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New Years Eve Beomgyu's POV flashback

"Are you sure it's okay for a high schooler to go to this college party?" Beomgyu teases as Yeonjun parks his car.

"You'll be fine, it's more of a kickback than a party" Yeonjun assures. He looks over Beomgyu's outfit. He wore a black T-shirt with a white corset over it. Blonde hair fell down his forehead and around his eyes, red dangly cross earrings"Aren't you cold"

"You've asked me that already" Beomgyu laughs and opens the car door. Yeonjun quickly follows in a jog, falling in step next to Beomgyu. The inside of the frat house smelled like cinnamon, a scent Beomgyu doesn't mind. College kids act exactly like high school kids except they look more grown.

He ends up with Yeonjun in the kitchen talking with Felix and some other kids who he doesn't care to remember. He only remembers Felix's name because he was hot and Australian

"Here comes trouble" Felix lifts up his drink the gesture at Huening Kai who has finally made an appearance. He wore an autumn orange sweater that was tucked into light faded mom jeans.

"Shut up Felix," Kai says as he pours himself a drink.

"Damn Huening, you clean up good" Felix comments.

"It's because Soobin is coming tonight," yeonjun says and the entire kitchen whistles suggestively, causing Kai to blush red.

"No!" The boy lies terribly

"Yes" Yeonjun smirks "Just confess already, everybody is shipping you two"

"He's right Kai, you and Soob are a perfect match, you're the only one who can get him to do anything"

"We know you like him so just date!" Beomgyu stops listening at this point. He doesn't care about the love affair of two strangers. Huening Kai takes notice in the boy.

"Hi i'm Kai, and you are?"

"Beomgyu" Kai smiles genuinely.

"I love your corset"

"Uh... thank you" Beomgyu is a bit taken aback. He wasn't used to compliments that had no ulterior motives.


Beomgyu sits on his front porch on a chilly night . He's sparking Soobins lighter in his hands, the cold winter air making him numb. He couldn't stop thinking of today. He sat for almost an hour, like an idiot, waiting for Soobin to show up, and just when he was about to leave he met Ryan. He wasn't his type, his hair was too short and he had facial hair which the grey-haired boy wasn't a fan of, but he was nice enough and Beomgyu didn't want to be alone, then, of course, Soobin showed up acting like a psycho which wasn't new, but when Huening Kai came in- wearing Soobins coat and all, he felt sick. The boy had shopping bags with him so it means the two had been shopping prior to their appearance. While Beomgyu sat like a simp, Soobin was with another boy. He felt like a dumbass.

Huening Kai was burned in his memory. The boy was beautiful and Soobin seemed comfortable enough around him to spend a fair amount of time with him. He felt inferior to him, something that he's never felt before. Especially after the first night, he met Kai. The boy was more than just beautiful, he was genuine, something that Beomgyu had trouble with.

He regrets walking out without letting Soobin talk, he regrets leaving him with Kai. He hates these emotions. Soobin has been nothing but a confusing jerk, yet here Beomgyu is missing him. His hands take hold of the pack of cigarettes next to him- Soobins pack.

He hated the smell of smoke, it made his head hurt, but strangely enough, that was never the case when Soobin smoked.

'what's so great about these anyways?' Beomgyu wonders as he takes out a stick and puts it between his lips. He sparkes it and inhales deeply, quickly after he coughs his lungs out and spits out the cancer stick 'fuck this shit' Beomgyu stands up and heads back inside. Taehyung and Jungkook were out as usual, and the house was fully stocked of booze and alcohol. He takes a bottle of Hennessey and smells the inside, the smell making him cringe but he still chugs it down.

After the first drink he's feeling good, so good he doesn't stop. He drinks by himself on the kitchen floor, but then drunkenly stands up. The floor and walls are spinning opposite directions and for some reason, he thinks it might be different outside. The cold air does little to sober him and he stumbles down the front porch steps.

'That stupid idiot... one second he's shoving me telling me to fuck off and the next he's getting mad at me for being on a date!' Beomgyu bitterly thinks and takes another chug 'I've met a lot of boys but this... this asshole really takes the churo... ah... i mean cake...wait where am I?' The grey-haired boy looks around. He lays down on the grass by the side of the road. The bottle of Hennessey is empty now so he tosses the bottle inside and pats his pockets until he finds what he's looking for. His phone.

The screen is blurry and spinning and clicks call, putting the phone against his ear.

"Hello?" Yeonjun answers, his voice groggy.

"Oh shiiitt sorry wrong person" He hangs up and tries again. The phone rings and rings and he thinks he should give up.

"Yeah?" Soobins voice answers the call.

"Ohhh you answeered" The grey hair boys laughs.

"Are you okay?" Soobin asks, his voice full of worry.

"Oh i've beeeen in sketchier situationss" Beomgyu's teeth chatter.

"Where are you? are you okay?" Shuffling and car keys could be heard over the other end.

"Why do you caare?"

"Beomgyu I'm being serious."

"No Soobin i-i'm not okay, I'm drunk and the stars won't stop spinning"

"Tell me where you are"

"Aand you know what? fuck you for-for making f-feel these things that I've t-tried so hard to repress. L-like I w-wouldn't care if you didn't g-give a shit about me but I know you do a-and it's fucking with my f-feelings b-because I want you to give a shit about me.... just....just leave me alone Soobin. Stop h-hurting and confusing me... goodbye"

"Beomgyu, wait-" The grey-haired boy hangs up and lets out a groan, covering his face with his arms. He'll wait for the spins to pass, he had no other choice. If he stands up now no doubt he'll blow chunks.

The sound of a car pulling up doesn't phase the boy, and neither does the car door slamming shut. He hears footsteps approaching him and he expects it to be a cop. He moves his arms. Soobin is standing over him, he doesn't look pissed, or worries, he looks emotionless as he stares down at Beomgyu.

"The fuck are you doing here?" Beomgyu turns his head away.

"Get up"

"No"

"Beomgyu"

"Fuck off!" Soobin lets out a small sigh and sits down next to Beomgyu on the grass.

"I'm sorry I stood you up"

"Knock knock"

"Whos there?"

"Fuck off" Soobin found this funny and let out a laugh, that pissed Beomgyu off because it made his heart race.

"I deserved that" Soobin swallows a lump in his throat "why did you drunk call me?"

"It was an accident, I meant to call Yeonjun" Beomgyu lies and gets up from the floor. Soobin follows after Beomgyu who is stumbling home Soobin feels deja vu. The grey-haired boy didn't make it far and sat down on the curb.

"You gotta stop drinking" Soobin sats next to him while lighting a cigarette.

"Here" Beomgyu reaches in his pockets and handed back the pack of cigarettes and lighter that he held onto for so long. "They taste like shit"

Soobin looks at Beomgyu who could barely keep his head up. His side profile beautiful. Despite being fucked up he still looks like a doll.

"I don't know how I feel about you, and I know it sounds douchey, but it's the truth. You do things to me that don't make sense like when I'm around you I feel like all the meat is going to melt off my bones, and I have a fucking headache when I'm without you but it kind of feels better when I'm with you but not quite. I don't know why I bet pissed when other guys come onto you because I don't like you, I really don't, but it just doesn't sit right with me. Fuck, I don't even know why I came looking for you." Beomgyu lays his head on Soobin's shoulder, looking up at the stars.

"The stars are spinning" Beomgyu closes his eyes to try to stop the headache,"I think... I think I want you in my life"

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