Freak Accident | SooGyu

36

CW
Violence.
Toxicity

This story was always meant to be dark themed
Keep in mind it is also a way for me to heal my own trauma. Reader Discretion is advised.

Summer.

Classes were over with for Soobin, so that means most days we can lay in bed together.

We always leave the windows open, I don't mind the bugs.

And after the sun has risen, I wake up and he's already looking at me. His hair a mess and eyes still tired; but he's smiling and I'm smiling.

With my finger tips I touch his face, dragging them ever so softly down to his neck and I trace my fingertips around each of his ribs.

I'm too scared to say anything too loud, too shy; even if the bugs, so I whisper "Tell me pretty things"

Im not sure if he hears me but he must have, because he says "When did you come into my life? I know there was a time before you but it feels like it was a movie and I've finally left the cinema. I thought that life was supposed to be like that, you know? Like a movie? But that's not life. Life is raw. Exhilarating. It's not superficial and there isn't always a happy ending, I mean sometimes there is, but not always.

And sometimes the stars won't shine, but one day I woke up next to you and the sun was hitting us-specifically you-through the window that you always keep open; and just like that, you are the sun. Glowing."

My beautiful boy; even your words.

"Do you mean that?"

"I do"

"Then why haven't you made me your boyfriend? Like I know we call each other that but you never really have asked me.. is there something wrong with me" his sweet face was gone and he's looking at me like that night we saw each other at the party. That night feels so long ago, it's a wonder to me how he can still make such an expression.

"It's not you, it's me"

"Oh you did not just say that to me" I shoot up from my laying position.

-Soobins POV-

"No, listen. I don't mind that you're fucked up in the head but I'm fucked in the head Beomgyu." He laughs and rolls his eyes

I've kissed and fucked a respectable amount of people, but Ryujin is the only person I have ever dated, and there's a reason for that. It's a wonder she still talks to me after the shit I put her through.

"Oh please, what could you do to me?"

Would he want me if he knew how possessive I will get, even more than I am now. Could he handle me going through his phone- because it's Beomgyu, and I will find shit- could he handle me throwing the phone into his face? Or me actually trying to shove the device down whoever's throat he was talking to?

Could he handle me needing to know his entire schedule, and if even one thing changes that he doesn't confirm with me I will make him explain it in detail while my hands are around his neck; him gasping for air, but I don't care because he's will explain himself, even if it's with his last breath.

Would it really be okay for me to kiss the bruises on his back if I put them there?

"What can I do? babe, I'll even hate the air in your lungs if it didn't come from my breathe" he smiles at me, just like he did when he would get drunk. Intoxicated.

Beomgyu presses my hand against his cold cheek "It's okay if you punch me Soobin-" he kisses my knuckles "-because I know you'll kill anyone who spits on me" I tear my hand away from him

"That's not okay Beomgyu, the things I will put you through is sick that's why I don't want to date you. I don't want to hurt you any more!"

He shrugs, like I just said it was going to storm "so what"

I blink, unsure if I just missed something "Are you actually insane?"

He nods his head I'm a prideful way "whatever you do... I'll just take it as my karma for all the things I did to everyone before you"

"I don't want to hurt you"

"It's okay Soobin"

"I will hurt you, do you understand?"

"Crystal clear" I scratch my ear lobe from frustration.

"Maybe this has gone too far"

I've been too selfish. I never wanted to get in a relationship with him. I need to better myself before I should date, my therapist made that transparent.

"What do you mean?"

"Let's cut the bullshit, we're both fucked in the head! It's going to end fucked just like us! Fuck, fuck, fuck. I can't put someone through this again we should just stop-"

"Don't say what you're about to say Choi Soobin." I get up from my bed and he springs after me

"I can't. I can't." I barley turn the door knob, ready to walk him out, but he shoves me into the door, and I'm so fucking pissed I shove him back and he lunges right back at me like a magnet. I grab his wrists and hold them as he still tries to pry through.

"This is what I'm talking about! This is toxic and we're not even dating yet!" He looks me dead in my eyes, and he bites my wrists.

"Fuck!" I throw him off and looks at my bleeding wrists. He's on the floor, my blood on his lips dripping down to his chin, and he's crying.

"You had the chance to stay gone but you came back, deal with the consequences"

"Beomgyu I'm-"

"Fucked in the head? HAHAHA so am I. You think I will stay gone Soobin? I know you, you're in too deep with me! Save us the bullshit dude"

My arm is still bleeding and it hurts like a bitch

"What do you want me to do then?!"

"Be my boyfriend."

He's on the floor crying with skin between his teeth and there's blood on my shoes.

I feel so defeated, but so relieved.

Because I want him

I want this

I want us

I know it's not okay

I tried okay I did

You saw me try?

Go easy on me

Please.

"Okay"

That's how my first week of summer began.