Games on Blazing Flames (Flames Series #1)

Chapter 39

Gone

"Why did you treat me coldly when I came back?" I asked. Nakaupo parin kami dito sa couch, nag-uusap.

"I was hurt. You left me and then you suddenly came back as if nothing happened. I was... mad at myself because despite you leaving me twice, I still want you back and you still drive me crazy. Kaya umiwas ako."

Nasaktan ako doon para sa kaniya. I was selfish. Sarili ko lang ang nakikita ko noon. Feelings ko lang ang iniisip ko noon. Alam kong nasasaktan ko siya noon pero hindi parin ako tumigil, sinaktan ko pa siya lalo.

"Sorry." I hid my face on his chest. "Did you mean what you said before, though? You said that you don't have feelings for me na," may halong kaba kong tanong.

"I didn't mean it. I was just really hurt that's why I told you those things."

"I also didn't mean everything I said back then," sabi ko nang maalala ang mga masasakit na sinabi ko sa kaniya noong pinagtatabuyan ko siya.

"I know..."

"Were you happy? Were you happy noong wala ako?"

Gusto kong malaman kung naging masaya ba siya dahil ako, hindi. Nahirapan ako noong wala siya dahil nasanay ako sa kaniya, na palaging nasa tabi ko. Masakit dahil alam kong nasaktan ko rin siya. Hinahanap-hanap ko rin siya noong umalis ako pero wala akong magawa, I needed that. Kailangan ko matutong mag-isa.

Narinig ko ang marahas niyang pagbuntong-hininga. I also felt him stiffen. Lumayo ako sa kaniya at hinarap siya. He has this pain expression I've always seen in him before. It hurt me to see him like this. I also feel guilty for causing him so much pain.

He swallowed hard while staring at me sadly. "I was not happy, Chant." He smiled painfully. "How could I? Hmm? You came into my life. You made me crazy for you, made me the happiest, the luckiest... and then, suddenly, you're not there anymore. So, tell me... how could... I?"

Yumuko ako at humikbi. "I'm sorry, Sage... I-I'm sorry," paulit-ulit kong sabi.

Hinila niya ko at niyakap. He was whispering 'it's okay' and sweet things to me. Pinatahan niya ko na parang hindi siya yung iniwan.

Nang makabawi ay nag-usap nalang kami tungkol sa shoot ko para hindi na raw ako umiyak pa. I wanted to talk more about what happened to us but he's right. May ibang araw pa naman para pag-usapan 'yon. Baka mas handa na ako non. Baka masabi ko na rin sa kaniya ang tungkol sa baby sana namin...

"I brought them food nga kanina eh. Nakonsensiya ako dahil naabala ko pa sila dahil sa inakto ko kahapon."

Hindi ko alam kung gaano na kami katagal magkausap, basta ang alam ko lang, masaya ako. Masaya ako sa ganito. Kahit na kakwentuhan ko lang siya dito sa sala, magkayakap, kuntento na ko at masaya.

"You didn't have to do that, though."

"I wanted to! Maliit na bagay lang naman 'yon. I'm earning a lot, you know..." nguso ko.

"I know, you're so famous. I thought I won't be able to touch you like this anymore," he said while caressing my hair. Dinikit ko lalo ang pisngi ko sa dibdib niya. A small smile curved on my lips when I felt his heart racing just like mine.

"Hindi naman ganoon kasikat... You know what, pinagalitan ako ni Tito Abel dahil sa inakto ko kahapon," pagpapatuloy ko sa pagkukwento ko sa kaniya tungkol sa mga nangyari kahapon at ngayong araw.

He chuckled. "Can't blame him, I was also stressed at you."

I pouted my lips and then sat straightly when the doorbell rang.