Nothing like him

Part 21

    I walked up the two steps to Bryan's condo front door, wiping some tears that had fallen on the way here. The city lights were bright tonight. Bryan had a really good view of it. I knocked on the door after taking a deep breath. Once Bryan answered I looked into his eyes to see that they were both red and puffy. His nose seemed stuffed because he was breathing out of his mouth. His hair was a mess and he had a tissue in his hand. He looked at me up and down, as if to make sure it was really me.
"You didn't have to-" he started. "Thank you for-" , he sucked his lips in and looked down.
"Bryan, I'm so sorry for your loss" I walked up and placed my arms around him in a hug. "Your mother, she was an amazing person, she didn't deserve this" A tear fell from my eyes and I felt Byan's grip tightened around me. He buried his face in my shoulder and began to sob. I tried my best not to cry, but Kelly was like a mom to me too. She was the mom I never had and so it hurt that she was gone. I began to cry. Bryan pulled me into his house and closed the door behind me.
"Thank you for being here Mariana" he said as he started to catch his breath again.
I pulled back and stood in front of him, wiping my tears. I nodded and looked down. I wondered if me coming made Bryan think there was a chance for us to get back together. I wondered if he only called me because he knew that I would come. I wondered why I came here in the first place. Was this a bad Idea?
"I made some tea, The one you like" He put his hands in his pocket and looked at me. "Care to stay for a bit?" He tilted his head waiting for my response.
"Bryan I shouldn't I-"
"Mariana, It's just tea" He smiled a bit as if to say nothing more. I now felt obligated to stay. I nodded and we walked into the kitchen and sat at the table together with our tea. We sat in silence for a bit before Bryan spoke up.
    "Mariana, I'm sorry. About not being there for you. You're right, I wasn't a good boyfriend and I can do better. I love you, and I want you to know that. I'm not the best at showing it but I really do love you" He moved a bit closer to me. "Please I've me another chance". I didn't have to look at him to know he was looking right at me. If I looked at him I'd see his dark brown eyes looking at me, he'd be chewing on the side of his lip while waiting for me to answer.
"I didn't come here to talk about this. I don't want to talk about this. It's not happening. I'm here because your mother passed away and this is me sending my condolences, not me letting you back in my life in that way" I said. "I just can't do this Bryan." I said before finishing my tea. I stood up "I should go"
"No, please" he stood up after me. "I'm sorry, just stay, we don't have to talk about it. I'm just trying to find a way to get my mind off things you know?" He was making excuses. I went to put my cup in the sink before walking back to the table to grab my phone. Bryan blocked me. He walked up close to me. "Please stay" He said, looking into my eyes. I wanna leave, i don't want to be here.
"I have to go" I said, trying to move past him. He continued to block me.
"Mariana, I'm just asking for a second chance," he yelled, causing me to stop moving. I looked at him and shook my head.
"I gave you too many chances and you still blew it. The answer is no" I started trying to get past him again and he blocked me.
"Why? Did you find someone new or something?" I didn't respond. He placed his hands on my shoulders and held me still. "I love you Mariana," He said. He then planted a kiss on my lips, slipping his tongue into my mouth. He held my arms so tightly I couldn't move. I slapped his chest with my hands and tried to pry myself away. Once I was out of his hands I took a couple steps back.
"What the hell is wrong with you?" my voice raised. My phone rang from the table. I tried to walk to the table to grab it but Bryan grabbed it first. He looked at the screen with a disappointed face.
"Dean? You're talking to your ex?" He yelled.
"Give me my phone" I yelled as I tried to reach for it. He moved it, he was too tall.
"Does Elaina know about you and her brother getting back together?"
"Yeah, But that's not your business. Give me the fucking phone" I yelled. He answered the phone and put it up to his ear.
"Hey Dean. How ya doing man. Mariana's a little busy right now but I can leave a message if you want" He said in a friendly voice.
"Give me back my phone. Bryan what the hell". He took the phone away from his ear and gave it to me with a smile.
"He hung up"

