Nothing like him

Part 26

Mariana's POV:
    I've grown to believe that my favorite part about the Dean is his eyes. Especially when they look at me. He doesn't even have to say anything to make me smile like a dork when his eyes and mine are locked. We sit outside on the patio,soaking in the fresh morning air and the beautiful sight as the sun finishes rising. We each have a coffee mug, the ones with the very creative sayings. Mine said "you got this" and Deans said "It's such a beautiful day to leave me alone".
    "Mia where did you get these mugs?" Dean said while taking a sip and looking out at the view.
    "A Christmas party at work" I laughed. "It's what i get for working with old people"
    "God, I hate old people"
    "They aren't that bad. You just have to be friendly Dean"
    "I am friendly to those I want to be friends with. Definitely not old people"he giggled. "How do you do that?"
    "I grew up with a bunch of old people, remember? The youngest caretaker I had was Lola, she was in her mid 40s when I was entering my teen years." I said. "I wonder what happened to her," I mumbled.
"You should go on a mission to find her,"  he laughed. I've thought about it before, even recently. I haven't told Dean about the flashbacks or the memories that reading my diaries had brought back to me. I figured he had lots on his mind already to even start being worried about me. I looked down and fiddled with my fingers. "I'm kidding Mia" He said as if he needed to clear things up.
"I know," I said. "Maybe we should, though, find her. I could ask her some stuff and maybe she'd have an answer to some questions." I sipped my coffee.
"You have questions? About what?" He tilted his head at me while looking at me. I rubbed the side of the coffee mug in hesitation. Was this something that might stress Dean out? I didn't want him to use my personal situations as a way to avoid the thought of his cancer.
"Well yeah some, I guess. It's just some stupid questions about my parents" i sipped the coffee until there was nothing left. Saying this out loud was making me nervous for some reason. Growing up I was taught to avoid asking any questions about my parents, anything I didn't know was because I shouldn't know. But recently all this talk about my brother and the flashbacks of my mom saying " I want my son back" has been eating me alive.
"Tell me some, I'm curious," he said. I shot a look at him.
"No, we don't have to talk about this. When's your next doctor's appointment, I want to come."
"Why? You have questions for my doctor too?" He smiled because he already knew the answer.
"You never know what to ask, I'm sick of asking hey dean how was your appointment, and you responding with it was fine, then changing the topic. I need to know" I giggled. He looked at me, giving me that look again. The inlove look that made my cheeks turn pink.
"Next week, 2:00 at the Sloan Cancer Centre" he said before drinking the rest of his coffee.
"I'll be there"
"And I'll be there when you ask Lola your questions" he kissed my forehead and went inside.
"That's not happening" I called after him. I could picture the smug grin on his face as he ignored me.
***
It was another one of our rare busy days at the bookshop. Days like this only happened around valentines day, easter or Christmas. The weather was getting colder and the streets of Manhattan started filling with Christmas decor. Which meant we were right on schedule with our book sales.
Kaleb started taking over for Ross. Ross is our 50 year old boss who is also the owner of Hardcovers Book Shops all around New york. Kaleb was Ross's son who was taking over while his parents went on their anniversary trip. Personally, I don't like Kaleb and if he wasn't my temporary boss I'd scream at him to leave. For the two years I've worked here Kaleb came pretty often. He was always in the way, taking books off the shelves and not knowing where to put them back so he'd leave them on the tables. He flirted with any woman who walked in the shop and occasionally made random sales for him. Larry doesn't care because he is just the cash register, but I seem to care an awful lot about the shop.
Tonight Kaleb decided to announce a sale, 50% off any purchase. Which was terrible for business considering this was the only time of the year when our sales were at their highest. I knocked on his office door to inform him of his mistake.
"Hey, Kaleb. I have some concerns about the sale we are having right now" I walked in and leaned against the wall.
"Well Mariana,take a seat and we can discuss your concerns" he gestured to a chair. I sat and looked at him.
"Winter is the best our sales are throughout the year. Taking 50% off any purchase can really affect our business and i think that-" i said before i was interrupted. 
               "I totally agree. I was actually just thinking about it and if we want more income the sale wouldn't be the best choice", he refraised my words. I sat in shock for a second.
               "So the sale ends now?" I asked, still confused as to what just happened.
                "Yes ma'am, you know Mariana. You have a really great organization and an amazing amount of concern for this shop. You should own the place when my father retires, not me" he laughed. I joined in because I didn't know what to say. I hated him so much that I wouldn't even want to sit in the chair he is sitting in. I made my way out of the office and back to work.
               Closer to the end of my shift Dean called. I picked up the phone while finishing unloading out new books from the boxes into the bookshelves. "Hey Dean" I said, answering the phone.
              "Hey. Are you on your way?"
               "Yup, just finishing up at the shop. Your appointment is at 2:00 right?"
