my drug | ashtray | euphoria

chapter 10: fights

i was sat in ash's room still just sobered up when ash walked in, "so what was that last night", he asked. "i was just tired", i replied looking around, i couldn't make eye contact with him, "don't fucking lie to me McKenzie", he shouts hitting his hand against the door. "what, i'm not lying", i said quietly, a tear running down my face. i hate people shouting at me. "the pills in the cupboard were 1. moved and 2. some were missing, i'm not fucking dumb", he looked at me, clearly angry. "i'm sorry, i don't know why i did it". i looked at the floor and wiped under my eyes trying to stop crying. "you were 6 fucking months clean, look we shouldn't of done this Kenzie, i'm a drug dealer and your a recovering drug addict, it would never work". he passes me a bag full of my stuff. "wait what", i look up at him tears all down my face, "no, your not serious ash". "i am Kenzie it's not healthy for you, or me i can't see u on drugs that's not fair on me",he turns around. "not fair on you! what the fuck ash", i screamed, "just leave McKenzie", ash said not looking at me. i didn't say anything else, i just walked out.

as i was walking down the hall to the front door, tears running down my face, fez walked out of his room. i didn't say anything just hugged him he didn't say anything either. "i'm so sorry", i whispered before walking out the door.

i walked home crying the entire time. when i got home i ran to my room, i didn't want Maddy or my mum to see me. i cried myself to sleep in my bed in the one thing of ash's i had, a hoodie he gave me the first night i stayed there.

i woke up in the morning to multiple messages from fez

fez

-kenz can we speak please
-kenz please
-kenzie are you mad at me?

-sorry fez i was asleep, i'm not mad at you, ofc we can speak.

-ok, meet me at the shop?

-ok....

-ash won't be there don't worry.

-thanks fez, see you in 20

-ok

i got up and just put a comfy outfit on

and left for the shop.

i got to the shop and walked in, fez was sat at the counter smoking some weed. thankfully fez was truthful, ash wasn't there. i walked over and gave ash a hug, "can i have a joint?", i asked. "yeah i'll make you one", he replied grabbing some weed, "thanks", i said taking a seat. he made the joint and passed it to me. "so why did you do it?", fez asked quietly, i knew he knew but it hurts hearing him say it. "i don't know i went to get some water and snacks and i saw them", i looked at the floor, i couldn't look at him. "okay", he responded.

we spoke more when there was voices outside, i was sat behind a shelf so you couldn't see me when you walk through the doors, i heard ash's voice, and a girl. i sat there frozen for a minute before standing up and walking out to the front so everyone could see me. ash had his arm around the girl and she had her head on his shoulder, i felt a tear running down my cheek. "can you give us a minute", ash said to the girl. "of course baby", she said, she kissed him before walking out.

i was pissed and upset, i didn't want ash to know how much it bothers me. i stopped myself from crying and started to walk out, "Kenzie", ash shouted as i walked out. "don't", i shouted back walking away.

i ran home bawling the entire time. i can't fucking believe him.

when i get home i went to my room and lay on my bed when i got a text

fez

-hey Kenz, i know you probably won't believe me but i honestly didn't know ash was gonna come

-it's fine fez, i believe you don't worry.

-thanks :)

-ok i'm gonna get some sleep, goodnight fez

-night Kenzie

i cried myself to sleep again. for fuck sake.

credits to godlyghostz  for the idea :)