt amazing." I said, kissing him passionately.
"And on that no sex topic, who said that eliminates everything?" I said suggestively.
"God you can't get sexier." He growled, lifting me up. I wrapped my legs around his waist as he carried up towards the bedroom.
