Freak Accident | SooGyu

34

-Beomgyu-

For a while now I've had two pass times.

1) getting drunk

2) being violently hungover

Neither of those are a pass time now. I have been sober for 82 hours and I've been able to do that by laying under about 6 blankets in my dark room. re runs of Cheers continue to play on my TV despite me never watching a single episode. I guess I just needed to hear something besides these thoughts.

Soobin comes to visit but I'd prefer if he didn't. I don't feel like a person right now. I just lay here and pick my skin all day. For the most part the withdrawals are gone, and thats the worst part, because now all I have is these thoughts and urges.

Don't get me wrong, withdrawals were a bitch, it had me fucked up, but at least it was something. When I'm drunk I feel fucked, when I'm hungover I feel fucked, when I'm withdrawing I feel fucked, but now? I feel nothing. I used to be able to focus on the stars spinning, or my pounding head; withdrawing I would focus on the ants biting my skin and the shadows in the corner, now the only thing I can focus on is myself.

I'm not a good person.

Currently I'm on snapchat watching everyone's stories. I barley watch any, mainly just trying to pass time- but something catches my attention. Someone posts a story of their friend chugging alcohol and I almost missed it, but in the background for 2 seconds you could see Soobin.

I don't know why this has such an effect on me, but the next thing I know I'm gripping the sides of my bathroom sink taking deep breathes.

He hasn't even replied to my message yet he's out partying? he's probably with Huening Kai..

Even thinking about them in the same room gives me so much anger and anxiety. I hate him. I hate him so fucking much and it's okay because the feeling is mutual. Yet, he's with Soobin and I'm in my restroom trying to fucking breathe

My phone starts to ring and it's embarrassing how fast I grab it, only to be disappointed because it wasn't Soobin calling, rather Hongjoong.

Ew

My lips curl up in disgust. Still, attention is something I need, doesn't matter from who, I don't care how pathetic that puts me in your eyes.

"Hey" His voice speaks first

"What"

"You busy?"

"Why?"

"Lets go to a bar, I'm bored and I miss your pretty face" ew he's pathetic

"I quit drinking"

"Since when?" I check the time

"Since 83 hours ago"

"So? just cause you're sober doesn't mean you can't come out and have fun"

I know going to a bar with Hongjoong is the worst idea ever, but at least something will happen.

...

Hongjoong and I are walking down the long strip of bars, the moon covered by clouds and the stars must have been pissed because they aren't out either. The only light source is the neon lights from the bar signs.

"You look pretty" He's looks at me but I don't look back

"Shut up" I don't look pretty. I'm in black sweats and a white wife beater. The fact that I washed my hair is a miracle.

Anyways we went into three bars but they were all too bright or annoying. Honestly I kind of just wanted to see how much bullshit I could put him through before he got pissed but he just followed like a puppy. Finally we found a chill bar with decent lighting and the music didn't completely suck.

"Do you want a drink?" He asks me, and the temptation was there, but I'm 89 hours in.

"Sober."

"Not even a water?"

"You better not do anything to it"

"You think I'm a creep?"

"I do actually"

"You're honest, and I respect that" He gets up to get the drinks.

He comes back and hands me a glass of clear liquid. I smell it to make sure it was water and once it was clear I took a gulp. He's drinking what smells like whiskey and also has 7 shots of vodka I hope.

"Mixing dark and clear gives you the shits FYI"

"Noted" he downs his drink and takes two shots back to back. I'm staring at the liquid poison and I think about how I could take all those shots right now and get fucked up. Well, probably not, my tolerance is crazy high. Thats the shitty thing about being an alcoholic. You can't take tolerance breaks because your tolerance will never go down.

"Why do you want to get sober so bad?"

"I promised my mom" I lie to him.

"How many times have you made that promise?"

"Never, actually" This was the truth. I've never promised somebody I'd get sober, mainly because no one ever asked. Not until Soobin. Hongjoong gives me a strange look.

"What?" I ask

"Things are different when you're drunk"

"How?"

"Well, the stars are out when you're drunk" He slides me a shot "One can't hurt"

It's right there in front of me. Just one can't hurt, for once he doesn't say something stupid.

Before I can even attempt to touch the shot, Hongjoong's face is bashed into the table.

It was Soobin, where did he even come from?!

Im really shocked and for a good moment I watch everything play out. He slams Hongjoongs face into the table three times, his face is bloody by the second time. The third time Soobin breaks cracks the table with his face. Then he throws Hongjoong onto the ground and it looks like he wasn't going to stop, thats when Huening Kai and Taehyun step in and starts pushing Soobin towards the exit.

Somewhere during this, Soobin grabs me and pulls me along with them.

...

"Why do you keep fucking people up! Soobin you're going to get thrown in jail one of these days!" Huening Kai yells in the passenger seat. Soobin and I took the back seat; Taehyun driving.

"Dude, are you okay? whats gotten into you lately?"

Soobin ignores them and turns to me.

"Let me smell your breath" He says in a dead tone.

"Huh?" He aggressively grabs my chin with his huge hand and pulls my mouth into his face, forcing it open. He takes a deep inhale and I punch him to let go of me. I hadn't meant to hurt him, but he was just being so aggressive and forceful that old habits naturally kick in.

Everyone freezing, and I forget how to breathe. I'm expecting him to be angry, to cuss at me.

Instead he pulls me into a hug.

"90 hours" He says.