***
The whole walk back home I tried to call Dean back. No response, Nothing. I called Elaina.
"Where's Dean? Is he ok? Is he mad at me? He isn't answering his phone. I was at Bryan's place because Kelly passed away. I thought Bryan could use some sympathy but then he started asking to get back together and then all of a sudden we were yelling at each other. Dean called and Bryan answered and now he isn't answering my calls. I think I fucked up Elaina. I feel so bad. Please say something." I finally stopped.
There was a pause. "You're on the speaker," she said blankly.
"What?"
"Mia, Come over, You should talk to him in person. He heard all that by the way"
"Oh god, ok I'm coming" Before I hung up, Elaina told me that she and Dean were listening to music and smoking together when I called. When she answered the call she'd forgotten that her phone was connected to the bluetooth speaker and Dean heard everything I said. Just great. I guess that's what I get for dating my best friend's brother.
I wondered if Dean was mad at me or not. He's never actually been mad at me so I wouldn't know what that would feel like. Dean is very understanding and tries not to let things affect him even when it's obvious it does. Once I got to their house I put my hand up to knock but the door swung open before Dean walked out with a cigarette in his mouth. I looked at him, eager to find out if he was mad at me or not. That question had been eating me alive the whole way here.
He looked in my eyes and he must have known his silence was making me anxious. He smiled at me then placed his warm hand gently on my cheek. It felt nice, like it belonged there. I felt each of his individual fingertips on my face, his thumb rubbed lightly under my eye while he looked at me.
"I'm not mad," he said. And nothing could be more reassuring than this. I felt relieved and let out a breath of air. I could physically feel the weight being lifted off my shoulders. He kissed my forehead, his lips soft as usual, then walked to sit on the front bench. He lit his cigarette and looked at me. He looked just like his dad, the way he was sitting on the front bench smoking. It was weird to look at so I pushed that thought aside and went to sit next to him.
"If you're not mad then why didn't you answer your phone when I called? You know how many times I called you Dean? I was scared you thought I was going back to Bryan or something."
"I wasn't. You wouldn't go back to Bryan because you're not an idiot" he smiled while one blew his smoke in my face. His breath smelled like weed so that explained why he seemed really calm right now. "I didn't answer your phone because I knew you'd feel the need to explain yourself. Mia, you never have to explain yourself to me or anyone. I hate that people just always feel the need to explain themselves when nobody asks. I never do that anymore. You called Elaina and let it all out to her. I trust you Mariana." He inhaled his smoke again then started coughing a lot. More than usual. He dropped his cig on the floor and stomped on it while still coughing.
"Dean, are you ok?" I said. "Do you want some water?" he nodded, then I ran inside to the kitchen and grabbed a glass of water, not even realizing his mother was in the kitchen as well.
"Oh hey Mariana. What's up?"
"Ok hey Chantel, I'm just grabbing some water for Dean. He's choking on smoke again" Her face shifted wor worried.
"Where is he?" She stood up from her seat on the island in the kitchen and started walking to where I came from.
"On the front porch" I was confused so I followed her. Dean's a smoker. He coughs. It should not be this concerning. She walked fast, almost a run. When we got to the front porch dean was still coughing, more intensely now. I was worried.
Chantel went over to dean and crouched down to his level. "Are you ok? Do we need to go to the hospital?" she said. Why was this so urgent? What was happening. Dean looked at me then looked back at his mom. He shook his head as he continued to cough into his arm. He let out a big cough and spit something out of his mouth onto the floor. Chantel looked at the ground and then at Dean. Dean looked scared. Chantel looked at me and told me to go get Jay. I couldn't move, I was in shock, what just happened?
Elaina came out because she heard the commotion. "What's going on?" she asked.
"Go get dad" Chantel yelled. Elaina's eyes widened when she looked at Dean and then she ran inside to get Jay. My eyes started to water. What was going on?
Once Jay came he pushed me out of the way lightly but aggressively, I didn't care because clearly something was wrong. I leaned against the house and pushed myself so hard against it I felt like I was slowly becoming part of it. Elaina stood next to me in fear. She bit her finger nails and chewed on the skin of her lips. She only did this when she was really anxious and worried. I couldn't help her right now though because when I looked back at Dean and his parents he was walking to the car that was parked in the driveway.
He complained about him being dizzy and his words seemed kinda slurred. He was a different version of himself than he was when I first got here. Elaina and I watched as they drove off, both of us not saying a word for a minute after they left. We just stood there in shock. Elaina slowly walked to where Dean was sitting then looked down. Ii wanted her from behind as she shook her head and tried to take a deep breath.
"Elaina, what's going on?" I managed to speak. She looked at me
"Deans sick" was all she could manage to say.