"I'm sorry, I don't know why I do. I think there might be something poisoning my mind" I feel like I should be ashamed but I've done worse so I'm immune to the feeling. Still, I feel bad.
"It's okay" he licks his ice cream
"Don't excuse my behavior...
Oops! This image does not follow our content guidelines. To continue publishing, please remove it or upload a different image.
I run a hand through my dark hair as I stare at myself in the mirror "You're leaving today"
I can see Jeonghan in the reflection sitting behind me on the bed.
"Awww are you sad?" I turn to face him with a teasing smirk. His face reddens and he looks down at his fingers.
Idiot, I told him not to fall in love with me.
"When will you come back?"
"I don't know if I ever want to come back" I answer honestly. This isn't the answer he wants to hear but it's best to be transparent in these situations.
He fakes a smile and stands up.
"Well, try to keep in touch" I know I won't, but I still smile.
I lay a hand on his chest "Thanks for the memories" even though they weren't so great. I can feel his heart thumping against his chest.
His eyes lock with mine and for a moment I wish that I could love him.
After briefly saying goodbye to my grandparents I make my way to the front of the manor where my brother and Jungkook are waiting with a limo.
"New hair? It looks good" Jungkook eyes my locks.
"My roots grew in quite a bit while I was in psych ward so I went all dark again" I say. Jungkook starts putting my luggage in the trunk.
My brother wore a heavy brown coat and a red scarf.
"Why are you not wearing pants?"
"October freshness is the best" I smile.
We share a brief hug. The last time I saw him I was admitted in a psych ward for trying to kill myself.
"Here" he holds out my phone. I reach out for it but freeze halfway.
It's been months since I've had my phone. I wasn't allowed to have it by the hospital and much less my grandparents.
I finish taking it. It felt foreign in my hands and I didn't like it. I click the power button and find out that it's dead. No surprise there, so I shove it in my back pocket where I forget about it almost immediately.
"Shall we get going? Our train leaves soon" Jungkook says after shutting the trunk.
...
-Soobins POV-
"What do you think? Should I go in red or green?" Huening Kai asks me as we're walking out of a shopping plaza. Kai was the only one who bought anything.
"Uh I don't know" I say honestly. I wasn't good with fashion and just stuck to all black with the occasional primary color top.
"What do you think I'd look good in?"
"Uh... i don't know... black" Kai smiles at my answer.
"I had a feeling you'd say that" we're walking down the steps to the subway station now.
Halloween was at the end of the month and Kai wants me and him to dress as power rangers. I haven't dressed for halloween since I was 12 and never felt the want for it again, but Huening Kai says this is what couples do so...
I don't like how he uses the word.. couple. We haven't made anything official and are in that stage where we're together but not officially- by my request of course. I'm thankful he's understanding and patient.
"My dad wants us to go by the shop to get our measurements" Kai says as he types on his phone.
"When?"
"I'll text you when I find out. Oh here's my train, bye Binnie!" He pecks my cheek and rushes on his train so that he could find a good place.
We smile at each other one more times before the train departs. My train would come in three more stops so I just had to wait a little longer.
The first train slowly departs. I watch bored as it starts to move away from my vision, watching the people inside zoom by.
When it was gone I could see across the tracks, the other side of the subway station.
Maybe it was fate, or coincidence, but he was there. Beomgyu is right there and I almost don't recognize him because of his darn hair but his outfit was conformation that it was indeed him.
Oops! This image does not follow our content guidelines. To continue publishing, please remove it or upload a different image.
How long has it been? 7? 8 months?
Seeing did something to me. The anxiety I've felt since he disappeared quieted down, and I felt like I could breathe.
I know he sees me because we make eye contact. I don't even get to see what kind of face he makes before another train passes by. It was gone in seconds but when the tracks cleared, Beomgyu was gone.
I need to see him again. I need to talk to him and ask him where he's been. I need to or else I feel like I'm going to suffocate.