               "Yeah. Be here before then so you don't get lost like a puppy" he giggled. Once we finished our call I clocked out and made my way out to the street. I called over a taxi using the new whistle method that Dean had taught me and started making my way to the Sloan cancer centre.
               Once I got there I saw Dean waiting in front of the building, standing tall, scrolling on his phone. He looked a lot taller than his usual 6'1 self. I got out of the car and ran up to him. Checked my watch to see I had made it at exactly 1:59.
             "I'm on tiiimmeeee" I sang to him with a giggle.
            "And not lost like a puppy" he giggled before placing his lips on mine. "Come let's go" we walk in the cancer centre and it is so enthusiastic, colourful. As if it were to scream and have hope it made me a lot more joyful than Dean of course but I didn't mind. There were lots of paintings, very detailed.
            "Wow, these are beautiful," I said.
            "All those paintings were painted by some of our cancer survivors. Ages 19-80." A lady wearing pink medical scrubs and a light sky blue cardigan. I smiled at her and looked at the paintings more. "Can I help you guys?" She said in a friendly voice.
            "We're here for my appointment. Dr. McKinsey said she wanted to talk to me about my recent scans'' Dean chimed in. I looked at him, unclear about when he needed to get more scans.
            "Oh yes of course. Right this way" the nurse lady said as she led us down the hall to a room. While we walked I looked at Dean.
            "You didn't tell me you had to get more scans," I said.
            "They were sudden. Must have slipped my mind" he said, not looking at me. I knew it didn't slip his mind. That's why he was asking me about my life and trying to get me to find Lola, to get his mind off this moment right here. I looked at him and he looked more nervous then when he had to tell me he had cancer.
             Once we got to the room the nurse closed the door and I swung my head to Dean who looked back at me.
             "It didn't slip your mind. You over think about things like this. Why didn't you tell me about the scans?" I tried to not raise my voice but I was a little upset. I try to go easy on Dean, give him the benefit of the doubt. But he kept leaving me out and I didn't like it.
             "You don't have to worry about it. I feel fine so it's not a big deal"
             "Did you feel fine before you were diagnosed with stage 2 lung cancer?" I said. Looking at him. He looked away. "Dean, you have to keep me in the loop. I can't keep digging for information because you won't tell me. I need to know" I said. He nodded and opened his mouth to say something but before he could the doctor came in.
             "Hey there Dean. How are you feeling?" She said as she sat on the other side of the desk.
             "I'm doing ok. This is my girlfriend Mariana, Mariana this is Dr. McKinsey. She's going to help me beat cancer" he said in a mimicking voice.
             "Dean, I've done it before. Don't underestimate me" she laughed a bit. "I want to discuss your last scans because I do have some concerns" she opened her laptop and flipped it to face us. I didn't know what I was looking at but it didn't look good. He used her pen to point at the screen as she spoke. "This right here are your lungs, and this is the cancer that is starting to take over. As you can see the cancer is now spreading into your left lung and infecting your breathing on both lungs" she looked at us to make sure we were following along, Dean looked like he understood and I would kind of understand.
                "What does this mean?" I asked.
                She sighed before speaking which was never a good sign. Deans cancer is getting worse. He is moving into stage three, which means you will have a lot more symptoms than you have right now. You will have to be on more meds and do more chemotherapy than you already are. We cannot stop you from moving into stage three at this point so if you want to get the right treatment for it we have to make that decision now" she looked at Dean. I looked at him. He looked at the floor, tapping his foot causing his whole leg to move up and down in a fast rhythm. He shook his head slowly. I reached for his hand and our fingers interlaced.
                 "If Dean did decide to take the right treatment, what would it look like?" I asked.
                "Well he'd be at this clinic twice a week for chemo and he will have to take many different kinds of medications. Zykadia,Visimpro,Trexal. He would be in pain and a lot weaker but his body will be able to actually fight off the cancer" she explained. Dean sat up tall.
                "Will this treatment cure me?" He asked.
                "Yes, more than likely. This treatment is known for working with lung cancer. But like I said, no promises are made when it comes to medicine" she explained.
                "If he takes this treatment, will he have to continue taking the pills even after he is cured to maintain it? Because cancer can come back right?" I chimed in. She smiles at me.
               "I see you've done some research," she giggled. It is very possible for cancer to come back. However, from the look of it the chances of Dean's cancer coming back are very low. I wouldn't worry about it right now. If the treatment does cure Dean's cancer he won't have to take all those medications to maintain it, he will probably only have to take one dose of a medication that helps his lungs a day but we can talk about that when the time comes" she finished. I looked over at Dean and our eyes met.
"I want to do the streatment, I want to get better" He gripped my hand and smiled at me.
"Okay" Dr. McKinsey said with a bright smile on her face. "We can make some appointments, plan your weekly chemo schedule and get you a prescription for your medication. I can just send it to your house" she turned the computer screen to face her again and started typing away.