𝙥𝙖𝙧𝙚𝙣𝙩 𝙩𝙧𝙖𝙥 | jaeyong

. f i f t e e n .

their goodbyes were gloomy. everything was gloomy. with the heavy rain, the tear-stained cheeks, jaehyun can't help but be devastated for his children. it made taeyong devastated as well seeing his youngest cry for his dad.

"dad, don't leave." sungchan cried in tiny. his hands held their dad's huge ones and wouldn't seem to let go.

it broke all of their hearts. even the house staff who chose to watch from afar. even ten who had witnessed their separation before. the difference now is the children involved. the children knows what could happen, they're all grown up, they're not stupid.

jaehyun squatted down to face his son. "sungchan-ah, i'm sorry. we'll see each other soon, don't worry." he caressed his son's soft face and wiped his tears away.

"please do it very soon." sungchan said.

jaehyun took another look at his ex-husband. no, they didn't resolve their drama the night before. thinking about it made jaehyun tear up even more.

"do you not want me anymore? because you have a new guy?"

"no, jaehyun. that's not it. you're just not supposed to be here."

looking at his ex-husband made his eyes sting. listening to his words made his heart drop. because after all those years, he wouldn't deny that he still thought about him. he thought about how he's doing, about his children. he asked himself, for everyday of the 9 years he flew away, if he made the right decision. every once in a while he'd think to comeback but would always be hindered by his thoughts--his thoughts that said maybe taeyong wouldn't want him back.

but of course he wouldn't say that now. he didn't want taeyong to be confused all over again. 

"no, i don't have someone new. we didn't work out, we couldn't try to make it work. not that it's any of your business, i don't really know why i'm telling you this now. but that's my answer." taeyong said.

a moment of silence covered the atmosphere, once again. "then why can't we work this out?"

"because it's too late, jaehyun." taeyong closed his eyes, wanting to stop his emotions.

"you're years too late. i waited for you to come back years ago. i reached out to you to tell you that we're having a third child but you were gone. i really waited for so long, jaehyun. but you didn't, not once did you knock down my door."

"i started moving on the minute i accepted that you were never coming back. i missed my son everyday, but hell, you didn't think of that." he added before downing the rest of his glass.

"now, you're here asking me if we can fix this relationship? geez, you asshole. we can't fix it anymore, the best we could do is be civil for our children. just because you can think of an easy way in doesn't mean it fixes our situation."

he poured the rest of the bottle's contents and started sipping.

"jaehyun, i don't want to repeat what happened when we first broke up. will you respect my decision and go home?"

they both looked away and tried to find the twins. the twins didn't break off their hug. their embrace were so tight and tears were falling.

"i hope this works." minhyung whispered to his twin's ear.

"we've done it before, we can do it again." mark replied.

still, after that, they didn't seem to let go. they didn't want to let go. even if their parents were already trying to pull them away.

"car service is here." ten said lowly before grabbing the suitcases. taeyong nodded and proceeded to wipe his tears.

"minhyung-ah, they have to go, come on." he tried to pull them away and somehow succeeded. sungchan hugged his hyung tight one last time and the other could only kiss his younger brother's head. "i'll be back, sungchanie, don't worry, okay?"

when the goodbyes were finally over, jaehyun grabbed his son's hand and took their carry-ons. he took one last look back at taeyong and their eyes were giving it away.

guards opening the umbrella, they walked out of the house and into the car. and jaehyun can't risk looking back.

a week later, taeyong has been doing half days at work. entering in the morning and never finishing the day in his office. in a breezy dusk outside his wide balcony, he sat on a hanging egg chair sipping scotch with his two friends .

"do you think i made the right decision?" he asks.

the two men looked at him as he stared at nowhere. they took a glance at each other before looking back at the sad man. "do you think you made the right decision?"

taeyong chuckled for a bit before reminiscing his time with his children. "everytime i think about them, it makes me miss them more."

"when i see my two boys everyday, i can't look at them in the eye because i know i made them sad."

"i thought i can make it better but i can't." he says with a few tears threatening to fall. "i'm scared this can push them away from me, i'm afraid they're gonna hate me."

quickly, they sat beside taeyong's each side and tried to comfort him as much as they could. "no, taeyong. you are their papa. they're growing up, maybe they're going to start understanding."

"i can't even tell them about my history with their father, and jaehyun..." he wipes a single tear from the right cheek. "i hid sungchan from him for 10 years."

"i just wanna drop everything and go back to the way we were but it's too hard. i'm too scared to risk everything again, if it happens again it'll hurt my children even more."

taking the glass from his hand, ten placed it on the table in front of them and wiped away his tears that continued to fall. "i didn't even have the guts to tell him about my situation with you. that would've turned things a lot differently."

they all fell silent. ten could only sigh and felt the need for taeyong to be alone with doyoung. and so, he grabbed the ice bucket and stood up. "let me get us some ice."

when they were left, doyoung placed his hand on top of taeyong's. "i know you still feel sorry for me. you don't have to worry about it anymore, taeyong."

taeyong looked at him with worry. no one could ever get mad at this pure heart. he thought.

"we were friends first before we were lovers. i do understand how much you love jaehyun, you know? and even if things couldn't work between us, don't worry about it because believe me..." he stops and wipes another tear from taeyong's face. "i am more than willing to stay as your friend still."

he pouts and arm around taeyong and gazed up at the orange sky. "what am i gonna do, doie?" by now, he tried, with all his might, to stop his tears even just a little bit.

"i was fine before he got here."