Nothing like him

Part 35

Dear Diary, December 24, 2013
Mom and dad are fighting (as usual). I hated when they fought around christmas time because it killed the holiday spirit. Dad would always be a grouch and mom would try too hard to make it fun by forcing us to do karaoke and bake as a family. The night usually ended with dad going to the bar, mom crying and screaming and me in my room with Lola eating apple pie.
This year was different though. A different fight. We've already seen the "you work too much", "you're a shitty husband/wife" and the "are you cheating" arguments. But this year was different. It was the "what about our kid" fight. I've never heard that one, didn't even know it existed.
Dad came home from work with a surprise for the family. Mom was scared because she had no idea what to expect. We all walked out to the driveway of our house to see a brand new sports car parked in the front. Dad waved the keys in the air excitedly.
"Is it for me?" Mom asked with a tone.
"You? Driving a sports car? Of course not hun. It's mine. But it's a Christmas present for the family 'cause we will be taking drives in it. Cook right?" dad said.
"How much was it?" Mom looked mad. She was about to explode any minute. Dad brushed her off anytime she asked about the price which meant this was bad. Lola came out and wrapped a blanket around me, protecting me from the cold.
"How much was the damn car?" mom yelled now. Dad gave her a stern look.
"It's christmas eve, we don't talk about prices in the holidays" He was now ready to explode too. Lola could tell because she started moving me towards the door and back inside. I heard them start to scream before Lola shut the door, shaking her head disappointedly.
"You hungry Mina?" she asked. Trying to distract me. I was 16, I didn't need a distraction. I told her no before making my way up to my room and cracking my window open slightly so I could head the argument. I hated that I found amusement in it now. That each time their voices raised I hoped it would lead to a devorce. That they'd finally split up.
"You fucking idiot. It's christmas. I told you to go pick up something good for Mariana. Not yourself" mom yelled.
"We can get her something tomorrow, we are loaded, we can get something in the next hour for god sake" dad yelled back. I never expected anything from my parents for christmas. I would be happy even if they sat at the dinner table and ate dinner with me without arguing, even if it meant they would stay silent the whole time.
"We can't just spend like that, we are loaded because we plan for a future. God i hate you, i wish my stupid 15 year old self never fell inlove with you're stupid ass and never brought kids into the picture. You have no idea how to care and provide mariana with everything she needs that doesn't involve money" mom said. She wasn't wrong, dad and I barely ever talk and she does actually care for me a little more than dad. But still, this was a stupid argument. I closed my window and called Marcus in hopes he could help distract me.
"Hey Mia, I was just about to text you. How is my girlfriend's Christmas going?" They sounded cheerful. So cheerful that I couldn't tell him the truth. I smiled at the sound of his voice.
"My christmas is great" I decided to say. I let him talk away about his christmas eve because I had nothing to say about mine. Maybe next year will be better.
-Mariana Rosabel Sinclair
***
I had spent the past three weeks preparing for my Christmas dinner with Frank. He told me to make his favorite dessert, chocolate fudge brownies.
"It's basic but I like it," he had said. This whole christmas plan was mostly just frank giving me orders but i didn't mind. It was something to help get my mind off Dean. Chantel hadn't called me like she said she would, which had been making me nervous but I tried my best to not feel the need to harass them. Dean didn't want me around anymore and I chose to respect that.
The food was almost ready for tonight. I had cooked quite a lot but whatever we didn't end up finishing I could pack in containers and eat it throughout the week. Once the food was done I had double checked everything. Chicken casserole, bread buns, corn on the cob, potato wedges, and brownies just like Frank had ordered. I still felt like something was missing. And then it hit me. A present. I hadn't even thought about what to get frank but I knew I couldn't come empty handed. I grabbed my coat and was off to the shops.
I had about half an hour to find something for Frank. I knew he liked planes and pictures. He also liked antique things. And drugs of course but i felt like that'd be a little inappropriate . I thought of more things I could get him. If I were an old man, what would I want for christmas? The first shop was no help at all. I walked into a store in hopes I could find at least one thing. Nothing. I walked outside and felt nearly defeated. I couldn't find anything for this old man who might not have another Christmas after this one.
I flopped on a bench and took a moment to think. Nothing came to my mind. I buried my head into my hands in hope something would squeeze out of my brain. And then I heard a voice.
"Mariana? Is that you?" the voice sounded nearly shocked. I didn't recognize it for a moment but once I looked up and my eyes met his, memories flooded back. He was tall, and his muscular arms held many bags. His hair was still blond, shorter than I remembered but the curls were still there. And his eyes. I couldn't help but smile into the light green eyes that once looked at me like I was the onlight light in the world.
"Marcus? Oh my god it's been so long" I smiled and went in for a hug. His touch brought back memories too.
"It really has. How've you been?" He sat down next to me placing the bags in between his legs. He was well dressed in jeans and a puffy black jacket.
"I'm good" lies. "How about you?"
"I'm really good. Wow you look amazing. It's been what? 8 years?"
