Freak Accident | SooGyu

17

July (4 months later)

Before summer vacation ended, Yeonjun and his fraternity brothers decided to take a trip to a cabin, Taehyun and I invited as usual.

It was a whole weekend of partying. The alcohol seemed endless and I was hardly sober through my time here.

So, here I sit at the end of the dock, my legs hanging over the lake.

The sounds of the water rippling sounded better than the party happening in the cabin. Even all the way out here I could hear the loud bass.

I chug the last of my drink, some of it drips down my chin. I toss the bottle behind me and wipe the drink off my chin with my sleeve.

"Is it fun getting drunk alone?" Huening Kai sits down next to me. How is he so quiet? Or maybe I just wasn't listening.

"Yeaaaah..." I slur with a drunken smile. My head felt heavy on my shoulders that I couldn't even keep it up. The stars and moon are covered by clouds and I hate no choice but you stare at the dark water.

"Whats going on Soobin? You know you can talk to me" it hurts like hell but I made myself look at him. He wore a black muscle shirt, red swim trunks and flip flops. It must have been cold to him because he was shaking and had his knees pulled up to his chest.

I take off my sweater- struggling only slightly- and give it to him, leaving me shirtless.

"Won't you be cold?" He asks, already putting it on.

"I don't mind, that's why I came out here" for whatever reason the lake air chills at night. I like it because it reminds me of Beomgyu.

Where is he tonight? Can he see the moon? what about the stars?

I miss him.

"Oh my god, I can't sit back and act oblivious. I know something is wrong Soobin, you've been drinking irregularly for months now, and you're always spaced out. It's obvious something is hurting you-" he places his warm hands over my cheeks to make me look at him "-I'm here. Talk to me."

Maybe I was drunk, or maybe Huening Kai just has a way of making me open up.

"I-I..." it feels like theres a lump in my throat. My face gets all hot and my vision blurs with tears "I... I hate him"

I don't want to cry but I know I need to let out this sadness somehow. This hate.

"W-who?" Huening Kai looks at me with sympathy and I fucking hate it. I hate it so much that I push his hands off my face and look back down at the dark water.

"..Lance"

"I thought it had something to do with him. The anniversary of his death is approaching its totally understand why you miss him-"

"I didn't say I missed him. I said I hate him"

"Don't say that Soobin"

"Why not? It's true!" I ball my shaking hands into fists "...I hate him so much"

"Why?"

I laugh dryly "because he didn't have to do what he did.. I keep seeing his face in my dreams. His dead face.. it looked so sad.. so tired.. why? why next to me? why did he want me to find him like that?" I feel like my chest is going collapse. The tears keeps falling and they burn.

"Soobin-"

"I don't know how to love.. a-and that's why I lost him."

"Lance?"

"No"

"Soobin..." Huening Kai lifts up my chin and presses his lips against mine. I felt numb but kiss him back..

It was only a peck but I could tell it meant a lot to him.

"Let me show you what love is"

I feel so numb.

"Okay"