my drug | ashtray | euphoria

chapter 4: "do you actually like him"

i woke up at 10am still in ash's arms, i picked up my phone and i had 10 missed calls from Maddy, i messaged her to tell her i was ok

maddy

-MCKENZIE RAE PEREZ ANSWER ME
-sorry maddy, i spent the night at fez's
-why tf you spending the night at a drug dealers
-he's my friend maddy and i couldn't deal with you or the party
-ugh when you coming home
-soon i'm gonna get ready then go see cassie
-ok

i looked up and ash was still asleep, he looked so cute, i stood up and walked out. fez was in the kitchen making breakfast. "good morning", fez smiled at me. "morning", i sat down at the table and fez brought over some bacon and eggs, "thank you dude", i said taking a mouthful of my food. after i finished eating i put my bowl in the sink, "so you and ash, what's going on", fez asked between mouthfuls of his food, "idk, we kissed last night but that's it". i turned around and went to walk off, these kind of conversations are very awkward for me. "do you actually like him Kenz", Fez said pretty sternly, i turned around and he had such a serious look on his face. "what do you mean Fez", i anxiously replied, fez has never acted like this with me. "you know what i mean Kenzie". i did know what he meant but i didn't want to answer really. "yeah, i really really like him, i don't think i'll act on it though cause if it makes things awkward between us i'd blame myself", i sat down and put my head in my hands, i didn't even know i liked him that much. "wow, i promise nothing will make it awkward between us, ur my family Kenzie, always". i don't know what came over me but i just burst into tears, fez came over and hugged me.

i was crying into fez's chest when i heard footsteps behind me, ash had woken up. i dried my eyes and turned around, "morning", i chirped trying to hide my tears, i fake smiled and he looked me in the eyes, "um Kenzie can you help me clean up your stuff in the bedroom", ash asked, "yup i'll be right in", i replied. ash turned and headed to the room, i turned to fez and mouthed "thank you" before smiling and walking away.

i got to the room and ash was sat on the bed, he patted next to him signalling me to sit next to him. i sat down and looked at him, i started crying again, god what is wrong with me at the moment. he hugged me and i cried more. he pulled back and cupped my face in his hands. "hey hey it's ok, tell me what's up, be honest", ash said sympathetically. "nothing really, i don't know just an emotional conversation with Fez, don't know why i got so upset", "oh ok", ash said. it went quiet for a minute, i looked ash in the eyes, his eyes are so comforting. he kissed me again, i wanted to pull away at first, i don't know why, i think i was scared of fez walking in for a minute. after a second my fears disappeared and i just let it happen.

we were still kissing when there was a knock on the door. "yo can i come in?" it was fez. i pulled away and ash gave me one more little kiss before he shouted out to fez, "yeah it's fine". he walked in and looked at us, i saw a little smile appearing on his face. "what you doing today Kenz". fez asked sitting down on the bed, "i'm going Cassie's then i'm going home, i need to speak to my sister", "ahh ok", "speaking of i need to get ready". i said and sat up. i grabbed my dress from the night before, ran to the bathroom and threw it on. i walked back out and realised i only had my heels. "can i borrow a pair of shoes please i can't walk to Cassie's in these heels", "of course", ash replied, grabbing a pair of sneakers and passing them to me, "thanks", i smiled and slipped them on. i grabbed my phone and messaged Cassie.

cassie

-hey Cas, u home?
-yeahh, why
-can i come over, i need to tell you something?
-of course
-ok i'll be there in 10

"ok i've got to go, i'll message u later fez", i looked at ash, "i'll get ur number later, i guess we'll just NEED to see each other since you'll need your shoes back", i smiled and i saw a smirk on his face. "yes we'll just NEED to", he said. i went to run out the door but ash grabbed my arm. i turned around and ash kissed my cheek, "goodbye", he whispered, "bye", i smiled and walked out.. god i love him