"Yeah, I think so," I said with a bit of a laugh. "What are you doing out on Christmas eve? Shouldn't you be with your family?"
"Ya I should, But my parents moved to canada last year and my sister has been in LA for the past 3 years. So now I spend Christmas Eve donating some of my stuff to the homeless and the people in need of a Christmas present.it's not always new stuff but it's better than nothing. Everyone deserves a Christmas present right?" he said. I smiled at him while he talked. He was always so helpful and kind to others. He provided for others before himself- kind of like me. "What are you doing out here?" he asked.
"On a hunt for a christmas present for an 80 something year old man" I said.
"Damn Mia. I didn't think you'd settle for money but maybe I was wrong" he said jokingly. I laughed. It felt nice being called Mia by him again.
"No, no. Not like that. My neighbor and I are both alone for Christmas so I decided to spend it with him. I have all the food cooked at home but no present" I said.
"I think I could help you out" he said looking in his bags of stuff. He teached to the bottom of the bag, pulling out a medium sized music box that was just a bit smaller than a shoe box.
"It's a music box. It plays "You are my sunshine" he smiled and handed it to me. I turned the knob to listen to the beautiful soft tone.
"Why would you get rid of this? It's perfect for you," I said with a smile on my face.
"I don't have the space for it. It sits on a shelf in my closet. I'm sure some 80 year old man would find more fascination in it then I will" he smiled.
"Thank you" I said looking into his eyes again. He smiled into my eyes and the feeling felt too familiar, a good familiar.
"Mia, I missed you a lot these past years"
"I missed you too, Marco," I giggled. He took my hand in his.
"We need to hang out some time" He smiled. I felt him put something in my hand while he stood up. "You should get going on your dinner date" He smiled and started walking away. "Call me sometime" He said
"But I don't have your number" I said before looking in my hand and seeing that he left his business card in my hand. He was a real estate agent and his number was on the card. I smiled and put the card in my pocket before starting to walk home.
***
I got ready and knocked on Frank's door exactly at 6:00 like I said I would. I had put a bow on the music box and was ready to see his reaction to it.
"Frank opened up. I'm starving" I said while knocking again. No answer. "Frank?" I said. I started to worry. Did something happen? I Tried to open the door but it was locked. I knocked again but harder. Maybe he fell asleep and couldn't hear me? Old people struggle with hearing things. Still nothing. I started to worry. I ran down to the front desk and asked our doorman for a key to Frank's apartment.
"Mariana I can't give that to you"
"Frank is old and I'm worried something happened. Tony, please just give me the key." his face changed and he grabbed the key to frank's place and led the way. Once the door was open I forced my way past Tony and into the apartment.
"Frank?" I called. He was nowhere in sight. I walked to his living room. "Frank," I called again. And then I saw him. The old man on the couch in his living room, holding his wife's journal in his lap. His head leaned against the couch and his eyes closed. He was asleep. I walked over to him and sat next to him. Placing my arm gently on his arm. He dressed up nicely for our Christmas dinner. Wearing khakis and a christmas sweater. He even brushes his hair in a combover. I smiled a bit.
"Frank woke up, it's time for dinner" I said, rubbing his arm gently. He didn't move.
"Mariana," Tony said softly but I shushed him. I knew what he was going to say but I didn't want to hear it.
"Frank woke up" Tears threatened to fall out of my eyes. "I made everything like you asked me. I even got you a present" Still nothing. I felt Tony's hand on my shoulder but I swung it off. "He is sleeping," I said sternly. Tears started to fall now and I was crying.
Frank was all I had left right now. No Dean and now frank. That couldn't haen. I couldn't let it happen. "I made his favorite brownies for dessert" my voice was shaky. Frank has always been around, he couldn't just be gone.
"Mariana, he isn't asleep," Tony said.
"Don't say that. He is asleep. He is taking a nap before our big dinner"I cried. "We planned a dinner together Frank, please wake up" I placed my hand on top of his to feel nothing but cold. He was as cold as ice. I started to sob
Tony put his hands on my shoulder again and sat next to me. "Don't touch me" I said without looking at him, slapping his hands off me. I cried more. Hands were on my shoulders again and I looked to yell at Tony again.
"I said don't-" but they weren't Tony's hands, they were Dean's. I cried more at the sight of him. My makeup was running down my cheeks and my body was shaking while I sobbed. I buried myself in Dean's chest and I felt his heart beat on my cheek. It was stronger, stronger than it was last time I'd been this close to him. I could feel Dean crying too. He held me tightly against him.
My hand still rested on Franks, I couldn't let go. "We were supposed to have dinner together" I said, now hyperventilating. "I cooked his favorite food and his brownies. The brownies. And I have this music box for him. We were supposed to have a good christmas. The best. The best Christmas" I cried. I felt Dean talking, saying something. The vibration in his chest told me. But I couldn't hear anything beyond my sobs.
Frank. Franklyn Benjamin Kurtis was gone. And there was nothing anyone could do to bring him back.