Nothing like him

Part 25

   The past couple of days I've been writing like crazy. Dean came over and stayed the night last night so he could read what I have so far.
              "Mia, this is amazing. It's off to a really great start." He placed his hand on my thigh as he looked me in the eyes. His smile was big like he was proud. I moved the hair out of his face.
             "Thank you. A little bird gave me inspiration" I giggled. He put my laptop back onto the coffee table then turned back to me. Kissing me softly and pushing me to lay on my back on the couch.
              "Maybe that little bird can give you something else" he smirked and started to make out with me. I wrapped my arms around his neck as he moved my legs apart using his knee. He slipped his hand under my shirt and reached up my back, unclipping my bra with one hand like he was some professional- even I couldn't do that.
              I tug at his shirt pulling him closer into me before he takes it off. And then it hits me. Should we be having sex when he has lung cancer? I stopped moving my lips at the thought of it and then he stopped but didn't pull away. His lips just barely touched mine.
              "What happened, where'd you go?" He giggled a bit.
              "Should we be doing this?" I asked. He sat up in between my legs.
              "Why not? You don't want to? It's ok if you don't want to."
              "No. I want to. I really do. But, is it... safe?" He looked at me like the answer was obvious. The side of his mouth curved into a smirk as he looked me in the eyes.
"Tell me Mia." He started as he crawled into me again, laying me down again. "What the hell do my lungs have to do with my dick?" I smiled at him and he slowly moved in for makeout with me again. Spreading my legs with his knee again and starting to take my shirt off again. I reached down and started to take his belt off. But before I could, his hand covered mine.
"Just relax," he said softly. "I'll take care of you" he smiled then started kissing his way down my neck. He left a trail of kisses down my stomach while slipping my pants down. His lips reached their destination, the warm area in between my legs. I could stay still as his mouth moved to a perfect rhythm. I ran my fingers through his hair and placed my legs over his shoulders, letting out uncontrollable moans. He slid his hands up to my hips then higher towards my chest, cupping with his large veiny hands.
Once he was finished he kissed his way back up to me, sliding himself in on the way up. I gasped at the unexpectancy of his entrance. Nearly screaming once his hips started to move. Our breaths were so heavy they could fog up the windows. I liked feeling him inside of me. His touch on my body. His lips made me melt everytime they were on mine. He started to go faster causing the whole couch to shake a bit. I smiled as I slid my hands around his torso and pulled him into me, leaving no gaps between us. Our skin touched, rubbed and warmed each other's.
He looked at me before he finished. A look every girl would want to see. Perfect look, perfect time. He looked at me like he loved me, deeply. Like he would never stop loving me. Like the only sex he wanted to have was with me. He looked at me with a warm smile and a glow in his eyes, he looked at me like I was it for him. And I loved it. A drop of sweat dripped from his hair onto my chest, my skin claiming it disappeared in that spot.
He laid his head on my chest, facing away from me. I didn;t need to see his face to know that he was tired. He started lightly running his fingers along the side of my body as our breaths calmed down. He always did this. After sex he never just got up and left me laying there. He always laid with me, held me in his muscular arms and gave me lots and lots more kisses. Like he was doing now. Dean loves me and I love him too. And I love how we don't have to say it for it to be true.

Dean's POV:
I can definitely see a future with Mariana. She knows me. She knows about where I've been in my past, where I plan to be in my future. She knows how to get me to talk even when I don't want to. She knows how to respect me, and how to make sure I respect her. She's not afraid to tell me when I'm wrong or correct me, or put me in my place when it's needed. She knows when I'm joking, when I'm serious. I love her. Not just because she knows me, I know her too.
I know what she fears and what makes her anxious. I know how to calm her down when she overthinks. I know how she dreams of a big wedding, with lots of people and flowers in a huge farmhouse with a beautiful white dress. But will give up her big wedding dreams if the person she marries doesn't want it. I know when she hurts but hides it. I know when she wants to cry, be alone, be comforted and be held. I know her.
But I fear for her.
I fear that cancer wins the battle. That she'll have to watch me slowly dying. She will see me in pain and want to help but won't know how. I fear I will become bad to her. That the cancer changed my mood. I fear she feels pushed away, Neglected, deprived of what she deserves in a man. I fear she'll have to fight with the grief of losing me. Force herself to move on. I fear she'll never find love after I die. She'll be sad and alone because no other guy knows how to treat her with the love and compassion that I do. I fear I'll run out of time to tell her how I feel, how I want to be with her forever. But what if my forever isn't as long as her's?
But I know she's strong, and she knows I'm a fighter. She loves me and I love her too. But I fear that I don't say it as much as I do.