Freak Accident | SooGyu

28

-Beomgyu POV-

I fucking hate college, the only reason I still even show up is because of Soobin. Speaking of which..

To Soobin: Where r u
Delivered 27 minutes ago

Why the fuck is he not replying! Ugh whatever. I open my photo camera roll and scroll through my gallery for a second until I find the picture I was looking for. Soobin's class schedule that I had Yeonjun take a picture of and send to me.

Right now the schedule tells me he's a few doors down- at least he better be.

Honestly I'm not in the best of moods right now. I didn't drink last night so I'm completely sober which is not good for anyone.

I walk into the class and I guess class just finished because everyone is gathering their shit and leaving, and I finally see Soobin in the front row. He has all his things but was talking to a girl with long hair tied up.

I walk over to them, not caring that they were in the middle of a conversation.

"I'm bored let's go" I say to Soobin, not even sparing the girl a glance.

"It's kind of rude to interrupt someone's conversation" the stupid bitch speaks up.

"Fuck off" I spit out the words like they're poison.

"I'll see you later" Soobin tried to get me to start moving along but the girl does something next that gets my blood boiling.

She fucking blows him a kiss with a wink and struts off, bumping shoulders with me.

"Beomgyu stop" Soobin tries to calm the situation "be the bigger person"

Fuck that

I grab a pair of scissors sticking out of Soobins backpack pocket and speed walk to the girl. I grab her by her wanna be Ariana Grande hair tie and-

SNIP!

She spins to face me, her jaw dropped low, face contorted into shock and anger.

"You fucking psycho!" She tries to slap me but Soobin throws her back into some desks and pushes me to start walking. The entire time I'm still holding onto her hair and scissors.

I look back and send a sweet smile her way and throw her hair to the side.

...

"Why would you cut her hair?" Soobin calmly questions as he drives us back to his dorm. I could see by his grip on the steering wheel that he was enraged.

"She pissed me off"

"You're not a child anymore, you should really get your anger under control"

"You're telling me to control my anger? That's really funny" there's an exchange of silence followed by the two of us laughing at the irony "Anyways who was that girl?"

Soobin glances at me "Her names Lia, she's the professors daughter"

"Hope she likes short hair"

"You should apologize to her"

"I have nothing I'm sorry for. If anyone should apologize it should be you for shoving her in a desk"

"She was going to hit you. I have nothing I'm sorry for" on the drive to Soobins dorm, it begins to snow.

...

In a cold alleyway my legs shaking and I collapse; I would have hit the wet gravel but once again Soobin holds me up "Fucking hell what the fuck is wrong with you?!"

"Nnng" my usual sharp reply was silenced my my numb mouth.

Everything was once again spinning but my body felt warm and relaxed, like I was floating in nothing.

I'm blacking in and out of life. One instant I'm in the alley way. I blink and we're walking down the Main Street. I blink and I'm in the car, we're moving and I'm trying to hold myself together.

"Why are you always fucked up?" I blink hard and turn my head to look at him. He's still spinning and my head feel 40 pounds heavier so I toss it back.

I run my tongue on the top of my mouth "...Feels good"

"It feels good to not be able to walk or talk?"

"You coming... for me... feels good..." it hurts to talk.

This doesn't feel good anymore. It stopped feeling good a long time ago.

But I can't stand myself when I'm sober. It feels like there's something evil inside of me trying to get out.

My hands always shake and my mind is so fucked up. I'm probably the worst person in the world.

Yet, Soobin still comes. He might cuss at me but if someone spits on my name he'll hit them with chains.

Sometimes when he looks at me I almost believe I'm something to anything.

I'm so sorry Soobin. I'm so sorry I came into your life, because quite frankly, meeting me has been anything but nice. I'm like a parasite, poisoning everything I touch.

But for whatever reason he's made his choice. No matter how toxic or damaging it is; he is stuck with me.

"What did you take" I come back to reality when I hear Soobin speak. His words sound like they're being spoken into my ear by a mega phone.

"Two Xanax" I don't lie, that's how I know I'm not the devil.

"Since when do you take pills?"

"I do anything if I get drunk enough"

"I think you have a drinking problem" I laugh dryly.

"You think?"

"Beomgyu you need to quit all these bad habits"

"And you need to go to therapy but neither are going to happen anytime soon" the anger of being confronted is sobering me up.

"I don't need to go to therapy"

"No offense Soobin but I'm pretty sure your uncle killing himself right next to your sleeping body for you to wake up to is something worth going to therapy for" even I know my words are fucked, but I'm so angry I can't seem to stop.

"What about you? You were kidnapped and tortured out of obsessive love so you cope by getting fucked up- every night your eyes look like they're not yours"

"Do you still see his dead body when you close your eyes?"

"Do you still feel his hands on you?" Without thinking my hand opens the car door and Soobin steps on the breaks immediately. I'm still too weak to stand so I throw myself on the road and precede to throw up on my hands and knees.

I throw up, I keep throwing up, even after I feel nothing inside my stomach I shove my finger down my throat and try to make myself throw up again. I need to get it out of me; I need this evil feeling gone.

Soobin leans on his car near me. I don't look at him but I can see him from the corner of my eyes.

My throat is burning and I'm on my hands and knees, right over my throw up, trying to get myself together.

"Are you okay?" Soobin kneels down next to me.

"Do you..." I look at him but when I see his angelic face I look away ashamed "...do you think you can ever be something defined as happy?"

I black out again.